Je t'aime...

Great news! My computer is back up! So I'll be regularly adding parts ot this story and poetry and reading and reviewing other work. Yeah for me! Hope you enjoy!
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Chapter 1

“Have your ever had sex?”
“Why even ask that question? Next.” Miguel chuckled.
“This is stupid anyway.” Amana scowled, suddenly agitated.
“You’re the one who said you wanted to take this purity test and now you don’t, girl you trippin’”. Kami stretched out on the light blue carpet as her striped silver gray tabby grazed her leg.
Amana pouted as she searched for something to say. “All I’m saying is let’s just take a break. I’m thirsty, aren’t you Miguel?”
“Thirsty… um, yeah, yeah, thirsty. Kami, do you mind?”
“Whatever, be right back.”
“Thanks girl.”
Kami struggled to move from her comfortable position to her feet. As she walked sluggishly to the kitchen, Miguel reminded her, “and bring some more popcorn.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Miguel picked up the test as he squirmed in his seat, trying to regain his comfortable position.
“Let’s see, what’s next. Ah, here’s an interesting one. Have you ever had sex with an animal?” Catching the end of his question as she reentered the room, Kami screeched, “What?”
“Just reading the next question on the test. So how ‘bout it, you and kitty here ever…”
“Gross!” she screamed as she threw a hand full of popcorn at him.
“Hey, just asking,” he said innocently, looking around for some stale popcorn he could throw back.
“Psyche is my cat and nothing else, that is so gross. I’ll never look at her the same now.” She pretended to pout as she threw more popcorn.
“Hey!” Amana screamed, “You’ll waste all the popcorn!”
“I didn’t really think you’d want any but if you do…” she threw a handful at Amana, giggling.
“Hey!” Amana screamed again.
“Let’s get her!” There was a playful revenge in Miguel’s voice as Amana fought through a shower of popcorn to reach out and grab Kami while Miguel attacked her with tickles.
“Are you sorry?” He was taunting her.
“I…I…I…am… sorry…please…okay…stop…oh…please…” she gasped between bursts of laughter and gulps of air.
“Really?”
“Yes really, now let me up.” She struggled wobbly to her feet, still laughing. “Amana! How could you?” She pretended to be hurt.
“Hey, you started it.” She chuckled, sweeping a stray strand of red hair out of her eyes.
“Okay, but watch out Miguel,” she threatened, “Cause I just might waylay you at any moment.”
“Waylay- what type of word is that?” He smirked.
“SAT’s, sorry.”
“Anyway, shall we continue the test, ladies?” He said brushing her threat aside.
“Nah, let’s pop in a movie. I’ve got Scream 2, American Pie, and Down to You.”
“Bout time,” Amana sighed.
“So what shall it be: horror, comedy, or chick flick.” Miguel was almost afraid to hear the vote, already knowing their response.
“Chick flick.” Amana and Kami said in unison, giggling.
“Oh man, come on you guys,” he pleaded, an especially adorable imploring in his voice.
“You know the procedure Miguel, majority rules.”
“Yeah I know but I think we should have a new rule because you two never want to watch the horror or comedy until after I’m asleep.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be such a sleepyhead.”
“Cheap shot.” He grimaced, thinking, “ maybe your movies shouldn’t be so boring.”
“Whatever.”
“Okay, let’s make a new rule, every week we rotate. If we watch horror first on one week, then the next week we’ll have to watch something else first, like comedy, so at least every 3 weeks we’ll be watching horror first. Sound good?”
“That’s why I love you Kami, always reasonable. Amana?” He asked with a raised brow.
“I don’t know…” she teased, “I kind of enjoy always out-voting you.”
“Amana…” Miguel warned.
“All right, all right, just kidding, new rule. Everyone ready?”
“Uh huh.”
“Yeah.”
They formed a circle and held hands. Kami started, “May this spoken word bind me to thee…” They repeated her words in unison.
“one to another may this word bind me to thee…” Amana and Kami simultaneously repeated Miguel, matching his solemn tone.
Amana finished, “which shall not be broken, shall always abound, except we agree one with another to nullify this pact made with the lips of the unbroken three…” Again, the others resounded her words in chorus.
“Bound I am to this word, truth I bring to this circle, one to another shall this be.” Kami remembered the first time they had created their pact and how it had always allowed them to stay friends and be honest with one another, as Miguel repeated the words, “Bound I am to this word, truth I bring to this circle, one to another shall this be.” Finally, Amana concluded, “Bound I am to this word, truth I bring to this circle, one to another shall this be.”
They released hands and found comfortable spots as the atmosphere regained its light mood.
“I’m already comfortable, can you put the movie on Miguel since you haven’t sat down yet.”
He threw up his hands, “Just what I need, to assist in torturing myself!” He exclaimed as he walked over to the black RCA. The girls squealed as Freddie Prince Jr. appeared on the screen. He sighed, “Here we go.”

