i havent said enough

ive said too damn much
of what ive wanted to say.
ive incriminated myself against myself.
time creates more to say
and there is so much more to say.
the things ive said are already enough
to breed distrust, to fucking suck
the life out of the relationship ive wanted all along with you.
your name is spoken and all who hear
have my past mistakes glued, so nothing i do
and everything i do revolve around the fact im infatuated with you.
all emotions be damned, thats entirely true.
you are the tease of my eye, the portrayal of perfection;
how can i deny
your part in my life - love would have been nice,
but thats not reality.
too many things would have been nice, but i love my life,
ive never thought twice.
now its time every last one of you know this fact too.

ive said too damn much
of what ive wanted to say.
to everyone...
it's time it's all said, it's past time..but now hear them my way.
so read these lines like your inhaling lines, let every letter affect your brain.
love was never part of the equation, it's never been there.
if this creates shock
i hope it hurts.
i hope you hurt
as much as i did when my feelings as a friend
were mistaken again and again
for feelings i always had but were misconstrued.
when i asked about her it wasnt an invitation
for you to assume
that my thoughts revolved around her and i was consumed.
im not, so stop
being a burden to my emotional curtain ive used
to shield my thoughts from what is not true.
be a friend, and let a friend
have thoughts of a friend without adding your own mix of shit not needed.
mind your own damn farm and seed it,
but stay away from mine and let me reap the sow ive already grown.
these are my words to you
so take them how you want them,
eat them, breathe them or leave them. just know by them
that what you thought
isnt true.

ive said too damn much
of what ive wanted to say.
to her...
you know how i feel, ive already said too much of what is in my head.
but you too,
are easily read
and it's time i differentiated the fallacies
you surely believe.
lying about the situation has bred contempt
in our friendship. you no more want to believe me than you readily want to
accept the words of all you confide in.
im trying
i liked the friend i once was to you. what about you?
your lips part to say some great things
and the point is
any compliment i give to you
is not a prelude to a kiss. it is my way of making up
for the mistakes ive made
that hurt you.
weve conversed about our thoughts, and my lust for you is well known
but misunderstood.
you embody the perfect form
that any naked eye could ever want. maybe its just my eyes
that truly are addicted to your curves, your eyes and beautiful skin.
men attached who have no right to speak of such things
can remain silent
when i am forced to explain
the entirety of my feelings.
the humor is added
when it's decided that all men lust.
so why are my attractions the ones that are wrung thin
to drip at my feet and be deciphered
without any cause except i am attracted to someone?
it's time that was said,
being awkward around each other has grown old. you do what you want,
please include me as a friend. more has never been done
or attempted.
i can say with certainty
i would like differently,
and i wish physical things could happen.
but i beg you
dont let
these words
confuse what is true.
none of this can happen,
its a pattern
in my life
to not have what i want, and its accepted.
to who reads this, dont read between the lines
i have nothing disguised.
what you believe is a lie.
let me live with my friendship
to them both, if it remains.