Part 46: Hope

Note: This item has been rewritten and edited. All text in rose is BRAND NEW MATERIAL for this chapter of the story. In addition there are many minor changes to the original text itself. Please enjoy this new, expanded version of Part 46 and be on the lookout for updates to the next parts!


GENERAL MAHAKHI HAD been busy all the day. He had to speak several times alone with Lieutenant Tas'eta and Sergeant Binena, as it appeared that the two strange Kana were intending to spend a little time among his tribe, a decision which caught him offguard and rather irritated him. He hated the thought of housing them under his roof, no matter what Tas'eta's relation to Nehekhi-Kana; they struck him as too much like...competition. He sullenly thought over what their departure would mean, every time he passed the Moru quarters, but told himself not to dwell on it. Seeing as Nehekhi had never mentioned the young Kana, he could only assume that he had not believed he would make the journey to the tribe. As such, his father's Moru were his own. Mahakhi had never been one to quibble over other people's Moru.

Then again, he had never known any other Moru quite so well...

He scowled as he walked. Such emotions as were now warring in his head should have been beneath him.

He rounded the corner of the hallway he now walked, on his way to yet another meeting with yet another Kana, and strode so briskly, his thoughts so preoccupied, that he barely even took notice of the lieutenant leaning against one of the columns. He abruptly stood straight and saluted as Mahakhi came near, and the general nodded sharply before moving on. He saw the other Kana blink, then hurry to follow. He appeared at Mahakhi's side and the big Kana nearly scowled again.

"I do not have time for interruptions or delays, Lieutenant," he growled.

"I realize, Lord, so I intend to take up only one moment of your time," the lieutenant said hastily. "I wished only for a word, before you go--then I'll bother you no longer, I swear it."

Mahakhi at last halted and let out a gusty sigh, turning to face him. The other Kana looked vaguely familiar but he couldn't place his face, nor did he care to. "Very well. Make it quick, as I have more important matters to tend to."

"Yes, Lord." The lieutenant saluted him again. "I do not know if you recall me--my name is Lieutenant Taka--"

"And where I would know you from?"

"I served the household of Captain Nehekhi, Lord, as his first lieutenant..."

Mahakhi blinked. He looked Lieutenant Taka up and down, then his wings slowly lowered and he let out his breath. "Oh...yes, I recall you now. I apologize...I did not know Nehekhi's men very well."

Taka nodded. "I realize this, Lord, and I understand. I have not been about the household very much lately..."

Mahakhi shut his eyes and made a face. "That is right--I never granted any of you new positions," he said, remembering, and grimaced. "I apologize profusely for this, Lieutenant; my mind was preoccupied with other matters. Please forgive me." He opened his eyes and glanced back toward his rooms. "If you would not mind waiting a bit, until I am done, then I will see to it immediately that each of you receives a proper post within the household...I wish only that you had nudged me about it sooner, I hate that I made you all wait so long..."

"Actually, Lord..." Taka rubbed at his neck. "I speak only for myself...though I believe the rest of Lord Nehekhi's men have already found themselves replacement positions. I actually wished to ask that I might be relieved from your house completely."

Mahakhi blinked, then his brow furrowed. "Relieved...?" he echoed, perplexed.

Taka nodded; the look on his face showed that he must have been considering this for quite some time. He took a breath as if carefully choosing his words. "I am leaving the military, Lord, so I thought it would be proper if I asked leave of your household as well. So that you do not believe I have gone absent without leave."

The general's brow only furrowed further. "You are leaving the military--?" He shook his head to clear it. "There is any particular reason for this, Lieutenant--? If there is anything I or any of my men did to prompt this action, or any way we may remedy it--"

Taka was already shaking his head. "No, Lord; please be assured it has nothing to do with any dissatisfaction with your house. It...it is for personal reasons that I wish to quit the military. Nothing of any great importance. I wished only that you might grant me leave so my record may remain clear; and then I will trouble your household no longer."

"You have not troubled me in the least," Mahakhi insisted, but nodded just the same. "Very well...if you will not mind waiting until the morning, I will sign you off and grant you your leave. You wish to keep your rank and title?"

Taka opened his mouth, then paused. He rubbed at his neck again, looking somewhat meek; Mahakhi could tell he had not considered that option, at least. "I will leave the title upon your contract," Mahakhi answered for him, "just in case you should ever change your mind. You may keep your title, whether you wish to use it or not. I am certain you fully earned it. Nehekhi-Kana would not have chosen an inferior Kana as his first lieutenant."

Taka let out his breath. "Yes, Lord...thank you."

"You have any plans for what you should do now that you are a civilian?" Mahakhi asked, cocking his head curiously. "Again, there are plenty of positions within my own house that could use a good Kana to fill them, if need be..."

The lieutenant shook his head again. "No thank you, Lord...I already have some thoughts as to what I should do. I...merely need a rest from the military, for now. I have already spoken with a few of the merchants in town and there is a blacksmith looking for an assistant; I thought perhaps I would see what I might offer there. If not this, then there are other options."

Mahakhi nodded again. "Very true...I am certain there are many who would be more than willing to take in a skilled Kana such as yourself. You will not ever be in any need of a place to stay, at least." He held out his arm, and Taka looked at it for a moment before offering his own; Mahakhi clasped it and the younger Kana flushed. "Best of luck be with you, then, Brother." Taka's ears went even redder at the title; generals did not usually refer to lieutenants as "Brother." "Know that you will always have a place here should you change your mind."

Taka nodded and saluted once more. "I do not believe I will...yet thank you anyway, Lord. I am honored to have served this tribe." He turned and started to walk away up the hallway; Mahakhi frowned a little. He had expected the other Kana's step to be lighter, now that he'd had his request granted; yet the lieutenant still seemed preoccupied, his wings slumped and his head hanging slightly. His frown grew, then he lifted his head to call out to him before he could disappear.

"I am sorry for your loss, Lieutenant. We all are."

Taka's step faltered just briefly before he continued walking, as if not even having heard. The gesture would have been disrespectful at any other time; yet now Mahakhi cared little for proper form. He sighed to himself instead, then gave his head a quick shake, and continued on his own way.

Such emotions were beneath him. He had better things to do.

* * * * *

Captain Tas'hukh could not find Private Ri'hus, not even after making a circuit of Mahakhi's entire household. Inquiring of the guards informed him that the private had not yet shown himself, and so he frowned as he left the house and wandered back up the street. Where could he have gone to in such a short time? Surely he would speak with the general before leaving the tribe...? To not do so would be to go absent without leave, no matter whether he had resigned before his barracks lieutenant or not. Only the general could give his final say on whether an enlisted Kana could quit the tribe; and based on what little he knew of the private, he was not the sort of Kana who would just run away without clearing his obligations. Was he...?

He mused over how little he actually knew of the young Kana as he walked. A dim part of his mind told him that he was being foolish for even thinking of the plan he was considering following, yet he ignored it as much as he ignored the pain in his knee; it was not as if he had anything better to do with his time, anyway.

He slowed his step to look at the taverns. He hated their boisterous atmosphere, the way that otherwise decent soldiers would forget all their dignity and act like utter fools after a little bit of drink; yet Lieutenant Tefkha had said to meet him here, if he wished to learn more about Ri'hus. Tas'hukh paused and chewed his lip, then wrinkled his muzzle with disgust when a round of bawdy singing echoed from one of the buildings. He'd never much understood the desire of some Kana to get stinking drunk, anyway.

He forced himself to step up to one of the taverns, pushing upon the door and entering. Khesa's, the most popular tavern in the tribe, was as always full to the brim, lieutenants and sergeants and privates and civilians alike all chattering and crowing raucously as they sipped at their beers. There was some curious gabbling as soon as they noticed him, for captains did not often deign to enter such premises, and even when they did, he was not known to be one of them; he ignored the chattering, and within moments they lost interest in him, returning to their self-absorbed talk. He glanced around, ears flaring in irritation, deciding it would probably be best if he simply left before a voice called out from across the room and caught his attention.

"Hai! Captain! Come over and introduce yourself so you are not such a stranger anymore!"

Tas'hukh's head jerked to the side and he at last noticed Lieutenant Tefkha seated near the back corner, a crowd of lesser soldiers around him, all of them looking his way while their lieutenant waved. Tas'hukh had to keep himself from scowling at how obvious they were, before nudging his way to the back of the room. The others cheered when he sat down near them, wincing at his knee; he almost jumped when Tefkha planted his hand upon his shoulder and leaned toward him, addressing the rest of the Kana in their group.