***

Chapter 2

“Don’t look now but here comes Jason.”
“Seriously!” Kami squealed as she pivoted, dropping the books she had just retrieved from her locker. Amana smirked as she watched her friend of twelve years; but sadly she knew Kami didn’t have a chance with Jason as long as Charmaine was around. Charmaine didn’t like any girl within a one-mile radius of Jason, and she let it be known. Besides that, she was vindictive, definitely someone you didn’t want to cross. Even if she broke up with Jason, she could never stand for someone else, especially Kami, to be with him. Kami definitely had her work cut out for her.
“Hey, Kami, did you get Wilson’s homework last night?” He asked absently as Charmaine hung from his arm, boring her eyes into Kami and Amana.
“Oh, hey. Um, yeah, let me just…” her words trailed as she stooped to gather her books. As she stood, she graced him with her most dazzling smile. After an akward pause, “Oh, the homework, um…,” she stopped to collect her thoughts, silently scolding herself for acting so ditzy, “um, yeah, we had to complete those five calc problems and word from the grapevine has it that he’s going to give a pop quiz based on the homework. So if you did it you’re cool but if you didn’t,” she sighed, “It’s an “A” or “F” situation.”
“Man.” The word carried weight and the atmosphere behind it was disturbing.
“What? What’s up? Don’t tell me you didn’t—” Kami’s concerned tone and soft expression merited a dispising look of hate from Charmaine.
“I was at a game when he explained that stuff.”
“Oh. Well…” she paused, “I could help you during lunch.” The words pratically flew out her mouth. She couldn't believe she had actually said that. She was a wreck on the inside but managed to sound surprisingly nonchalant.
“Really?” He sounded excited.
“Yeah sure. Why not?”
“Cool. Yeah, that would be great.”
“Wait baby, I could help you.” Charmaine sounded desperate as she seethed with jealousy.
“But don’t you have a mandatory meeting with the other cheerleaders during lunch?”
“Yeah, but…”
“Go ahead to your meeting and Kami can help me. It’s fine.” Kami fought the giddiness rising within her.
“All right baby. I love you. You’ll miss me right?” Charmaine's display was sickening.
“Always.” She engaged into a deep lasting kiss with Jason. As she pulled away she stared coldly at Kami, pivoted, and sashayed away.
“What’s with her?” Amana offered.
“She’s just having a bad day that’s all.”
“She seems to be PMSing to me.”
With an embarrassed blush, “So, where shall we meet?” Her voice wavered as she tried to sound cool while fighting the overwhelming rush of mixed emotions flooding through her.
“Let’s see. Someplace quiet and secluded,” Kami’s heart jumped, “like Wilson’s classroom.”
“Can we do that?” She asked in an incredulous tone, arching an eyebrow.
“Of course. It’s me. Jason. Nothing is restricted to me.” Amana couldn't believe his arrogance.
Fighting her conscience, “All right then, see you at 11:30” she said flashing him a smile, slamming her locker, grabbing Amana’s arm, and turning to leave.
***
“What was that?”
“What?”
“PMSing?!”
“Well, it’s true. Why are we going towards the bathroom? We’re going to be late. We have one minute to get to class.” Amana griped.
“You know why. You saw what just happened?” She exclaimed, disbelief lathering her voice as she pulled her inside the bathroom.
“Of course. Can we talk about it later?”
“What’s wrong with you? I’ve been waiting for this my entire life, I’ve dreamed of this moment, why aren’t you happy for me?” Kami shrieked.
“I am. I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“A lot like what?”
Amana hung her head as she fought to find the words. “Kami, I…”
“What? What’s wrong?”
I think… I think I’m pregnant.” Her normally electrifying emerald eyes glazed over with tears.
“Are you sure?” Kami was in shock.
“I’m sixteen days late.” She was shaking.
“You might just be stressed out. Just relax; I’m sure it will come. This can’t be happening. Didn’t you and Troy use protection?”
Her silent tears turned to shaking sobs as she heard these words.
“Sshh. Come here. Come here, everything will be all right. You hear me.” Kami said as she took Amana in her arms, smoothing and stroking her fiery red hair, talking to her in a soothing motherly tone, “Everyone will be all right.”

***

After twenty minutes, Amana’s sobbing had subsided to quiet tears and eventually she fell asleep. Kami wondered how life had gotten so complicated and how moments could possibly be so bitter sweet. In forty minutes, she was going to be alone with Jason. She remembered the first time she met him. They were eleven; she, Amana, and Miguel were sitting in the bleachers eating corn dogs and drinking Pepsi’s, watching St. Albans little league team, the Blazers compete against the Knights. She was laughing at some joke Miguel had told, when Jason, up at bat, hit a home run. The ball flew straight to her. Miguel screamed for her to watch out. She whipped around right in time for the ball to hit her in the shoulder. She screamed and her blood was boiling, she was so upset. She could not wait until the game had ended to give him a piece of her mind. As soon as the game was over, Jason ran away from his team and up to the bleachers to see if she was all right. She could still remember their conversation.
“Hey, are you all right?” His concerned tone caught her off guard, “Um, yeah. I guess. Why don’t you watch where you aim that thing next time.” She was seething.
“Let me see.” She was surprised by the request and lifted up her sleeve to show a bruise.
“You should get that checked out.” He reached to touch it and she winced back in pain. “See.”
“No stuff Holmes. Look, it’s just tender right now, my mom’s going to make me put some ice on it.”
“I’m sorry.”
Then they were silent for a while, she remembered feeling so awkward. Then Miguel, bubbling with excitement, piped in, “Hey, man that was great. How’d you learn to hit like that?”
“Oh, just practice.”
“Maybe you could teach me sometime.”
“All right, that sounds cool. Look, I have to go now, the team is having a victory celebration: we’re going out for pizza. I’m sorry um… um… what’s your name?”
“Kami.”
“I’m sorry Kami.”
“It’s all right.” He turned to walk away and she called after him, “Jason.”
He turned, “yeah.”
“Could you sign this?” She asked, holding out the ball, “since you are an all-star.” She had never been one to keep angry long.
“Sure. You really think I’m an all-star."
“Nah. But it sounded good in my head.”
“Oh.” He seemed disappointed. “Well, so what, you’re not all that either.” He was defensive.
“I oughta—“
“You oughta, what?”
“I oughta do this.” She spat out as she punched him.
“You’re lucky you’re a girl. or you’d get it.”
“Whatever, I could whip you any day.”
“Anyway.” He turned and left her standing there.
“I hate that boy.” She mumbled.
After that day she had forgotten all about Jason Keys, at least until the start of sixth grade- he was in her class. It had started out as a crush. All the girls in class had started to have boyfriends, even Amana. None of the boys in her class interested her except Jason. She hated the fact that she liked him because she was supposed to hate him, even though she forgot why. After a while, she fancied she’d imagined the whole thing and she had never really hated him. Many times she tried to gather the courage to talk to him but she never could, so a casual sixth grade crush became an eighth grade infatuation and finally as a sophomore, she fell completely in love with him. It wasn’t like she had never spoken with him since that summer; between sixth and twelfth grade they had had casual contact every now and then, it was kind of hard not to in six years, but they had never really become friends. The people he hung with were different and it seemed it would take too much energy to compete with all the girls trying to get their hands on the hottest athlete in school, not to mention a catfight with Charmaine. It was hopeless and yet she still had to hope, especially when unexpected miracles in the form of private tutoring sessions happened. And yet, in the same moment, her best friend in the world was going through every girl’s nightmare and she didn’t know how to help. She mused over life and the curve balls it sometimes threw as the bell sounded and Amana stirred.
“Hey, you okay.” Kami’s heart ached as she wished she knew what to say.
“Yeah. I just need to wash my face.” She stood shakily, wobbled, balanced herself and glided over to the sink.
“It’s lunch now, you need me to stay with you?”
“Are you kidding? And miss the chance of a lifetime!” Amana said grabbing a paper towel to pat her face dry and reaching for her purse.
“Look, you are way more important– ”
“Girl, I’ll be okay. I wouldn’t let you miss this.” Kami could tell Amana felt better.
“You sure?”
“Get on out of here. I’m fine. Find me after lunch to give me a full recap, ‘k.”
“All right.” Kami said smiling, the giddiness arising inside her again.
Amana paused in putting on her makeup to give Kami a hug and a good luck wish.
“You too.” Kami said sweeping past Amana and out the bathroom door.

