A Force to Be Reckoned With

What is a
         FORCE to be reckoned with?

-That which makes old boobies sag,
Drops the pants of ancient men
         below the waist,
Sucks contact lenses
into carpet fibers,
Soils autos, freshly washed,
with birdie poo.

-The reason behind parachutes
and helmets.

-Something that makes beer and shoes
a pair in skanky bars.

-Why no one wants to see
a sad guy on a roof,
or be below the kid who
just ate pizza before getting on
the ferris wheel
         (a ride that he hates).

-One that bonks really smart guys
named Newton on the head...

         -'nuff said!