"Now this, men, is what is known as a captain," he said matter-of-factly. "Imprint him upon your memories, for with the way you fellows train, you will likely never see a pair of red lappets ever again in your lifetimes." And he took a drink as the rest of them crowed again, quite goodnaturedly despite the insult. Tas'hukh suppressed another scowl.

"I wished to speak to you of Private Ri'hus," he stated, fighting to keep the disgust from his voice.

Tefkha made a face and downed the rest of his drink. "Ah, you are a dullard! No wonder you keep your face out of taverns, you would quickly deaden everything and everybody within them!" He waved at the other Kana with them. "Go on, I have to speak with him in private now. It's boring stuff--nothing that would make any of you piss all over yourselves in asinine glee."

The other soldiers booed but got to their feet, staggering off to other parts of the room as best as they could. Tas'hukh took this chance to slide away from Tefkha somewhat, so they faced each other across the low table; the lieutenant noticed the motion and his ear cocked, his mouth twitching in amusement.

"What's the matter, Captain, you do not enjoy my company?" he asked, pouring himself another cup of beer from the jar.

Tas'hukh didn't bother hiding the look from his face this time. "I did not come here for your company. I wished to discuss Private Ri'hus, as I wish to know the details of why he would be leaving the tribe, and what perhaps this has to do with you or the barracks."

Tefkha snorted and took a drink. "It has precious little to do with me, I'll have you know. I fail to see even why you bothered stopping by. I probably know as little as you do."

"Pretend for a moment that I know even less than this, and get on with it."

The barracks lieutenant shrugged. "This should be easy enough. Very well. All I know is that Ri'hus came to me earlier today asking to be allowed to leave the barracks. I thought he meant he was going to be training then at home, or with a sponsor, though when I asked him of this he informed me I was mistaken. Apparently he is leaving the military, and the tribe, completely. I did make certain to ask him for a reason, and to let him know that his father would likely not be happy to learn he would be squandering his funds by dropping out, but he told me his father was no longer part of the picture." Tefkha took a drink. "I rather assumed that to mean that he has lost his funding. I cannot think of any other reason why a father would not mind his son dropping out of training so early."

"I had thought he had been training for a while now."

"True, yet he has not reached any higher rank, nor moved up into a higher division. His skills are just minimal. He is not good at swordfighting, and he is not good at sparring with an opponent."

Tas'hukh frowned. "You, his supposed trainer, so blithely state that he is hopeless?"

Tefkha shook his head as he sipped. "I said no such thing, Lord. I only speak the truth. I will hardly go praising a Kana for skills he simply does not have." He lowered his cup. "This is the one thing I can say to his credit, that he kept trying for so long. Truthfully, I am surprised he did not ask to drop out much sooner. He's had some difficulties with the other Kana in the barracks and with all of the things he has gone through lately, it is a wonder he has kept at it as long as he has."

"Difficulties--?"

Another shrug. "I do not know the full details, Lord. Merely that not that long before the trial, Lieutenant Resikh came to speak with him, and afterwards informed me that he was having trouble sleeping. Apparently some trouble from the other Kana." He raised a brow. "If you ask me, it is pretty obvious what that trouble was. So I made certain a better watch was kept over the barracks and as far as I can tell, the 'trouble' did not repeat itself. Still," and he took another drink, "his skills in fighting did not improve. I guess there was some event back at home, for he was still trying right up until today."

"What state was he in when he spoke with you?"

"He was upset, clearly, yet in his right mind. He was not hysterical if that is what you are asking. I do not know much more. I did hear Lord Resikh speaking with him again outside the gate just after he departed, but I did not hear all the details. He did use the word sen'akhai a few times though." Another sip. "An assault trial, trouble sleeping, losing his funding, and sen'akhai...you can fill in the rest however you like."

"So he is leaving because of this?" Tas'hukh asked. "He is not seeking funding elsewhere?"

"He did ask me if I knew of any who would be willing to take on a trainee, though truthfully, Lord, I had to tell him I knew of none, especially not of any who would take on a trainee with so few skills." When Tas'hukh glared at him his ear twitched. "You would have me lie, and tell him that yes, sponsors would be falling over themselves seeking him out--? I saw how his eyes looked, Lord, and I will hardly go adding to his disappointments. He has had quite enough."

"You are his trainer," Tas'hukh scowled. "You are the one supposed to be seeing to it that he does have skills to make use of!"

Tefkha let out a great sigh and rolled his eyes. "Oh, for love of the gods. A trainer, no matter how good he may be, can hardly make use of what is simply not there! Believe me, Lord, when he first entered the army, I did everything I could to try to hone his skills--but he has none! There is only so much one trainer can do, especially when the clay he has to mold is far too soft to be shaped properly."

The captain's muzzle wrinkled. "He is just a young Kana! Now without a family to return to! And you so easily dismiss him as talentless--? Every Kana has a skill! At the very least, you could have tried harder, rather than sitting on your tail in the taverns all night!"

The unconcerned look in Tefkha's eyes immediately changed, and they even grew a shade darker, his own face wrinkling into a scowl. He lowered his cup, his claws digging into the clay. "And what exactly would you have had me do--?" he demanded. "Sit on my tail and babysit him all of the time? I have two hundred trainees under my command, Captain, and hardly enough time to see to every single one of them! I've already told you of how I did try to give him special attention, yet I have only so much time and patience to do such things. Even that goes beyond the scope of my responsibilities. It is up to the trainees to try their hardest, and the trainer to see to it that they learn what they need to know. If nothing comes of this, you can hardly blame me. I did exactly what I was meant to do, and then some. I even recommended to his father that he seek private training, as I do not have the resources to undertake such a thing, yet apparently this was out of the question. And so do not set foot in here, on my off hours, and blame me for when something beyond my control goes all wrong. I have earned the right to sit here on my tail, despite what you may think. I hardly see you offering to assist me."

Tas'hukh took a breath and let it out, trying to calm the anger surging up in his breast. After all, it was only the truth; there was not much barracks lieutenants could do for individual trainees, when they had entire armies to see to. "You said that you had recommended private training to his father," he said instead, keeping his voice level. "If this is something he could have made use of, why then was it not followed through...? Surely he took your advice into consideration?"

Tefkha stared at him over the rim of his cup before lowering it again and swallowing. He shrugged, his scowl disappearing. "I do not know. I never received any response, and from what I can gather, his family is not that well off in the first place. Funding for a private trainer does not come from nowhere. And like I said, he will not go gaining any voluntary sponsors with the skills he currently possesses."

Tas'hukh was silent for a while. Tefkha finished his beer and poured another, peering off toward the group which had previously been sitting in their corner as if he wished to go sit among them again, yet he politely kept his place. When Tas'hukh looked at the jar of beer he gestured at it.

"There is plenty to go around, Lord, and I've already paid for it."

The captain merely continued staring at the jar for a moment or two, then shook his head. "No thank you. I have another question. How well do you know Ri'hus, personally?"

The lieutenant shrugged yet again. "Not very well, I admit. I make it a point to know all the pertinent details of my trainees' lives, but I do not socialize unless they should happen by the taverns. Ri'hus was not such a Kana, as you can probably guess."

"He did not go out drinking with the rest of you?"

Tefkha shook his head. "As far as I can tell he keeps mostly to himself. He does not appear to socialize."

"What then does he do in his off time?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. When he is--was--not sleeping in the barracks, or training, then I do not know what he was up to. I did catch him practicing in the barracks yard once when I had thought he was at home, but that was all."

"Practicing--?"

Tefkha made a sweeping gesture with his arm. "Swinging his sword." He chuckled. "He dropped it as soon as he saw me. And then apologized. Profusely." He took a drink and then sighed. "It's a pity that he was so lousy at everything he tried, because if every one of my trainees tried half as hard as he did, then I would be one happy barracks lieutenant. I would probably even be promoted." He raised his cup, and yelled out at the nearby group, "Captain Tefkha!" He was rewarded with a loud cheer, and everyone took a drink, then went back to their chatter, apparently not knowing or caring what they were even cheering about. Tefkha glanced back at Tas'hukh. "There is anything else, Lord--?"

Tas'hukh shook his head slowly, not much listening anymore. "No...I believe that is all. Thank you for speaking with me."

"You truly do not wish to stay here a while and keep us company--?" Tefkha prompted, gesturing at the jar and at the rowdy group nearby. "Take a few swigs of this, and soon enough you will not even remember what color your lappets are."