***
Eyes dried and makeup reapplied, Amana stepped into the brightly lit hallway.
“I am okay. I can do this.” She repeated to herself, trying to keep her composure.
“Do what?” Amana jumped at Miguel’s unexpected presence.
“Oh, hey Miguel, what’s up?” She tried to sound cool.
“What’s up? What do you mean what’s up? Where were you last hour?” He sounded like a concerned parent while jostling past people walking in the opposite flow of hallway traffic.
“Cool it dad.”
“Ha ha, fuuny. Seriously, what’s up?”
“Um, Miguel I gotta go, there’s Troy. I’ll catch you later, okay?” The desperation in her voice was unmistakable, but before he could respond, she had already made her way out of earshot.
“Girls!” He exclaimed as he threw up his hands and headed towards the science room.

***

“Amana.” Not knowing what to expect, Troy’s voice was even.
“Are you upset with me?”
“Concerned. Why haven’t I heard from you in over a week? What’s going on?”
“I… um… nothing honey, everything’s fine. My parents have been trippin’ and –”
“Stop it Amana, I know you. Something isn’t right. Just tell me. Did I do something?” His tone soft and quiet, he gingerly stroked her arm and she shivered.
“No, no it’s nothing like that I just… I’ve been really busy, that’s all.”
“Yeah busy avoiding me,” he realized the hardness of his tone and softened it, “I’ve missed you.” He stopped, gauging her reaction.
“I…Troy, I have to go. I have cheerleading tryouts right now. I’ll call you later okay?” She reached up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, “love you.”
Before he could reach out and touch her, she blended in with the last remnants of lunchtime traffic.
“Something is wrong and I’m going to find out what it is.” He vowed to himself as he turned, wondering where he could find Kami.

***

“Hey.” Kami said breathlessly, partly because she jogged all the way to Wilson’s room trying not to be late, and partly because it was him, so beautiful, so elusive. “Sorry I’m late.” She said gaining her composure.
“’S cool, I just got here myself actually.”
“Oh. All right,” she said dropping her calculus books and her overstuffed bag on a desk and taking a seat beside him, then turning to face him. “So, where should we begin?”
“How about with you telling me about yourself, I mean we’ve gone to the same school for over five years and I don’t even know your last name.”
“What,” he caught her completely off guard, “I thought we were here to study calculus.”
“Yes, but I would feel more comfortable and I think I would learn better if you told me a bit about yourself first.” He flashed his boyishly flirtatious smile.
Kami cringed as her heart melted. “Well what do you want to know?”
“Whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me.”
“Well, let’s see: I’m 17, I’ll be 18 on January 23rd… my favorite color is purple…” She laughed.
“What?” he queried.
“I just feel kind of stupid doing this, I mean, I don’t know what to say.”
“Okay, well let’s pretend you’re on a interview. Miss Kami, my name is Jason Keys and I would like to interview you for my paper "Jason Wants to Know".
"Okay."
"Well, let's begin," his mock reporter voice was hilarious and she did everything she could to suppress her humor,"Why do you always wear that bracelet?”
“Well, remember we had that African Marketplace freshman year?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to buy because nothing actually fit my tastes; then I happened upon a station where a girl was making her own bracelet. It wasn’t that expensive and I really wanted to buy something, so I decided to give it a try.” She smiled at the memory. “They had all these different beads and you could choose any you wanted and arrange them how you wanted, so…I don’t know, I ended up with this. I have no idea why but it has always been special to me.” She smiled in retrospect; he actually noticed what she wore.
“Interesting.”
“What, my story, not hardly.”
“No…you.”
Kami blushed. She had no idea what he meant or where this was going but nonetheless she allowed herself to be entranced in the moment.
“You have dimples.”
Her blush reddened and she was absolutely floating, “So anything else you’re interested in knowing?”
“Yes, you mentioned your birthday was January 23rd, why was I never invited to any of your parties?”
“Well, like you said, we don’t know each other very well, plus, I didn’t think you’d be interested, I mean we live in two completely different worlds.”
“Well, for the record, I’ve always wanted you to be a part of my world.”
Her heart skipped a beat. She had no idea what to say, how to respond. “Oh, really?” She tried to sound cool, nonchalant.
“I don’t know, it’s just that my group is so fake, no one really trusts anyone else, everything is pasted on; every time I see you with Amana and Miguel everything seems so genuine, you really enjoy one another’s company and love one another. I can’t remember one time seeing you all together and everyone wasn’t smiling or laughing- I want that.”
As Kami opened her mouth to respond, Troy walked in.
“Hey, there you are, we need to talk.” Troy said breathlessly, relieved he had finally found her.
“Hey, um Troy, I’m kind of in the middle of something right now. Can’t it wait?”
“It’s important.,” He expounded, “it’s about Amana.”
Kami thought back to their earlier conversation. “Did you talk to her?”
“I couldn’t, she ran away too fast.”
“Maybe you should talk to her.”
“But she…”
“Listen Troy I really can’t, you have to talk to her. I’m sorry.”
“You know, don’t you?”
“Troy…”
“Alright, I’m gone, but we WILL talk later. Got it?”
“Whatever.” She sighed, suddenly feeling heavy. He turned and left.
“Sorry, I have no idea what that was about.” Kami was embarrassed by the interruption and disappointed because she hadn’t gotten to respond to Jason.
“’S cool. Hey, look we’d better start on these problems, we’ve got about 40 minutes.”
“Um, yeah, you’re right.

