Her Life

I waited. He had promised that they would be home that afternoon, and when I glanced at my watch it said that it was five o'clock, and there still wasn't any sign of his family pulling into their driveway.

I looked out the makeshift window of the tree house at the setting sun and felt heaviness settle in the pit of my stomach. My lip began to tremble and I hugged my knees to my chest. It had been four months since I had seen him, and during that visit, we were only given a few hours together. He and his family were just passing through, and had needed to get to the next stop on the tour by midnight the following day.

That was the hardest good bye of my life. It was just after my sisters and brother’s accident. I had needed him with me so badly during that time, and he knew it. It was hard for us both; we had lost so much, and needed to lean on each other to pull through the pain. He held on to me tightly and buried his head in my shoulder and the two of us cried. Soon, we were being ripped apart by his obligations, and he was once again being taken from me. He wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed my cheek, "It won't be long. I'll be home soon." I prayed that it would only be a few weeks, but things kept happening, more dates being added to the promotional tour, and his return date kept on being pushed back farther.

Then, I got a phone call saying that he'd be home in the afternoon the next day and to wait for him in the Tree house. He had said we had a lot to talk about, and that he couldn't wait to see me... and now he wasn't here. I thought back to my sisters' Birthday and cringed at the thought of the same fate being served to him...

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes, and I pushed my worries aside and leaned my head against the scratchy wood and sighed. My mind wandered back to the days when we'd be in his backyard playing an adventurous game of war with his brothers. It would be my sisters Emma and Chloe (twins), my brother Trevor, him, Isaac and Zac, and myself. The teams were always uneven, but we didn't care. Our weapons were water guns and mud balls and the seven of us would run around shouting and laughing, and end up lying in the grass soaked from head to toe with mud and water. Somehow, he always managed to flop down beside me. We would all lay there completely covered in filth and watch the clouds roll above us, trying to guess their shapes and all giggling at Zac's outlandish suggestions. I'd eventually close my eyes and allow my heart beat to calm down, and without anyone else knowing it, he'd slip his hand in mine. I loved the feel of his warm fingers wrapping around my hand. They were big and strong and were always so comforting.

After a while I'd open my eyes and turn my head to look at him. He'd have a smile playing on his lips, and I'd lose myself in his eyes. Those two pools of blue would swallow me whole and take me so far into them that I was always scared I wouldn't be able to find my way out again. There were days that I wanted to stay in his eyes and I'd try to keep him looking at me as long as I could. He understood that, so we'd just watch each other for a few moments, and I'd sink deeper into him; hardly hearing the chatter going on around me.

Soon someone would suggest food, and we'd all race into the house to find something to eat. Somehow, the boy’s mother Diana always knew when we were coming and would have snacks laid out for us on the table. They would normally consist of veggies and dip, chips, Twinkies, and Lemonade. We'd all grab a plate of food and wander out into the back yard. The two of us would manage to climb up into the tree house with our plates, and would sit and talk while we ate. It was always so relaxing to be around him, everything about him drew me into his aura. He radiated with kindness and tenderness, and I couldn't imagine my life without him....

When I looked outside the window again the stars were shining brightly in the dark sky. I let my tears fall from my face silently as I watched the stars shimmer above me; I had lost hope in him ever returning home. It felt like he was slipping away from me, like I'd never feel him close again. Never see those piercing blue eyes always questioning me, caring about what was inside. He had left me just like my siblings had. Except it wasn't a car accident, it was his commitments to his music and his fans that took him from me.

I curled up into a tight ball on the tree house floor; the cool wood soothing my cheek, and closed my eyes. I didn't want to go home that night. The house was too empty. My parents were distant, and hardly seemed to be alive. I wanted to scream to them that I was still there. That even though they were gone, I was still with them, that they could love me. But, my voice was always too small and quiet, and every time I tried, my pleas came out as whispers. They never heard me.

Soon sleep washed over me and I was lulled into a heavy and violent slumber. My nightmares were painful and distorted. My ears heard squealing tires; my eyes saw blood and broken glass. My heart crushed inside me and my mind clouded and became so murky that I had to clear away the sludge with my own hands.

I began to whimper in my sleep and desperately tried to wake myself, but my mind refused to let me. Instead it threw me to the asphalt and allowed me to lay there screaming in sorrow as I watched my two sisters’ and my brother’s mangled bodies being pulled from the wreck...

Then suddenly, there were two warm, strong arms lifting me up and into them, and I felt peace wash over me. It took all of the hurt away and left me with soothing waves of a familiar tenderness...

I felt soft hair against my cheek, and the faint smell of old familiar cologne wafted passed my nose. Slowly, terrified that I was still dreaming I opened my eyes to find myself in his arms. I pulled him closer, and wept into his shoulder; so thankful that God had brought him home to me.

He held me for a while; rocking me back and forth, whispering sweet words in my ears until finally the tears stopped and air began to enter into my lungs. I pulled a part from him slightly, and looked at him with questions burning in my eyes. "Our plane got delayed. I tried to call, but you had already left your house.” He touched my cheek, and I melted into his finger tips, “ I'm so sorry, River."

He pulled me close again and I kissed his cheek, "I've missed you, Taylor." I whispered to him. He laughed a little, and leaned against the wall of his tree house. I knew that I'd eventually have to say good-bye again, but at that moment the stars were too bright, the air was too sweet and he was too close for me to care about what would happen when the sun came up.