Tas'hukh turned toward the entrance. "Believe me, if I were to remain here it would put a damper on your amusement." He nodded at Tefkha's salute and made his way back to the door and out into the street, taking in a deep breath of cool fresh air once he was outside again. He shook off the smell of the tavern from his fur, grimacing slightly, and turned back to Mahakhi's household.

If he does not show up there soon, then he likely jumped the wall! What is keeping him--? Those guards at the main entrance had better not be shirking...

He stopped at Mahakhi's household again, questioning the guards, but they had no information to give; apparently the private had not yet been there. Tas'hukh fumed to himself as he walked back down the street. Where could he be by now? It had been quite a while since he'd spoken with Resikh, which must have been right after the private had left the barracks to speak with the general; what could be holding him? He paced a few times, then stopped outside one of the taverns, and had to ask a few times where Ri'hus might live; most of those he questioned did not know, though he finally received an answer, and headed in that direction. It was not long before he reached the far end of the town, where the houses were not so big or well maintained as the rest, and asked for admittance into Lieutenant Thekh'has's house. As the guard led him through the main court he thought over all that he had been told so far, and was surprised to feel an ache in his breast. He puzzled over this for a moment before recognizing the feeling as anxiety...and when he looked up at the columns as they passed, they did rather remind him of his own father's house, in a vague way...

He fought down the feeling and took several breaths to keep his head level when he was led into the main courtyard. The Kana he met here wasn't quite what he had expected; he had fully expected a big Kana, gruff and intimidating in appearance, yet the one who introduced himself as Lord Thekh'has was shorter than he was, somewhat slight in build, and quite obviously related to Ri'hus by blood. He even had the same strange blue eyes which Tas'hukh had noticed at the trial, and after bowing his head in greeting, he spoke, and his voice itself was quiet and well mannered, not harsh and grating like Tas'hukh had expected to hear. He had to pause when he realized that he had fully been expecting to meet his own father.

"I am honored that you have come to visit, Lord," Lieutenant Thekh'has said. "We do not receive many guests such as yourself. Though I must confess I was not expecting any visitors...if there is anything I can do to help you...?"

Tas'hukh blinked and nodded. "I apologize for stopping in so late...but I appear to be at a loss. I was wondering if you should be able to point me out to where your son, Private Ri'hus, has gone to. I cannot seem to find him anywhere tonight."

Thekh'has blinked in seeming surprise, then a vaguely unpleasant expression settled upon his otherwise handsome face. Tas'hukh recognized the coldness in his eyes as soon as it appeared, having seen it in another pair of eyes so long ago. "I apologize, Lord...but Private Ri'hus no longer resides here. He left earlier this eve and will not be returning."

A bite of anger nipped at Tas'hukh's heart, and he had to suppress a scowl. He kept his voice neutral, even managing to feign mild surprise. "There is a reason I will not find him here?" he asked, innocently enough. "I was told this was his house..."

Thekh'has's ear flicked. "Your information is outdated, Lord...Private Ri'hus is no longer welcomed here. I am certain you do not wish to be burdened with the details; if you wish to find him, perhaps you should speak with the general, or his lieutenant. Otherwise I do not know where you will find him."

"I see." Tas'hukh nodded, then crossed his arm to his breast; Thekh'has immediately saluted. "I apologize for bothering you, then. I am certain I will find him somewhere."

"Best of luck to you, Lord. I apologize that I could not be of more help."

"I believe you have been of more than enough help," Tas'hukh said. Then, unable to restrain himself, he added, "Though admittedly, it is rather too bad that you did not help the one who actually needed it. Perhaps I will see to this myself."

He saw the other Kana's eyes go wide, just before he turned away and strode out of the courtyard and back through the main hall without another word. He was out in the street before he even noticed how hard his heart was beating, and how his claws were digging into his palms; he forced himself to stop and take another breath. His wings shook.

I felt ready to tear his head from his shoulders. I barely even know that Kana. For all I know he is an otherwise decent man. And I felt ready and willing to murder him. What sort of thoughts am I getting? This is no way to make myself of use.

He let out his breath and flexed his wings, then relaxed them. He would check once more at Mahakhi's house on the way back, and this time make a circuit of it, and inquire of all the guards. Then he would address those at the northern gate, just to make sure he had not left without warning. If he was gone, then there was nothing he could do. But he would give it one last shot.

It was dark out aside from the stars glittering, and the lamps burning in windows and out front of the taverns, the only Kana in the streets now those who were busy wandering from one drinking hole to the next, laughing and singing loudly as they went. Tas'hukh shivered in the chill that had settled over the city, and it made his knee hurt all the more, especially after all the day's walking. He set foot in the street and started to turn north when something caught his eye, and he halted in midstep, turning to peer over his shoulder.

He found himself staring at the training barracks.

He frowned slightly, then turned back about. This late at night, most of the trainees were likely asleep in the barracks, though some were of course busy in the taverns. He could only assume that Tefkha had set his men free for the night, seeing as they had no lieutenant to oversee them at the moment; it was common for one of the barracks areas to go empty every once in a while, so the trainees could relax. But Ri'hus was not in the taverns, not at his home, and not at Mahakhi's house, just yet.

Tas'hukh's frown grew. Barely even thinking, he started walking toward the barracks gate.

His step slowed again when he noticed that it stood just slightly ajar. There was never anything of much value to be stolen from the barracks--nothing but weapons and armor and small personal belongings, which could be gotten anywhere--though the gate was not normally left open, either. He was several paces away before he could see through the opening, and what he saw did not much surprise him by now.

A solitary Kana stood just within, his back to Tas'hukh, staring silently across the training yard. Even as Tas'hukh watched, he started to turn toward the gate, then halted, looking off to the side. Tas'hukh could just barely see his eyes in the dim lamplight. They were glassy, as if from tears, though the expression in them was one that it took him a moment to place. They looked dead.

Tas'hukh's hackles prickled and he quickly stepped into the shadows cast by the buildings off to the side as the Kana stepped out of the barracks yard, quietly closing the gate behind him and starting slowly up the street. He carried a small pack over his shoulder and his feet dragged as he went. Tas'hukh did not think he had ever seen someone's wings sink so low, and the ache flared in his breast again. His own eyes stung.

I do not believe even I looked like that, before...

He kept his place and watched as Ri'hus walked by, his walk not even a trudge, as a trudge would have implied power and force behind the steps; he almost crept along the road, as if not even wanting to be seen. Tas'hukh almost lost his nerve, and stayed in the shadows longer than he intended to, until the private sniffled and raised a hand to his face. Then Tas'hukh saw the tears welling in his eyes and trailing down his muzzle--and the soft sound the younger Kana let out rent straight through his heart. His ears flared and he stepped into the street.

"Private--?"

Ri'hus froze, wings hunching, then turned to look at him. As soon as he saw the captain approaching his eyes grew; the next thing Tas'hukh knew, he was hastily bowing, his arm to his breast and his ears flattening against his head.

"Lord!"

Tas'hukh halted, his own ears twitching; he wasn't used to such greetings, by now. Most often even his own men gave him only the most perfunctory salutes, if they bothered at all. He nodded at Ri'hus's hasty greeting and waved at him to stand straight again.

"Relax yourself, Private, we are both off duty at the moment."

Ri'hus rose from his half-bow but didn't meet his eyes. "Actually I have been looking for you all evening," Tas'hukh went on. "You will not believe how many times I had to go back and forth! Only to find you still in the barracks, after all."

Ri'hus flushed. "I...I apologize, Lord; I had no idea anyone was seeking me, otherwise I would have stayed in one place...I was just..." He trailed off and peered back at the barracks uncertainly.

Tas'hukh's eyes softened. "I know," he said, simply; Ri'hus glanced at him with a small confused frown but all Tas'hukh did was smile slightly. "I had heard that you are leaving the tribe," he said, and the private nodded.

"Yes, Lord...there has...been some difficulty lately...and so I was just on my way to speak with Lord Mahakhi, and have my contract with the army terminated."

"Your reasoning?" Tas'hukh asked, even though he pretty much knew by now.

Ri'hus looked as if he did not want to answer, yet had to, simply because of Tas'hukh's rank. "I...I have no more funding to continue training, Lord, and I am no longer welcome in my father's house...so I had thought that perhaps with a new tribe, I might get a fresh start...perhaps have more luck with funding, or training..."

Tas'hukh frowned. "Why you would think that this would be any easier with a strange tribe, Private...?"