*******

Chapter 3

“Thank you so much, you’re a life saver.” After a half hour of cramming Jason was just about ready for Wilson’s test.
“It was nothing. I mean, you’re welcome.” She blushed.
Gathering together his books and preparing to leave, “Um, Kami, how would you like to go to the movies Friday night?”
“I’d love too,” she exclaimed as her face lit up. Her over eagerness was too evident and she silently scolded herself as she said,” I mean yeah that sounds cool. I’ll have to check and make sure I don’t have anything else planned.”
“Well it’s a group thing, me, Charmaine, and some of the guys, you know Rich and Tony and dem.”
“Oh, okay.” She was slightly disappointed. She had momentarily forgotten about Charmaine.
“Well just let me before Friday. Okay?”
“Yeah, sure, definitely.”
Jason turned and left considering what a huge mistake he might be making. He walked briskly towards the gym where Charmaine would be waiting for him.
“How did it go? Did you do it?” She was too anxious.
“Well, she said she had to check her schedule and make sure she was free.” His words were heavy.
“Well that great news, isn’t it?” She was bubbling with excitement. “ I mean I know you know that means yes, she’s wanted you for like ever.”
“Whatever. I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“Excuse me. Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet.”
“Look, I’m just tired that’s all. Hey I gotta go, see you later. K.”
He walked past her without another glance, knowing she’d be ticked because of the ice. He didn’t really care at the moment as his conscience told him for the second time that this wasn’t a very good idea.
************
Shaking herself from her daze, Kami went from stunned silence into overdrive. She alternated between the two as she unconsciously walked to Physics.
“Earth to Kami…hello…” Miguel was trying unsuccessfully to gain Kami’s attention.
“Kami.” He shouted.
“What?” She answered dumbfounded. “Oh, I’m sorry, I was just daydreaming.”
“You mean day sleeping.”
“Miguel you won’t believe what just happened.”
After recounting the past hour’s events, “So what do you think?” Her face was brightly lit with hope and joy. With what seemed like the light of the world shining out of her, it occurred to Miguel that she was more beautiful that a star. Because he felt it would be a crime and great injustice to quench this light, he agreed with her about how wonderful this was and that after all this time, maybe her dream was coming true. In truth, he thought Kami could do so much better and had even told her so at times, but she loved Jason and there was nothing he could do about that, no matter how protecting of her he was.

***************

Chapter 4

Amana walked out the building. She had one more class to attend but decided to skip. She needed some air and some time to think. Thus, she began the long walk home. Passing an alley, she shuddered and it all came flooding back. She had been walking home from the mall. She could have called her dad for a ride, or even Kami or Miguel, she could have even caught the bus or a cab, but after having these options run quickly through her head, she just opted to walk. It was only about 8:30 or 9 o’clock but because it was late September, the sun had set and darkness had settled. After walking about three blocks, she began to reconsider her decision, it was getting darker and she growing more tired. Setting down her bags, she pulled out her cell and was about to speed dial Kami because she knew if she called Miguel or her dad, they would both give her a hard time about walking the three blocks and not calling them sooner. They were both overprotective like that. But that was where the resemblance ended. She and Miguel were close, like siblings; her and her father were distant. As a child, she clung to him, he was all she had, since she had never known her mother who died while birthing her, but as a teenager she began to grow farther and farther apart from her father because of issues not uncommon to other teenage girls and fathers. Just as she began to scroll the names, someone grabbed her while covering her mouth and pulled her into the shadows, causing her to drop her phone. Terrified, she hysterically tried to kick and fight and even managed to bite the attacker’s hand causing him to uncover her mouth. She screamed and he knocked her down. She could still hear his words whispering in her ear, could feel his stale breath upon her face and he mounted her, while she tried to struggle from under his grasp.
“If you scream again, I’ll kill you. Understand.”
Tears stinging her eyes and muffled sobs escaping her lips she nodded.
“Now, stop struggling and I’ll make this quick and painless.”
He then began to move one had down her body, stopping at her pant’s zipper, while pinning her hands above her head with the other. As he began to unzip her pants, she got hysterical and screamed. He knocked her in the head with something heavy like metal and she blacked out. The next thing she remembered was awaking with a headache. She was lying on the ground and her head felt wet. Touching it, she winced and she remembered. She thought it must have been blood. Her clothes were tattered and torn. Trying to stand, she became dizzy and fell back to the ground. And there she sat for hours sobbing.
Lost in her reminiscence, she accidentally bumped into a man. Snapping out of her thoughts at this contact, she heard the man mumble an apology. His voice was eerily familiar, and without responding, she ran the rest of the way home.

