Letter from Lucifer

Dear God,

Hi, just wondering if you've been watching all the commotion down there on earth? 'Your people' are still trying to force everyone to their way of thinking. A few of them are okay. But the majority? All they seem to do is bomb each other to death. They just don't seem to listen to a word you say really. Which is a pity. they would all probably be better off if they did.

But I gotta say you got it better than me. At least some of them treat you with respect down there. I, on the other hand apparently have nothing better to do than possess little girls and make them barf split pea soup. Please, I have a life.

The other day I found a copy of that bible lying around and I flipped though it. Wow, that’s really not a nice book. How on earth is it so popular? You really don’t come off like a nice guy in that book. All you seem to do is smite people. When was the last time you smited someone?
Jesus comes across pretty good though. They did screw a few things up there too though. Like they say that Jesus was a guy! That must piss her off. As if a guy could be the saviour of mankind!
Actually it isn't very women friendly at all. Gotta say that the Goddess isn't happy about that. How come every women in there is either evil or in league with me. (Apparently I am the very epitome of evil! Me!)

When are you going come down and visit? I know you're busy but I think we both need a break. You haven't been down here for ages. I've just put in a nice new heated pool that the Witches seem to like. And next week were having a costume party. I hope you can be there for that.
Well, I guess I'd better get back to work. No rest for the wicked (!)

Give all my love to Aphrodite and Ra.


Love,
Lucifer.