Ri'hus's wings sank again; he looked as if he wanted to sink through the ground and disappear. "Truthfully, Lord...I do not hope too much...it is just that, I do not have any reason to stay here, anymore. So...it seemed just as good an idea as any." He paused and fidgeted a little, and Tas'hukh realized he must want to leave. How long had he been standing in the barracks just staring...? "If...if you'll excuse me then, Lord," he said at last, bowing his head with another salute, and starting to turn away.

"Hold, Private," Tas'hukh called out. Ri'hus halted, and turned his head to look back at him, brow furrowing slightly.

"Yes, Lord...?"

Tas'hukh stared at him for a moment before folding his arms. "How long have you trained among the Kana?" he asked quietly.

Ri'hus blinked. "Lord?" He frowned slightly. "Well...I entered the army quite late, Lord, just in the past year, but my father attempted to train me before this."

"So you have been training your whole life?"

"Mostly, Lord, though little it shows."

"You claim you are not skilled?"

Ri'hus flushed. He slowly turned about and rubbed at his neck. "N...no, Lord...I am not." A pause. "I had hoped to improve in time, yet this has not happened."

"You said your father will no longer pay for your training," Tas'hukh said. "You have tried asking another to sponsor you?"

"I...I did ask Lieutenant Tefkha if he knew of any, yet he does not. I...I am not much surprised, considering. If there even were any they would not take me in. A trainee has to have skills."

"Why then if you have no skills have you kept training all this time?" the captain inquired. "If you believe you have no skills, surely you realized this sooner?"

Ri'hus's face went even redder and he shrank in on himself, bowing his head so Tas'hukh couldn't see his eyes. "I...did not really have anything else to do, Lord," he murmured, his voice almost inaudible now. "Training is all I know."

A long silence drew out between them. Ri'hus started to scuff his foot at the ground but Tas'hukh ignored it. "You detested training, then...?" he asked at last, thinking of I'anen and his numerous pleas to escape the drudgery of being a trainee.

Ri'hus's head popped back up. "What--?" he blurted out, then blinked. "Of course not, Lord! I--I realize I had nothing really to offer, but--well--as long as I hoped I might get better...it...well, it gave me something to do. I do--did not mind training." He winced. "It is only that I could never do very well that convinces me it is best if I simply quit...all others seem to agree, and I do not want to be an embarrassment to the Kana." He hesitated. "Um...if that is all, Lord...?"

Tas'hukh didn't answer him. Ri'hus stared at him for so long that a furrow crossed his brow, then he tentatively started to turn away, though he kept his eyes on Tas'hukh's face as if trying to make certain whether he were excused or not. He had just turned his head when Tas'hukh spoke up once more.

"How dedicated are you to the Kana, Private?"

Ri'hus peered back at him, his eyes confused. "...Lord?"

Tas'hukh stared him in the eyes. "I asked, how dedicated are you to the Kana? Would you give your life in service to the general, if called to do so?"

Ri'hus blinked. "I...y-yes, Lord," he replied, sounding perplexed. "I would, if I were able. I have always cherished the Kana, even if I am not a good one..."

Tas'hukh drew himself up and placed his hands upon his hips. "If you were to find a suitable sponsor to fund your training, would you vow to always uphold the principles of the Kana? To train to the best of your ability, just as you have always done?"

The young Kana stared at him with wide eyes, uncomprehending. Nevertheless he nodded again, slowly.

"Y...yes, Lord. I would. Always."

Tas'hukh stared at him for a moment, trying to determine whether he was being truthful or not, before deciding that he was. There was an innocence to the private's face that he knew he must have carried himself, long ago, when first entering the esteemed ranks of the Kana army, long before his father had shattered that feeling away. He crossed his arms again now and had to strain to keep his face blank and his voice severe.

"Then if you promise to keep this vow, I will fund your training myself," he stated. "It has been a while since I have sponsored a Kana; I hope that you would not disappoint me."

The private's eyes grew bigger than he would have thought possible. He turned around completely, his pack dropping to the ground as he started stammering incoherently.

"Sp-sponsor--?" he finally managed to force out. "Y-you would sp-sponsor me--? For the K-Kana army--?"

Tas'hukh held up one hand. "This is another matter. Rather than return to barracks, I wish you to accompany me back to Lord Mahakhi's household. Lord Tefkha informed me of how you are languishing among the other soldiers, without proper guidance. I will take your training upon myself. I will serve as your sponsor and as your trainer, should you manage to uphold your end of the bargain, and train as hard as you are able. All I ask in return is that you seek to obtain your next rank before a year's time is through." He cocked an eyebrow. "Well? Do you agree to this, Private?"

The private gawked at him for a moment or two before he started stammering again. "I--y-yes, Lord! Yes!" he squeaked, and Tas'hukh's heart swelled when a wavery smile spread across his face, the tears streaming from his eyes again, unheeded this time; he had not thought one Kana could look so happy. "I'll--I promise I'll do the best I can!"

Tas'hukh finally allowed a slight smile to tug at his lips. "Very well. Pick up your belongings there, before you forget them, and bring them back to the general's house. I will find you a room to stay in. And seek out your lieutenant as well, and let him know of your change of plans. I expect to see you again within the hour. You'd best hurry; I realize it is late, but I'd like to observe your fighting technique before the night is over, and then there is dinner to attend to. You have a long difficult schedule ahead of you, training under me."

"Yes, Lord!" Ri'hus cried, and saluted. Tas'hukh's warning breezed right past him, or else he didn't care. He bowed hastily, a huge smile beaming upon his face, before grabbing his pack and racing off once more. He did turn around in midflight to slap his arm to his breast, his voice cracking as he called back. "Thank you, Lord!"--before he was on the run again, sprinting faster than Tas'hukh had ever seen anyone go. He stood and watched him disappear, his own heart feeling a little lighter, and then started slowly walking on his own way toward Mahakhi's house, the sounds of the Kana singing in the taverns no longer even drawing his attention anymore.

He is just one Kana, he thought as he went, staring absently at the road, yet somehow, if I can at least keep him going...it is not a fix for this wounded tribe...but, just perhaps, it will be enough.

* * * * *

By the time Tas'hukh reached Mahakhi's household, Ri'hus had apparently already spoken with Tefkha, for he met the youth at the entrance and the two of them went inside together. The very moment they set foot upon the steps the younger Kana was talking, his voice coming out in a rapid-fire rush of words, as if he had never even spoken with anyone before; Tas'hukh had to suppress a smile at his childish enthusiasm, all traces of his earlier despondency apparently gone. He seemed almost like a completely different Kana, now.

"My father--and Lord Tefkha, of course--they are the only ones who have ever trained me," he was saying as they made their way through the main court. "My father, I know he tried the best he could--this is why I entered the army so late, Lord, as he truly felt he could do as well with me as a barracks lieutenant could--we have never been very well off, Lord, and so it would have been cheaper to simply train me at home, than to pay for my upkeep among the army. But I was not improving much, and so some months ago he sent me to the barracks, where Lord Tefkha took over...I know that he meant well also, but there are so very many other Kana all seeking instruction, that it is easy to be overlooked...not as if I expected that he could have done much for me anyway...just so that you know, I have not ever blamed either of them..." He cut himself off and flushed, ducking his head. "Ah...I realize I must be dreadfully boring, Lord...I apologize for going on so..."

Tas'hukh shook his head. "As a matter of fact, I have not ever really held such a conversation with another Kana before." Ri'hus's face lit up. "Please, continue. You said you did not believe Lord Tefkha could do much for you?"

Ri'hus shook his head. "No, Lord...I am only one Kana, and he has so many others with more promise to see to...there is only so much a lieutenant can do, before he must give up. I realize he could not train one with no skills..."

"Truthfully, Ri'hus, I do not believe for one moment that there is any Kana out there with no skills whatsoever to speak of," Tas'hukh said. "Everyone has at least one skill which can be cultivated, if done properly."

Ri'hus lowered his head again. "With respect, Lord...I have not ever shown any skills of any sort...so I must disagree."

"Perhaps merely you never received the chance to display the right one. So you say that swordfighting and sparring are not your strong suit; so perhaps you need try a spear, or an ax, or something else. Perhaps you are not meant for fighting, but would make an excellent scout. Leave this in my hands, and I will see what we can do."

The young Kana didn't seem convinced, but neither did he protest. He was silent for quite a while, before venturing to speak again. "If..." Tas'hukh had to look down at him before he would continue, and even then he kept his eyes averted. "Ah...if I prove to still be a disappointment, Lord," he said meekly, "what then do you plan to do...?"

Tas'hukh frowned. "What would you expect me to do?"