***********

Chapter 5

“See you later. K.”
“Sure,” Miguel responded to Kami as they parted to their next class, she to calculus and he to Spanish.
Though Kami had always had the best grades between them, Miguel was always the studious student. Thus, he wasted no time hastening to Spanish class. He was the boy that sat in the front row, dead in the center to get a good view. The boy who went to his teacher after class to get extra credit assignments he didn’t need. The non-athletic, goody-goody teacher’s pet. At least that was how most of Champlain High viewed him. However, unlike his typical counterpart, Miguel was far from dorky. With his golden complexion and honey colored eyes to match, he was just cute enough to have a few girls who were interested in him, but just shy enough to keep them at bay. He was single, but only by choice. Easy going while being a teaser, he personality was magnetic. It was hard to imagine he was so shy and reserved. Walking into class he quickly glanced around the room and assessed the situation. Substitute teacher, translation: utter chaos. Dropping his bag next to his normal first row, forth column seat, he sat down, pulled out his physics book and began to make a feeble attempt at completing his homework assignment.
“Your teacher left your assignment with me. We’re going to talk about Spanish speaking countries around the world. Now I expect everyone to participate, so take your seats and let’s begin,” the substitute’s voice flowed delicate and sweet, almost lulling the students to their seats, “Thank you. Now, who all has been to Puerto Rico?”
Miguel groaned. Raising his hand only slightly, so that it could barely be seen, he counted his participation duty done. However, he made the mistake of letting the teacher make eye contact with him.
“Young man, what is your name?”
“Miguel.”
“And you’ve been to Puerto Rico?”
“Actually, I was born there.” Stupid, why did he say that. Noting the look in the teacher’s eye and observing her faint smile, he braced himself. He knew this look, this smile, it was one he gave too often himself, when he was about to relinquish the strain of being in the spotlight to someone else.
“Well, why don’t you come up here and tell us about it?”
“Stand up.”
“Yes.”
“But, I mean I’ve known most of these people for years,” he paused at the inadvertent lie but not for long, “they’ve all probably heard about it a million times.”
“Notwithstanding, I would like to hear about it.”
Out of ideas, he had no choice but to stand. He swung his long legs out the side of his seat, wondering how he had gotten himself into this. He quickly surveyed the crowd. Sweeping back the silky black locks that had fallen over eyes, as was their habit, he stood self-conscience of his 5’9” stature. Looking down at his apparel, he was glad that he’d opted to wear his black khakis, matching loafers, and red crew neck sweater. He basically wore the same thing everyday- jeans were not a part of his wardrobe; he kept khaki’s, loafers, and an array of sweaters and shirts.
“Hi, everyone.” He gave a nervous smile, his cheeks flushed an adorable crimson. “Well um, I was born in Puerto Rico, really Mayaguëz and lived there until I was six years old, that’s when my family moved here, so I don’t really remember much about the place.” His faint Puerto Rican accent asserted itself whenever he pronounced Spanish words. He stood after that, not knowing what to say. Of course he could tell them how he vacationed there some summers and all about the beaches and people and land and culture but he just wanted to sit down. The class was restless. After the initial effect of the teacher’s request wore off, the students went back to normal. Some people had resorted to throwing paper, others were talking and whispering, a few- one or two- were doing homework. Thus, after his brief statement and lengthy pause, he hurriedly sat back down. The teacher gave another attempt to get the class in order, but failing, resorted to reading a book at her desk. Retreating within himself after the public display, he began to remember vividly twelve years past.
He had only lived in the house a few days and hated it. He wanted to go home, to his real home. Not some two-story house with one tree on the front lawn of a street whose name he couldn’t even read. He prayed and cried and fought to go back home, but to none avail. His parents knew America would offer him opportunities more than he could ever dream of in Puerto Rico. They did everything they could to assuage him, bringing him special treats and new toys, but nothing could content him, not until the day he went to the supermarket. He was shuffling along, tripping up the path alongside his mother whose one step equaled five of his own when he saw a little girl. She had on a lavishly beautiful yellow dress, with yellow hair ribbons to match, and white tights with yellow shoes. She was walking to the car with her mother chatting all the while when she stopped, noticing the unfamiliar presence. She slipped her hand from her mother’s and slowly walked the five paces that separated her from Miguel, who had stopped likewise to look at her in her odd apparel. He could never forget how she walked right up to him and said, “I like your shoes.” Looking directly into her eyes, he felt better and did not miss his real home so much. His mother stooping down to meet her, asked in a sugary voice, “And who is this beautiful young lady?” It surprised Miguel who knew his mother to have an impatient air and be coarse more often than sweet.
“My name is Kami.” Her voice was small and sweet, happy, but intelligent.
“Yes, and hi, I’m Mrs. Johnson, her mother,” she said placing a hand on Kami’s shoulder, “You must be our new neighbors. Nice to meet you.” Kami’s mother held out her hand.
Accepting it, “Yes. I’m Mrs. Alonzo-Ramirez. This is Miguel. We’ve just moved here from Puerto Rico.” She had a thick Spanish accent but her English seemed to be immaculate.
“Well I hope you like America.”
“So far it’s been fantastic. Not to be rude but we really must be on our way. We have so much to get in order. He’s six so I have to see about enrolling him in school before it starts and with all the moving…,” sighing, “My husband and I just have so much to do. Actually, we were just on our way to the supermarket.”
“Oh, well, I won’t keep you but maybe you could come over later and have tea. Kami’s six also, so the kids can get acquainted.”
“That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Mrs. Johnson.”
They exchanged smiles for what seemed the millionth time and finally Miguel and his mother were off again, on their way to the supermarket. Yet, for once, Miguel didn’t bug his mother with questions of why they had to come here and when they were going home, but rather was talking nonstop about the girl in the yellow dress.
The bell rang snapping him out of his reverie.

