Deathrow

Death Row


I awoke with start. I had dreamt myself back to the beautiful hill sides, the breeze fluttering the
willows and the cool brook splashing against my feet, draining out of my hands and falling like liquid
diamonds in the moonlight. The night sky was dotted with serene silver stars; I was at peace then. I had
no inkling it would be my last night.
My eyes opened to rest on the blank lifeless stone cold walls of my cell. I shut my eyes in vain,
trying desperately to escape back into the past. The only scene that played on the dark screen of my closed
eyes, was the horrors that had sealed my fait. Opening my eyes, the only light that greeted them was from
the dim bulb in the corridor. It cast ghostly shadows through the bars, stripping the gray concrete floor.
The hands on the clock told me my last hour had arrived. The witching hour would come, and along with
it Death, through lethal injection. At the thought, vile raised in my mouth, acid burning my throat. I
swallowed it back down into my empty stomach. My last meal lay untouched on the tray the guard had
left. I had tasted it, it was all right, but when the guard had wished me a good last meal, the food lost it's
taste.
As I sat there with my knees brought up to rest under my chin, I stared out into the dimness conjuring up
ghosts of those before me who had sat in this exact cell on death row. With a shudder I got up and started
pacing, like a caged animal. A sign of claustrophobia, my shrink would say, I thought sarcastically. He
was a skinny necked know-it-all, who knew nothing of my truth. It hadn't been my fault! How was I
supposed to know Joe slipped Cocaine into my drink. The whisky was too dark, and it was to late by the
time I had noticed. My vision blurred, Joe seemed to me like he was talking like an old Japanese movie,
where the lips move before they speak audible words. I started to hallucinate..and then... I don't know.
Then next thing I knew was he was dead, a butcher knife protruded from his back- it had went right
through him and had impaled him to the floor. A coroner was bent over him trying to wrench the knife
out of the floor. I remember a sickening crack as the bloodied handle broke lose- I never found out if the
noise was the handle breaking or Joes' rib cage popping apart as the blade was wrenched upward.
I stopped pacing and sat down again, I felt lightheaded. I wanted to let the darkness cover me-
but I had to think, I had to pray that my appeal would be meet and I would leave this place and go home.
If not for that, I would pray that God would heed my prayers and see the truth. I was being used as an
example. My actions had been used as an excuse to prove to women that equal rights in jail were being
exercised. No one new about the cocaine, no one that mattered. Even my shrink thought I was just
psychotic and killed Joe out of rage. I had given up trying to explain the truth, now all I could do was
wait.
I think the moment when my heart did stop was when the errie clank of jail keys being extruded from a
tight pocket, broke me from my thoughts.
The guard handcuffed me and took me from my cell, the cell gate screamed- the sound of steel biting into
steel. Along the dark hallways we pasted under other dim bulbs of light, until we stopped at a tiny room.
The focal point of the room, you would think, was the picture window that looked into a theater like
seating area. For me the only thing in my vision was the cold steel table, the kind autopsies are done on.
As the leather restraints bit into my arm painfully, a tear slid down my cheek. This is where it would end,
I wanted to try and let the truth be known- but it was to late. A warmth was creeping through my veins,
en rout to my heart. My eyes fell shut, darkness engulfed me. I prayed one last tine, this time for
forgiveness. As my racing pulsed slowed, my hearing faded, I felt lost in nothingness. Then a sound- the
wind through the willows. I felt a cool breeze against my face, the touch of water on my legs and a
calmness in the air. With effort I opened my eyes- the hill side, the silver moon and serene stars- I knew I
had been forgiven and had come home at last.