Ri'hus flinched and fiddled his fingers. "Well...it is forward of me, but may I ask, that when such a time comes, you may at least grant me enough to purchase a small amount of food and drink, before I go on my way...? I do not know what I could do to repay it, but if you need me to, I..."

Tas'hukh gawked. "You expect me to toss you out--?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

Ri'hus peered up at him, his face anxious. "Well...this is only the reasonable thing, Lord...you cannot put me up if I do not hold up my end..."

The captain let out an odd cross between a snort and a huff. "Private! I will hardly go kicking you out into the street! I had not intended to tell you this, but I went to speak with your father just before I met up with you. I find this intolerable! No Kana so willing to improve himself as you are should be kicked out of his own house!"

The youth gave him a confused look. "But...you wish me to reach my next rank within a year. I promise to try my hardest, Lord, but I cannot guarantee anything...I just assumed...if I fail, you will of course be obliged to let me go--"

Tas'hukh had to shake his head, he was growing so flustered. "I will not let you go!" he exclaimed, feeling his ears growing warm when the private gave him an odd look. "Trust me, Ri'hus, I know all too well how it feels to be in the position you are now in," he said, and Ri'hus's brow furrowed. "Perhaps I do not know the misfortune you do, but I know this feeling. Even if you do not reach your next rank I do not intend to toss you out into the street, ever. You train yourself harder than most of those who have reached the rank of lieutenant by now. And if you only keep training like that, you too will be a lieutenant someday. No matter what you think."

Ri'hus was the one to gawk this time. "A--a lieutenant--?" He sputtered. "Lord! I will never reach such a rank! I would be happy merely being a sergeant third class!"

Tas'hukh almost tripped over his own foot. I'anen's voice, shrill and grating, immediately echoed in his head--You agreed to help me reach lieutenant elite. Do you really think I wish to spend my days servicing you as a piddling sergeant--? He glanced at Ri'hus so abruptly that the youth flinched back, as if expecting to be hit, yet all that Tas'hukh was thinking of was how unbelievable he found it that any trainee would aspire to be merely a third class, much less one of the second-lowest rank. He saw from Ri'hus's eyes that he was sincere, however, and flared his ears.

"Private," he said, in such a voice that Ri'hus drew in on himself yet listened carefully, "you can rest assured that I am never going to let you settle for sergeant third class. After you make that rank--I fully intend for you to reach second class, and first, and lieutenant. I will not stop until you are an elite."

The look on Ri'hus's face was indescribable. "But--Lord," he exclaimed, and his voice cracked, as plaintive as I'anen's ever was. "I will never reach such a rank! Even you do not have the power to gain me this rank! I do not have nearly the skills!"

I'anen's voice again: But...I do not have these skills...

But I am lousy at training...!

"There is only one promise I ask you to keep above all else," Tas'hukh said, his voice grating. Ri'hus stared back at him. "Train your hardest. If you fail to reach your next rank in a year, then you try for the next year. But that is what you will do. Try. As hard as you have ever tried under your father's care, and in the barracks, and even harder than that. Every day that you can." His own eyes bored through Ri'hus's. "You will promise me this, willingly?"

Ri'hus just stared at him, numbed into silence. After a moment he gave a slight, hesitant nod.

"I...of course, Lord...I already promised."

"You mean this promise?"

Another nod, stronger this time. "Of course, Lord. I will always train my hardest."

"You will not ever seek the lazy way out of something, will you, Private?"

A shake. "No, Lord--of course not."

Tas'hukh let out his breath. "Then I will not ever toss you away," he said. "I will not ever stop believing in you, and I will not ever let you down. And so long as you keep your promise, no matter what lappets you end up in when you die, you will not ever let me down." He lifted his head, still looking Ri'hus in the eyes. "So do you agree, Private?"

The private looked at him as if he must be at least somewhat crazy; Tas'hukh took no offense, as he was used to that look by now. A while passed before he nodded once more.

"I...yes, Lord...I will try."

"Good." Tas'hukh slowed his step and waved; Ri'hus craned his neck. "This is where you will be staying; it is just next door to my room. Not many people keep to this hall."

"I am staying by myself--?" Ri'hus asked.

Tas'hukh glanced at him quickly. "What had you expected--?" he asked in return.

Ri'hus flushed. "Oh. I...nothing, Lord. I am just used to...being surrounded by lots of other Kana, I guess." He made a slight face.

"Well, here you will have your privacy for a change. Perhaps this alone will help you train better, now that you will not have to put up with everything else." He opened the door and Ri'hus peered inside, his eyes growing at the sight of the ornate bed and numerous boxes. "It is used for storage at the moment," Tas'hukh said, "but I will have it properly cleaned up soon enough." He gestured at Ri'hus's pack. "Place that within, and head out to the south courtyard. I will go to the kitchens and fetch us something to eat while you practice with your sword. When I come back, I will see exactly what you are doing with the thing."

Ri'hus's wings sank but he obediently stepped into the room. "Yes, Lord..."

Tas'hukh waited while he went inside, then continued on toward the back of the household. His stare wandered toward the floor and he bit his lip pensively as he walked.

Why do you even try to hide it? It is obvious why you brought him here, why you promised him so much, why you house him right near you. Remember what everyone says of you, and how true it is. Who else was young and pretty? Djuta? I'anen? Hiath'ikh? And now Ri'hus...

Be silent! I know what he has just been through and I will not allow that to happen to another good Kana!

But you did not have any other motive in mind when you brought him here...? Those pretty blue eyes did not convince you that maybe, perhaps, you will get to know him better...? Come now, Captain; how can you resist such a beautiful face? Such a beautiful body? The things that you could do with him...

Tas'hukh squinched his eyes shut and bared his teeth. "This is not why I brought him here," he growled to himself. "He is to be my trainee! Nothing more! After what he went through, there is no way that I will ever impose myself upon him!"

But I know it is true...do I not...? I did ache a little, when I first saw him...and he is beautiful...the way he spoke to me, even almost as if he is close to me already...he even asked whether he should sleep alone...I know he had his reasons, but still, I would be lying if I said I had not wondered if this might come to pass...

He opened his eyes and bit his lip. "He is my trainee," he murmured, his eyes hard and his step quick. "That is all. Nothing else will happen between us."

Though I wish that it would...

And if it does...what then...?

He shook the voices from his head. "Dinner," he stated out loud. "After practice. Let me at least see just how well I can keep this promise I made, before I decide to drag him to my bed." He made a face at his own insensitivity before passing into the kitchens. Practice, food, and then sleep. Those were the three main things to worry about. Anything else could wait until a better time...if there ever was one.

* * * * *

He sought out a large loaf of bread, and instructed a servant to run ahead with a tray of figs and cakes to take to his room, while he went into the cellars to find a decent vase of wine. He had always much preferred wine to beer, which was usually too coarse and thick for his tastes. He headed back up the hall with his items, depositing them in his room and then heading for the roof.

It was late enough at night that no one was present here now, not even a guard. The occasional shout of a taverngoer came to his ears but that was all. He paced across the roof to where it overlooked the south courtyard, and came to a stop to peer down into the enclosure. Ri'hus was there, not far from the pool, swinging his sword about as he mock-fought with an imaginary opponent. Tas'hukh approached the corner of the wall nearest the street and leaned upon his elbows to watch. Ri'hus's motions were rather misguided, but not incredibly clumsy; perhaps he had merely never been taught how to properly handle such a big weapon. At least he did not have two left hands.

"He does not seem completely hopeless," Tas'hukh murmured, just in time for Ri'hus to swing his sword too wide, and yelp as he nearly fell over backwards. Tas'hukh winced, but the private merely flushed, and immediately went back to his sparring, though the look on his face was terribly chagrined as he did so.

He does not even know if I am here yet. He feels embarrassment even when he thinks no one is around. I wonder how long his father pounded it into him how useless he must be...?

He relaxed again and continued watching the young Kana for a while. Ri'hus battled his invisible adversary all the way around the pool, coming at last to a halt on the other side. Here, he finally lowered the sword so its tip clanked against the tiles, and bent almost double, gasping for breath. After a moment he lifted his head and ran his hand across his brow, then set his sword down and approached the pool. He glanced from left to right before kneeling down beside it and sticking his hands in the water. Tas'hukh started when he splashed it in his face, scooping up handfuls and pouring it over his shoulders. He was not wearing armor so the water streamed down his body and dampened his kilt, yet he heedlessly continued splashing himself, sputtering as he cooled himself off.