****************

Hearing the bell, Kami glanced over at Jason for twentieth time that hour. She completed her quiz in just enough time but throughout Jason seemed to be struggling. His expression was grim, her brow furrowed. She decided to wait for him outside the class. Nervous excitement began to build up as she watched her class pour out the doors. Every possible scenario of what could happen when he emerged from the classroom ran through her mind. Suddenly, one came rushing in of Charmaine coming to meet him,and leaving with him arm in arm, after engaging in a deep kiss with him, while he left Kami standing there alone after she had just poured her heart out to him. That did it. She turned to leave.
“Jason!” She shrieked as she ran into him while trying to turn in the crowd of people coming towards her from the classroom.
“Hey.” His voice was flat.
Flustered and embarrassed, she blanked out. After an awkward silence, she shook herself. “Um, sorry, I kind of blanked, it’s the end of the day so my brain sort of shuts down.” Great, now he would think she was a ditz. “Um, so how’d you do? On the quiz I mean.”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.”
“Oh.” What to say now? She thought desperately. “Well, I’m sure you did well even if my tutoring skills are just about nonexistent. You’re smart.”
“No, you were an excellent tutor. Thank you.” His voice was so low, so sweet, so sincere it made Kami want to curl up inside and bask in perpetual joy. She blushed at the compliment.
“So, um, I wanted to tell you, about Friday, I don’t have anything planned.”
“Cool. So it’s a date. All right, the movie starts at 8:30, it’s Sightless Seasons. Is that cool or is there anything you wanted to see?”
“No, no, that’s fine.”
“All right so I’ll see you tomorrow at 7?”
“Yeah.”
At that Jason disappeared so lithely and stealthily in the mass of people overflowing the halls, Kami had the wonder if he had really been there and she hadn’t imagined the whole episode.
**********
“Have you seen Amana?”
“No, I thought she was with you.”
“I haven’t seen her since lunch.” Kami thought back to their earlier conversation and began to panic.
“Well, she might’ve just went downstairs to grab a slice before the line got too long.”
“No, no… she’s just started on another one of her health kicks and pizza’s not on the menu.” She couldn’t overreact knowing Miguel would know something was up. “Look, she probably left with Troy or something. It’s no big deal. Let’s just go and I’ll call her when I get home and see what’s up.” Kami was worried but she hoped it didn’t show.
“Yeah…okay.” Miguel said hesitantly, sensing something was up. “Look, my mom wanted me to run by the market and pick up some things for dinner.”
“Okay, that’s fine, I need to pick up a few things myself.”
“Alright, I just have to get a few more things—“
“—Miguel it’s a half day tomorrow, I know you aren’t going to stress over homework tonight. Why not just leave your books here and—“
“Kami, you know how my mom feels about my education.”
“It was worth a shot. Ready?”

*************
Breathlessly, she flung herself on the couch. Amana was grateful her dad was at work. She couldn’t deal with him with everything else she had going on. The run had done her well; she made up her mind about a lot of things. Most importantly, it was time to tell everyone the truth, starting with Troy. If I am pregnant, I can’t hide it for long and this rape thing is killing me, maybe some support from my friends is what I need. She picked up the phone and hesitated, holding it for what seemed like an eternity before she dialed the first number. A tear slid down her cheek at each successive dial. Then she listened, holding her breath. The phone rang one time…two times…three times…four times…her heart stopped and she replaced the phone in the cradle.
“Hello. Amana is this you? Hello.” Troy having had trouble reaching his cell, answered in the middle of the fourth ring. He checked the caller I.D. “That was Amana.” He quickly hit the redial button but not quickly enough. Just as Amana’s phone began to ring, she shut the door, on her way to the drugstore.

*************
“Remind me never to go shopping two weeks before Thanksgiving.”
On November 11, St. Albans was not only coated with snow, but also teeming with shoppers swarming stores for the best deals on their Thanksgiving foods. As crystalline snowflakes fell lightly on the blanket of sparkling snow coating the ground, shoppers hurriedly busied past Kami and Miguel. Cars overflowed the parking lot and Miguel had had to park across the street in front of a drugstore.
“Okay, so what’re we looking for?”
“Well, it’s my night to cook so I was thinking of maybe a spicy Nikêsà.”
“Ooh, what’s the occasion?”
“Nothing, I just feel like cooking.”
“Well you’re making me jealous. I want to join you guys for dinner.”
He laughed.
“No seriously, you know I think you’re the best cook in the world albeit you have the quirkiest, strangest taste in food.”
He knew it was true and he might even build a career on it, but for now, he stuck to cooking dinner for his family once a week. “Well you know you’re always welcome to come over.”
“If you’re making Nikêsà, spicy Nikêsà, I might just have to take you up on that offer. You know how I love spicy foods.” She said while tossing the cayenne pepper into their shopping basket.
“Actually that’s what gave me the inspiration. I know how you love Nikêsà and spicy foods, so I thought, how about putting the two together. I just hope my family’ll like it.”
“Well, I don’t see how they can’t, you’re making it, but if they don’t, I’m sure they won’t mind me stuffing myself.”
“So that means you’re coming. Great. Now where’s that shredded cheese?”

*************
Amana walked into the drugstore nervously. She quickly surveyed the isles and wished she hadn’t come alone.
She took a deep breath. “Well I’m here now so I might as well get this over with.”
After looking for about five minutes, she grabbed a few boxes and went to the checkout counter.
“That’ll be six dollars and forty eight cents.” The store clerk chirped.
She felt ashamed, embarrassed. Pulling out exact change, she kept her head bowed.
“Thank you and have a nice day.” The clerk recited, handing Amana her contents in a brown paper bag.
She mumbled what the clerk took as a reply and quickly shuffled out the door.

*************
After shopping for about a half hour, Kami and Miguel walked over to Miguel’s sweet sixteen present, a red BMW, and loaded the backseat up with vegetables, ground beef, cheese, yogurt, and an excess of junk food among other things. Preparing to leave, they buckled their seatbelts.
“Wait!” Kami said turning her head towards the drugstore. “There’s Amana.”
Miguel turned and saw a dejected Amana scurrying out of the store, clutching a brown paper bag. “What’s wrong with her?” He asked, turning the car off and jumping out to meet her.
She quickly tried to hide her tears. “Oh, hey Miguel. What’s up?” She tried to sound normal but couldn’t pull it off.
“Amana, what’s going on? What’s wrong? You’re crying.”
“Oh, um, well, this is nothing, I was just—“
“Amana, why don’t you get in the car and we’ll take you home. We can talk about it later if you want.” Kami threw Miguel a Don’t Argue With Me On This look. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that look.
“Yeah, Kami’s right. Look let’s get you home and don’t worry whatever it is, everything will be okay.” Miguel stepped right into the role and then went about moving the groceries into the trunk of the car.
“You want front seat or back?” It was all Kami could think to say. She didn’t know what to do, what to say, how to help.
“Back is fine.” She said a weak and barely audible whisper.
“Okay. Whatever you want.” Kami’s voice was low and sad, as gave Amana a brief hug and opened the car door for her.

