Every man dreams of a bat cave
That he can call his own
Where HE's the super hero
With the red super hero phone
I spend lots of time on the toilet
And no, that's NOT my super power
But it's allowed me to plan out my hidden lair
With secret access behind the shower
The TP dispenser, when twisted just right
Lifts the bathtub right up in the air
Revealing a hidden entrance
And the top of the secret stairs
The towel rack has its special use
(Pull three times, push once, and you'll see)
Revealing my secret super computer
With a fabulous 30 inch screen
Behind the mirror are some weapons
(In case I'm attacked while I shave)
Nunchucks, batons and a sai or two
And my favorite weapon, the Glaive
So make fun of the time I spend in there
Oblivious in your mirth
But while you're out there making fun of me
I'm in here
Saving the earth
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