Tas'hukh's breath stuck in his throat, a sharp ache flaring through him. Ri'hus's youth again struck him, and he noticed how when the water ran glistening through his fur, he very slightly resembled Djuta, when he had been younger...and Tas'hukh's slave. When Ri'hus tossed his head back and shook the gleaming droplets from himself he had to look away abruptly, the breath catching in his throat again. He shut his eyes tightly and fought the feeling down. He would be lying to himself, if he did not admit that he was drawn to Ri'hus's alluring youth...that when the young Kana had tossed his head back, the image that had flashed in his mind was of the private and himself half submerged in the water together, Tas'hukh gripping him tightly as he thrust, the water shining on Ri'hus's lithe body. He suppressed a groan and struggled to keep his head as he turned away and left the private to himself. His own body ached to feel Ri'hus's against him; there was no denying it, especially not now that his loincloth felt so tight. Yet the private had been through much lately, and to approach him now would be to risk losing his trust. If it appeared that he had taken him in simply to sate his lusts...then he would never be allowed to tutor him.

I made him this promise. That I would not give up on him. If I lose his trust, I may as well never promise anything again. I cannot be with him. Not now. Not so soon. If I am patient, and wait, then maybe someday...

His muzzle wrinkled and he paced away from the roof's edge in disgust. Even after all the trouble that younger Kana had given him, he still apparently hadn't learned just yet. With a flustered sigh he leaned upon the ledge overlooking the street, tail flicking from side to side, and watched the Kana pass by below. He sighed to himself. It had been such a long day, with so much to do; and much more to do in the future, now that he was again to train a Kana personally. The thought of this excited him as well, so that his spirits lifted somewhat.

It has been so very long since I've felt of use, either here or among the Shore Tribe...spending all my time training ungrateful spoiled Kana...Kana who do not know honor from a hole in the ground. Even I'ee did not understand the idea of honor...he never trained an honest day in his life. I am willing to bet that the great number of them did not one thing to truly earn their lappets, the way I had to...

But at least he is trying...which is more than I can say for most...and even if his skills are minimal, still, his heart is bigger than others I have seen, and that must count for something...if I can help him to fight, to defend himself, to become strong, then I have done one good thing, at least...and maybe then, I can stop feeling so lowly about everything I have failed to do...

If I can help him prove his father wrong...I will be the one, the only one, to give him that chance.

Below, he heard laughter. He glanced down to see two Kana stumbling along the street, one supporting the other, and recognized Lord Tefkha from the tavern. He himself appeared to be able to walk on his own, yet his friend was not so fortunate; Tefkha had to half-drag, half-guide him along, and every so often the two of them would burst into laughter. Tas'hukh's mouth twitched and he didn't know whether to sneer at them or smile wistfully that he was not so young and careless anymore, even if he had never gotten himself stinking drunk. He blinked when they veered abruptly to the side and slumped against the mudbrick wall surrounding the household, still letting out a murmured laugh. Tefkha's back was pressed to the wall; the drunken Kana leaned forward and devoured him with his mouth. Tas'hukh expected the lieutenant to push his companion away--the other Kana was merely a sergeant, and surely reeked of beer by now--but it didn't happen. Their hands started groping at each other as their mouths still met, and the sergeant slipped his hands underneath Tefkha's kilt, squeezing his buttocks. Their mouths broke apart and the lieutenant let out a gasp. Tas'hukh could hear their excited murmurs even from atop the roof. After a moment of this the other Kana pushed up Tefkha's kilt over his hips and started pulling hastily at his loincloth; the lieutenant only smirked with much that same look he'd given Tas'hukh earlier. The sergeant nuzzled at his neck and now Tefkha closed his eyes and slid his hands down his companion's back.

Tas'hukh's own eyes widened. When the sergeant had managed to undo his own loincloth, then hoisted up one of his superior's legs and moved forward with a quick spurt of breath, he couldn't believe it. A few other Kana passed by and glanced at the two occupied by the wall, Tefkha leaning his head back, the sergeant grunting furiously as he pushed. They laughed and went on their way, the other two too absorbed in their coupling to much care or notice. They did it right in the open, within sight of anyone, yet didn't appear to mind the lack of privacy, so long as their bodies ended up sated. Tefkha leaned forward, into his companion's thrusts, and sucked at his neck, his claws digging into the other Kana's quivering buttocks; he used one leg to loop about the other's and draw him close so their hips met. Tas'hukh could hear him growl, and saw the other Kana's shudder of lust; they pressed to one another even closer and doubled their efforts, their murmurs and gasps reaching his ears far above. When he discovered that he was aroused, Tas'hukh turned quickly away. His claws dug into his palms and he headed for the stairway down from the roof, fire building within him.

He wished that he coupled with Tefkha right now, the strong lean lieutenant riding upon his own member. Or Djuta. He missed his Moru's lovely build, his hot yet tender touch. As he strode back, flaring with heat, he wondered if he should simply call Lieutenant Hiath'ikh. The other Kana had made it clear that Tas'hukh could come to him whenever he wished, and leave whenever he wished; yet Tas'hukh was reluctant to do so, and had no idea where he even was right now. Neither did he know where Djuta was...not that Djuta would accept him anyway. And Tefkha, perhaps he could have had his chance with him, back at the tavern; yet he was otherwise occupied, now, as a faint echoing cry from outside the wall reminded him.

He ground his teeth in frustration as he reached his rooms and entered, shutting the door. He had no females of his own nearby, as if a female had ever interested him in his life. Worse yet, however, he had no Moru. He knew exactly what he wanted...a young, lean, strong body next to his...yet had none. He had to relieve himself somehow.

He sought about for something to lessen the tension, and his gaze fell on the long-necked vase of wine he had brought into the room earlier. He bit his lip. He remembered all too well how he'd tried such a thing once before, only to end up stuck in an embarrassing manner when Djuta had arrived. Well, at least with Djuta out of the picture, he couldn't make that mistake again. Licking his lips and trying to still the sudden tremble in his hands, he fetched the vase, poured its contents into a jar, and carried it along with him toward his bed. He fetched a bowl of oil as he went and sat down on the edge of the bed, hands still shaking.

He set the vase down beside him and dipped his fingers in the bowl of oil before glancing up at his door. With a sigh he stood and strode to it, fastened the latch, then returned. He lifted his kilt and untied his loincloth, then decided he might as well make the most of it while he was here. He stood and let his kilt drop to the floor, kicking it aside. He pulled off the rest of his clothing, stripping himself bare of everything but his jewelry and skullcap. Panting by now, he smoothed the oil over his sheath, which was already swelling. He impatiently waited for his penis to rise, and rubbed the oil upon it as well, as thickly as he could. He did the same to the neck of the vase, slathering it generously. The liquid was cool against his heated flesh, and sent a jolt through his body which only increased his excitement. He hoped no one showed up, as always seemed to happen when he was thus engaged.

He set aside the bowl with a clank, some of the oil spilling out onto the small table. He pulled himself further back onto the bed and, guiding himself carefully, slid his swollen member inside the neck of the vase. The fit was snug, yet acceptable; he shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, tried to imagine that it was what it was not. He wasn't entirely successful; but then again, partly successful, right now, was good enough.

With a low groan he at first lay back upon the bed and manipulated the vase, sliding it up and down himself, then rolled over onto his stomach with it positioned beneath him and began thrusting his hips. It was very awkward; but when he scrabbled to drag some loose pillows underneath him, and clutched them tightly, it felt almost as if he clutched the body of his lover beneath him, and he kept his eyes shut tightly as he pushed, his tail flicking wildly and his wings fanning the air. Every so often he slipped one hand beneath himself to move the vase back into position when it slid too far; but aside from that, he could almost imagine that this was what he wanted.

He panted hard, nostrils flaring, and moved his hips heavily. "Dj...Djuta," he whispered, the name of his beloved. "Djuta...my gods, Djuta..." He clawed the pillows, then leaned down to gnaw at one, envisioning the nape of the one he cherished most. It didn't taste right, but he ignored the discrepancy. The pleasure building between his legs was great enough, and his groan only grew.

* * * * *

Ri'hus stayed out by the pool for a long while, swinging his sword, yet after some time his arms ached from the exertion, and even dipping them in the water brought no relief. He paused, panting, and glanced around himself, yet saw no sign of the captain who had brought him here; he sparred a little more, then stopped, and made a circuit of the courtyard, brow furrowing. Not even a guard stood watch in this part of the hallway overlooking the court; Ri'hus peered at every entrance, yet there was not a soul to be seen. He at last thought to peek up at the roof, but there was no one there, either.