*************
“I’ve got to go over there and find out what’s going on.”
Troy had tried to call Amana three more times since her call, with no luck. Pacing the floor of his apartment, he tried for the millionth time to figure out what was going on. Is she sick? Is she seeing someone else? Does she want to break up? Maybe something about her mother is bothering her? He thought of every possible problem he could think of.
“Okay, this is crazy. This is crazy. Okay. Pull it together. I just need to go over there and find out what’s up.” He grabbed his jacket and keys and ran out the apartment to his black Escort. As he put the car in gear, he began to remember.
*************

Miguel pulled into Amana’s driveway and parked the BMW.
“Hey, if you want to be alone we understand. We don’t have to stay.” Kami offered as Amana fumbled with her keys to unlock the door.
“No, no, it’s fine. I need to talk to you guys.”
They filed in silently. Miguel was worried. He had never seen Amana like this, had never heard her sound so serious.
“I um-“ she was fidgeting. “I have to tell you guys something.” The tears were coming fast and she couldn’t stop them, and she didn’t know if she wanted to stop them. “I um-“ she struggled to let the words out and she felt as if her heart was in an iron grip. As she opened her mouth to begin again.
“Um, Kami… could you tell Miguel what’s going on. I mean about what we discussed earlier. You know? Um… while I go and confirm it. I mean—“
“It’s okay, I know what you mean.”
“Amana gave a small grateful smile and putting on a brave face, headed for the bathroom, still clutching the brown paper bag.
“You know what’s going on?” Miguel was a little hurt that he was left out but now wasn’t the time to get into it. Right now, he needed to know what was going on.
“Well, sort of.” She hesitated wondering what to say next. “Well, before lunch she took me into the bathroom and told me, um, told me, that she um thought she might be—“
“Don’t say it. You’re not serious.”
“She thinks she’s pregnant.” The words rushed out in a well of emotion and Miguel was stricken. He thought back years and years, skimming memories, and stopped at his first recollection of her. He was sitting alone when he decided he wanted to play to with the cars and trains. Although, he had been in kindergarten for a week now, he had not made any friends. Kami was the only person he considered a friend and he vaguely wondered if his mom would take him over to her house to play after school. That was the way things had went most of the summer. A few days a week, either he would come over to her house to play or she to his. Right now, she was over in a corner with some other girls giggling over something. It crossed his mind to go over there but then he thought better of it; besides, he was looking for those cars. After surveying the room and not sighting any automobiles, he approached the teacher.
“Excuse me. I want to play with the cars but I can’t find ‘em.”
She glanced at the young boy and quickly surveyed the room. “They’re over there in the corner. It looks like the girls are playing with them. Why don’t you go and ask if they would share?” She had been trying to encourage him to interact more with the other children and thus far, she was unsuccessful. He gave her a pleading look. “Go ahead.” He still hesitated. “Would you like me to go with you?” He nodded his head while making an “uh huh” sound.
As they crossed the short distance separating them from the other children, she tried again. “Are you sure you want me to come with you? I mean, you’re such a big boy and all I thought you might want to do it yourself.” He hesitated at this. “Yes. I can do it myself.” He was trying to gather all the courage he possessed. He conceded a bit too late though: they had already reached the group. She glanced at him and he fixed his eyes on the ground.
“Hey you guys. What are you playing over here?” She asked in her too sugary sweet way.
“Dolls.” One of the girls absently responded.
“Well that sounds like fun.” She sounded interested. “Well, girls, Miguel here wanted to know if you wouldn’t mind sharing something with him.” She paused, giving him space. “Miguel, go ahead.”
“I wanted to play cars and trains.”
“Well, we’re using all the cars and trains to drive around our dolls and we don’t have any extra so you just have to play something else.” This was Charmaine, being snooty as was her style.
Just as Miss Parker was about to lecture on sharing and friendliness, Kami piped up, “Be quiet Charmaine. Miguel if you want some of our cars you can have some.” He was silent and a single moment passed when Amana added, “But we would really like for you to come and play with us.” She smiled at him and it was then he felt accepted. Although he didn’t like dolls, he sat down, feeling completely at home; he, Kami, and Amana were best friends ever since. And now, this until, in which he was a part, was crumbling. Of course, he believed they could overcome this, they had to, and if they didn’t, who could. It was then he knew what he would have to do. Amana was his friend above everything and as such he would be there for her. Then he thought of Troy. He couldn’t let his thoughts dwell too long on the person who was destroying Amana’s life. They were a serious couple yes, but marriage was far from the picture from what he understood. Troy would have to pay child support; maybe Amana would have to drop out of school. No, he couldn’t let that happen, even if they had to petition the school to open up an in-school daycare. Anyway, that would all come in time, right now he had to focus his attention on the present crisis at hand.
“Is she sure?”
“Well, earlier she just said she thought she was. I think she’s taking a test now.”
After that they sat in silence, each embracing their own thoughts, wondering what life with a pregnant Amana would bring.
Shakily, a pale Amana emerged from the bathroom. “Listen, I want to talk to you guys.” Her voice trembled. Her hands were clammy and her mouth was dry as she began to fidget with the emerald pendant hanging from the chain around her neck, a chain Troy bought her for their one-year anniversary.
“Um, something happened.” She knew she had to continue but somehow the words wouldn’t form on her lips.

***********
He was nervous. Pulling up and seeing Miguel’s car hadn’t helped. Obviously, she was pushing only him away so something was going on. He took a breath. “I’m a man. Whatever this is about, I’m cool. I mean, even if it is serious, it’s cool. Let me just get this over with.
************
The doorbell rang.
The tension in the room was thick; they jumped. Amana looked absently towards the door, tears clouding her vision. Kami hesitated. She tried to ask Amana if she wanted her to take care of whoever it was but Amana had retreated into a cocoon. She went to the door.
“Troy!”
“I need to talk to Amana.”
“Um you do, I know, but I don’t know if this is the best time. I’ll ask her.”
“We need to talk now.” He demanded, making a motion to brush past her.
Kami held her ground. “Listen, Troy, a lot of stuff is going down right now and you’re a part of it, but listen, everything is Amana’s call right now. Hold on, I’ll get her, just don’t come in. I don’t know what seeing you will do to her.” Suddenly Kami felt like she had stumbled into an adult world in which she knew nothing. She knew she was way in over her head and didn’t know what to do, how to handle anything.
“What is Amana going through?” she muttered morosely.
“Um, Amana honey, “ she said sitting beside her, “Troy is here to see you. He wants to talk to you.”
Amana seemed to be someplace else. Somewhere where she couldn’t see or hear what was going on in the real world. Her eyes glazed over as they shifted aimlessly towards Kami. Kami sharply caught her breath. She had never seen so much hurt and pain in anyone’s eyes, so much loneliness and sorrow, especially in Amana’s eyes, which always glowed and sparkled with life and joy. It was then she began to understand the sheltered world she had always lived in.
Miguel had simply been looking on, lost in his thoughts, not knowing what to think and feel, waiting for the worst of news to dawn. Now he went into action. Kami was trying to comfort Amana; he needed to set things in order. He strode towards the door, inept in this area.
He motioned for Troy, who was between the screen and main door, to step completely outside. He was not being cooperative.
“Look, we need to talk.” Miguel’s tone was so no-nonsense and authoritative, Troy stepped out. “Right now Amana can’t talk to anyone. She is really hurting. Look, I don’t know all of what’s going on but I think she was going to let us know before you came. I know you care about her and want to help her but honestly I don’t think you’re what she needs right now. She just needs her friends and when she’s ready for you, she will come to you. If you really care about her, respect that.” They stood facing each other for awhile, neither willing to concede.
“All right. All right. Just… just let her know I love her and I miss her and I’m here for her, okay?”
“Yeah sure.”
“Take care of her for me.”
Miguel nodded as Troy retreated.
Inside, Kami had reached Amana.
“That was Troy?” She spoke directly to Miguel.
“Um, yeah. You guys—“
“Thank you.” She put all her energy into those two words and Miguel said no more.
They heard Troy’s car drive off and as Miguel sat, she began again.
“The test was positive. I’m pregnant.” A small smile crossed her face, then faded as blackness seemed to cover her. “The baby might not be Troy’s.” She wanted to stop but she willed herself to continue. “I was raped.” Even as she said the words, she faltered. “I um, I was, um…” She began to sob and both Kami and Miguel ran to her side and held her. “I’m sorry, I know I should have called someone but it was a nice night and the walk wasn’t long…” she broke down again. “I’m sorry. I tried to call someone when it started to get dark but that when…” “Shh. It’s okay. It’s all right. Don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault.” Miguel rocked her as Kami rubbed her back. “It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.” Kami had a brief feeling of déjà vu as she remembered their earlier conversation. And she felt just as helpless as she had earlier, even more so. She knew things would never be the same. Not ever. With Amana and Troy, with their group, even with her and Miguel, and what about Amana’s father. “Don’t worry, everything will work out.” She comforted, pushing aside all the thoughts and feelings that were telling her otherwise.
*********
For the second time, Amana had fallen asleep in the arms of friends. As she slept, Miguel and Kami exchanged fleeting looks and dared not share the distressing thoughts preoccupying their minds.
“What are we going to do?” Miguel whispered, finally breaking the silence.
“I honestly don’t know.” Kami responded shaking her head as she wondered the same thing.
“Earlier, Troy told me to tell Amana he loved her.”
Kami took the revelation in. “I suppose it’s true. I think she loves him too.”
“She hasn’t told you yet?”
“We haven’t discussed it lately. Ever since the end of summer, I guess that’s when everything happened… she’s been a little distant especially about them.” Kami was pensive. “I guess I should have known something serious was going on. Maybe I didn’t want to see the signs.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
Amana stirred. “Oh, you guys didn’t have to stay with me.”
“Yes we did.” Miguel went into protective mode.
“Thank you.”
“Girl, you know if you need anything, we’re here.” It was all Kami could think to say but she sincerely meant it.
“I know. Thanks.” She embraced Kami in a small hug, then Miguel.
Kami didn’t want to bring more stress and worry but she knew she had to bring up the subject. “When is your dad getting home?”
Everyone knew what she was saying.
“I haven’t told him yet, but I you guys don’t have to be here when I do. I can manage.”
Miguel was unconvinced. “You know we’re here for you in any way you need us.”
“Yeah I know, but this is something I have to do alone.”
“Are you going to tell him everything?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. It’s just good to know I have some support. I’m really scared of not telling him, because I don’t know what he’ll do about Troy. But I really don’t think I can tell him. And besides, it won’t matter anyway because the baby is Troy’s.”
“I thought you didn’t know.”
“It’s his, trust me. I couldn’t even imagine… no, it’s his. I know it is.”
“But don’t you think you should go to the doctor and find out when it was conceived?”
“Look, Miguel, I know you’re concerned about me and I appreciate that but trust me, you don’t have to worry. I don’t need a test. It’s Troy’s. That’s it.”
“But—“
Kami threw Miguel such a scornful glance, his jaws clamped shut.
“You’re right Amana. Um, well, if you don’t need us any longer, we’ll leave. But call us if you need anything. Okay?”
“Okay. Thanks girl.”
“Of course. And Amana, talk to Troy—he loves you.” Amana’s eyes grew wide at that and she withdrew into herself and became very thoughtful. Kami and Miguel left her then.

************
TBC...

please offer me some feedback b/c I actually want to publish this book and I don't want you to be nice i want you to be honest, critique me as hard as you can b/c that is what will make me a writer and the writer of an international bestseller. i'll update as often as possible so please check back and see how it develops...

Thanks for reading,

Danyel
(sweetheart)