Ri'hus's wings sank. Had he been forgotten out here, then...?

He stood by the pool for a few moments, then sat upon a bench. He scuffed his foot at the tiles, studying the pattern made by the ripples in the water, and longed to ease himself into the pool and immerse himself entirely, his muscles ached so much. Instead he kept his place, waiting as patiently as he could for Tas'hukh to return. It was only when his stomach let out an angry growl that he grasped at it with a gasp, hunching over and realizing how late it must be.

He said that he would come and watch me...did he forget? Where did he go...?

He lifted his head and meekly looked toward the hallway. "Lord...?" he called out, hesitant; there was no reply but his echo. His brow furrowed further. He had decided to wait a little while more, when his stomach growled again, and he whined softly to himself. He hadn't eaten all day.

"Lord...?" he called again, more softly this time; when no response was forthcoming, he sighed and rose, making his way toward the household and gingerly stepping into the hall. He chewed his lip as he studied the doors he passed, trying to remember where his own new room was. The layout of most Kana households was much the same, but then again, he had been raised in a small household, and this was the household of the general.

The general. This thought made him stop abruptly, and he stared at the floor. That was right; he was within the general's household, now. Top captains often housed with their generals, and as such he had been housed with his new captain. He looked over his shoulder and wondered if anyone else had seen him sparring, then picked up his pace, hastening down the hall.

The--the general! What if he ever sees me training--? It is bad enough being surrounded by two hundred Kana! But the general--? I will never reach my next rank if HE sees me training...!

He whined to himself as he practically jogged now, praying that no guards would happen upon him. He didn't even know if Tas'hukh had cleared his arrival with Mahakhi or not. What if they thought he was trespassing? What if they threw him out--? Tas'hukh had already apparently forgotten about him--what if he never came to look for him...?

I will not ever toss you away. I will not ever stop believing in you, and I will not ever let you down. And so long as you keep your promise, no matter what lappets you end up in when you die, you will not ever let me down...

Ri'hus's step began to slow, and he stopped to catch his breath, the captain's words echoing in his head. He stared at the floor for a very long time. Tas'hukh had promised him. He would not throw him out. And so...why had he never shown up...?

He lifted his head and saw that he was not too far away from his new quarters by now. Tas'hukh's door stood just to the side of his own. He bit his lip and fiddled with his lappet, then took a breath and let it out. He rubbed the water from behind his ears and straightened out his kilt, wishing it were not so damp. He squeezed the moisture from his tail as he started walking again, trying to make himself presentable.

Perhaps he had merely gotten caught up in something...? He had been going down to the kitchens for dinner...Ri'hus's stomach grumbled again, and he walked a bit faster. He would check to see where Tas'hukh was, and then apologize for leaving his training. At least then he would know where his trainer had gone off to, and would not have to worry about training for nothing.

He slowed his step once more near Tas'hukh's rooms, and considered going in to speak with him, then reconsidered. If the lord was busy, he would hate interrupting him. On the other hand...what if Tas'hukh was waiting for him, even now, and wondering where he had gone off to? He just remembered that they had not made specific plans on how to meet after finishing with training...were they to eat in the courtyard, or was Tas'hukh awaiting him just inside, and cursing him under his breath? Was he expected to go inside? He stood for a moment, uncertain of what to do; and so it was a moment or two before he heard the first muffled murmurs coming through the door.

Tas'hukh's voice was low, nearly indistinct. "Djuta..."

Ri'hus's ears flickered. Djuta--? He was here--? He glanced about himself, as if expecting to see the lieutenant nearby--before realizing that the murmur had come from inside Tas'hukh's rooms. Was he there, then--? In with the captain--?

Ri'hus stood stock still, wings tensed and an odd feeling in his breast. Even though part of his mind told him not to, he leaned toward the door anyway, peering into the crack beside it.

Tas'hukh was within, as he had guessed, and he was occupied in his bed. Ri'hus started to pull away abruptly before blinking and noticing that no one else was with the captain. Indeed, it looked as if he mated with the bed itself, supporting himself on his hands and rocking his hips at the bouncing surface with his head thrown back. Ri'hus truly couldn't understand this, until he noticed the lump of the vase rolling about beneath him, Tas'hukh reaching down to pull it forward again, squeezing it between his legs with a strained look on his face. Ri'hus blinked. He'd never seen something so strange before.

Flushing furiously, he pulled away from the crack--just as the captain bucked and tossed his head and cried out once more.

"Ri'hus!"

Ri'hus started, jumping back from the door, eyes going wide and wings flaring. He didn't lean forward again, though the desperate moaning within--Djuta's name now replaced with his own--only continued. Ears burning, he hastened away, tugging frantically at his own door and shutting himself inside his room. He leaned against the door, gasping, yet the muffled noises were still just barely audible, from within here.

"Ri'hus..." the captain's voice moaned, and then finally fell silent.

Ri'hus stayed frozen against the door, hackles prickled, yet no more noises came. He felt a pain in his fingers and found that his claws were digging into the wood hard enough to gouge. He forced himself to relax somewhat, but his heart still thudded hard and fast in his breast.

My name! He yelled MY name--!

He took in a breath, held it, then let it out, relaxing his wings and staring across the room. He noticed that he was staring at his own bed and flushed again, quickly turning away. His stomach felt as if it were full of insects by now, fluttering around madly. He stood still for a very long time, making absolutely certain that the activities within the next room were really over, before even thinking of turning back toward the door.

He was yelling my name! Why on the earth would he be doing that...?

And what was he doing to that poor vase!!

He tentatively opened the door, and peered out into the hallway. There was still no one around. He stepped out of his room and tiptoed to Tas'hukh's door, reaching out several times to knock upon it and drawing back every time. He finally bit his lip and rapped his knuckles against it so lightly that surely no one could hear, then bit his tongue and knocked harder. He shifted from foot to foot, ears flaring every which way. It felt like an eternity before the door was opened, and he gasped and jumped.

* * * * *

Tas'hukh tossed his head, tongue lolling, and cried out the name of the one he envisioned most beneath him--

"Ri'hus!"

The name struck him like a shock. He grunted with surprise at the realization, even though it wasn't surprising. When he'd watched Ri'hus at the pool, he'd thought of Djuta...now he thought of Ri'hus's body, Ri'hus beneath him, accepting him. He moaned the name and clutched the vase between his tightening thighs, hips holding it in place as he at last hastened into his final bout of thrusting, before he could lose it. A moment later he groaned harshly and froze, hearing the hollow gush within the clay vessel. He let out a whistling breath and sank down over it, the pillows barely supporting him, his breath coming fast. He shut his eyes and tried to calm his heartbeat, even while he despaired inside. He'd come, but he felt as empty as ever inside, even more so, now that he knew what he did not have.

No Djuta. No I'anen. Certainly no Ri'hus. How am I supposed to make it on my own? I feel I should go mad inside...

He lay upon the bed for a while, breath slowing and tail flicking in frustration. After some time he thought he heard a very faint knocking at the door; lifting his head, he flared his ears as soon as it came again, louder this time. Who would be coming by here this late at night...?

Late--?

Ri'hus!

He bared his teeth in disbelief and jumped up from the bed, hurriedly grabbing his clothing and slipping his kilt and loincloth back on; there was no time for his armor. He picked up the vase and hastened to the balcony, stowing it outside near a column, then batting at the pillows as he passed the bed, separating them. He could only hope that the room didn't smell too much of musk; perhaps with hope he could excuse it as some past nesakh'ai, perhaps from the night before. He launched himself at the door and yanked it open, and immediately the private standing outside jerked to attention, clapping his arm to his breast. The look on his face was much the same as Tas'hukh imagined his own to be.

"L-Lord!" Ri'hus exclaimed, eyes goggling and wings flaring.

"Ri'hus!" Tas'hukh practically shouted, making him cringe. "I am sorry! I didn't know how much time had passed!" He stepped aside and gestured the youth in as if his life depended on it; Ri'hus hesitated before scurrying inside, keeping his head ducked low. "I went to watch you in the courtyard," Tas'hukh said, trying to get his frantically thudding heart to slow, "but I was distracted by something, and had to return--I did mean to come back and fetch you, had I only known how late it was!"

Ri'hus halted and turned around, keeping his eyes averted. "I--I'm sorry I left my training, Lord," he said meekly, twisting his lappet around his finger. "I had only wondered..."

Tas'hukh waved at him and he fell silent. "Do not explain yourself--it is fully my fault! I did observe you, I assure you." He turned. "Dinner--I believe I promised you some!"

Ri'hus kept his place, fingers fiddling now. "You...so you did see me training, Lord...?" When Tas'hukh nodded he winced. "Then...that means you saw how poorly I did..."

Tas'hukh lifted his head, the food tray in his hands. "Poorly...?" He frowned and set the tray down again. "I saw a Kana who...admittedly, can use some help..." Ri'hus made a face "...yet no, I did not see you do poorly. You were training quite hard, in fact."

"Training hard is not good enough when there are no skills to be had," Ri'hus said. "Lord, I would understand it completely if you were to change your mind...I hate wasting your time like this..."

"Do not speak nonsense!" Tas'hukh snapped, and Ri'hus flinched and ducked his head again. The captain stared at him for a moment, then sighed and nudged the tray away. He stood straight and stretched his wings, pacing toward the window.

"Ri'hus," he said, and the private peered up at him. Tas'hukh looked out at the courtyard, then turned back. "Do you want to know why I took you on? The real reason?"

Ri'hus's brow furrowed slightly.

"I will tell you why," Tas'hukh answered for him. He crossed his arms and leaned back against a column. "Once, I was much like you."

Ri'hus frowned. "Me--?" He shook his head. "You could not have been like me, Lord. After all--you are a captain. Highly respected. And I am just a private."

"I am no longer so highly respected as you would think," Tas'hukh said, earning another confused look, yet he brushed it off. "I admit, I was more skilled in training than you are right now," he said, "yet just like you, I trained every day; as hard as I could. I even eschewed going to the taverns with the rest of the Kana, just for the chance to improve my swing. I worked always, and earned my blue lappets, and my father was most proud of me. I was one of the best in my training division."

Ri'hus lowered his head again. "I fail to see how you were much like me," he murmured, yet added nothing else.

"My father was most proud of me," Tas'hukh repeated, "until I informed him I was sen'akha, at which point every trace of his pride immediately vanished. That was the night I was thrown out from my father's house and told to continue my training on my own."

Ri'hus's head popped up, and his eyes grew round, his mouth falling open. Tas'hukh looked at him, then pushed himself away from the column and stepped back into the room.

"This is true," he said as he came. "I was fortunate," he added, his voice growing softer as he stopped not far from the young Kana, "in that I found a sponsor, and continued my training. I vowed that I would earn my next lappets, and if I could not bring my father any pride earning honors, then I would do it completely for myself. There is not always something wrong with doing something for yourself." He crossed his arms again. "I see that you train hard--more than what most other Kana would ever do--and even though your skills are weak, your heart is strong, and so is your spirit. Perhaps I do take a risk taking you as a trainee. Perhaps you will never be anything more than a private. But I do not believe this will happen. I just could not stand to see a Kana so much like myself once, without the opportunity that I once had. My sponsor could have easily turned me down. I am here today because he did not. You are here today because I did not turn you down. I believe that things happen for a reason."

Throughout all of this, Ri'hus continued staring at him with wide eyes, apparently stunned. After Tas'hukh had finished speaking he slowly lowered his head, wings closing in toward his back, and his fingers crept up to twist his lappet again.

"But...you are such a skilled Kana, and I..."

"Are still working on it," Tas'hukh filled in, earning another timid look. "And this is where I come in. So your swing is somewhat off; I have seen far worse. My last trainee would not even deign to lift his own sword." Ri'hus blinked. "At least you are better off than that. Now stop thinking I will toss you out like a certain other Kana did, for unlike him, I have all the time in the world to spend on this." He waved and turned. "Dinner. A full stomach, and then sleep, and we will begin your training on the morrow. But dinner first of all."

Ri'hus blushed and bobbed his head. "Yes, Lord."

They retreated toward the small table, drawing up chairs, and sat down to tear into the food and wine, the young Kana eating as if there would be no tomorrow to worry about.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Djuta stared up at the canopy above, one arm pillowing his head. Beside him, Lieutenant Resikh breathed quietly; Djuta could still smell the faint scent of their musk, could still just taste the saltiness of Resikh's seed in his mouth. They had awakened during the night and reached for each other and had joined in glorious hakh'tua, the likes of which Djuta had never felt before, even in all of their times together. The small part of him that still harbored anger toward his friend was slowly fading, and now he felt mainly a slight shame that he had risked his reputation just for him. He turned his head to look at the other Kana's dozing figure, Resikh's own head resting upon the crook of his arm and his tail flicking just slightly; he was naked, and Djuta stared for a while at his sheath, so smooth and beautiful. He would have reached out to touch him, but didn't want to wake him; and his thoughts were otherwise preoccupied as he resumed staring upwards. After a while he gave a pained sigh and shut his eyes, covering them with his other arm.

He heard a soft shifting noise, felt Resikh's breath brush against his arm as he turned himself over. They lay in silence for a moment before he spoke.

"You are thinking of him, still?"

"I must set it right," Djuta murmured. "Somehow."

"What you have done, you have done. You cannot undo it now."

"I would have received my just punishment if you had not lied."

"And you would have been forever destroyed for one mistake. I would not allow this to happen. You mean far too much for me to let you go in such a way, Brother."

"Despite your oath as a Kana?" Djuta gave a frustrated snort. "I cannot understand why he stood up for me, either..."

"He did not defend you," Resikh murmured sleepily, nuzzling against Djuta's neck. "He defended himself." He opened his own eyes now, and they were vaguely troubled. "Little good it did him, in the end..." He rolled over onto his side and yawned. Djuta shut his eyes again.

"I cannot just let it pass by. I've done a horrible wrong."

"You are waiting for me to tell you no, you haven't? Things will be normal when you awaken?" Resikh glanced over his shoulder. "I will not tell you this. You have done a wrong, and things will never be as they were before. You are merely Apsiu, as are the rest of us. We have all made bad judgements, and must live with them."

"But he should not be forced to." Djuta pushed himself up into a sitting position, rubbing his forehead. Resikh lay staring at him, then Djuta swung his legs out of the bed. He glanced back when Resikh grasped his wrist.

"What...?"

"Leave him be." Resikh gave him a look. "I know for myself that he does not wish to speak with you right now. He is most likely gone by now, as it is."

"Gone--?" Djuta frowned in mild confusion.

Resikh nodded shortly. "He was leaving the tribe. To find a new army to train with. His father cut his funding, kicked him from the family."

Djuta stared at him in silence for a while.

"He disowned him...? Because of me?"

"Because of everything. It would have happened had you not done what you did anyway. It would only have taken longer. I already tried everything I could to convince him to stay...but perhaps it is best that he is going. Perhaps now he may finally have a shot at becoming a good Kana with a tribe that actually cares for him. Unlike ours." Resikh rolled over. "Do not assume that you are so important that all events rest upon your actions. And get some sleep."

"I have already slept."

Resikh stretched himself. "That was hardly sleep," he said, lifting his tail, and Djuta had to glance away from him before he could feel the urge to climb atop him yet again.

"You know full well what I mean," he said.

He heard Resikh sigh. "And I had thought that the feel of you, putting your mouth around me, would be a decent enough way to end the evening."

Djuta's stare continued. After a while he sighed and lay back, gazing up at the canopy. Then he rose and swung his legs out of the bed again, seeking his sandals.

Resikh glanced at him over his shoulder with some annoyance. "Djuta..."

"I'm merely going back to my quarters."

Resikh blinked. "I said something...?"

Djuta snorted. "No, not you. What did you just say to me? Do not assume that you are so important? I merely forgot about Khetai. She lives in my room. If I leave her alone for too long, she is prone to start breaking things." He made an unpleasant face and dug his loincloth out of the mussed sheets, tying it on.

The other Kana couldn't suppress a smirk. Djuta scowled at him as he stood and pulled on his kilt.

"Not you also."

Resikh smiled. "Would it help any if I said that I am laughing with you? Not at you?"

"I am hardly laughing, so it would help little."

Resikh only snickered. Djuta stood and fastened his kilt at his waist, stopping only long enough to lean over the bed and place his muzzle to Resikh's neck; the other Kana smiled sleepily and turned his head so they kissed each other. Djuta trailed his fingers down the side of his face while Resikh did likewise, and then they only reluctantly parted from each other. Djuta sighed as he stood once more and made his way to the door, his previous vague worries replaced now with more concrete ones. Even with as busy as he and his friend had been, he knew he'd received far more rest here than he ever would with Khetai around.

Continue:

"Part 47: Skeletons" 


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