The day I went to Baltimore

My weekend at Baltimore
Or how to turn a weekend into a lifestyle
By Terry Shayler

first starts

I guess I'd always wanted to come and see you all and when Stories Master put forward the idea of a convention on August 16 –18th 2002,I knew instantly that despite all else I just had to go. So I girded my loins, as all good travellers do, despite there being a number of false starts only broken by the kindness of the management here at stories, so came the day of departure for Baltimore and the stories.com convention to be held at the Radisson Plaza hotel in Baltimore’s lovely inner harbour area.

So this then is how on a warm day in August this otherwise sane English man sat waiting at a bus stop at the unearthly time of 4:15am on a day in August for the coach that would take me some two hours ride to Gatwick airport which in its turn would lead me some 3,900 miles or so to the States

At this particular moment of time, as I sat waiting, I should confess I wondered why my heart had been so gripped by this venture. However once a start had been made these doubts grew further and further away.

Besides it was good to see that all the stories associated with dawn stretching out and touching the world were in fact truth.

So with adventure in mind and a suitcase in the coach boot/trunk, depending on which part of the world your reading this in, off we set.

Onward and upward

As we pulled in to Gatwick Airport I realised I should be nervy as my lack of flying reminded me or at least tried to. However, instead I found myself so excited at the thought of actually seeing folks who have come to mean so much to me.

So off the coach with my travelling bag, and off to see a man about a strip search, or would this be my lucky day and find that owing to a sudden wave of some strange sounding eastern flu only female attendants were in place.

Alas, no flu of any kind had befallen anyone and so I faced someone who might have been a stand in for king Kong to do the honours.

I was ready to confess to being a ringleader for a least two Chinese Tongs to avoid the indignity of his wand going over my body but all was to no avail.

As bleep after bleep echoed I suffer a moments panic attack as in emptying my pockets I hoped that in my sleep I had remember to grasp a clean handkerchief.

This proved to be the case, so relief ensued as on to the check in desk I went.

Just remember to blow up the life raft first

There is something altogether sinister in being told with a beautiful smile just how many ways these tons of metal on wings might seriously damage my health.

We made it into the aircraft hoping that good time would be made. However as one passenger decided she just had to continue a slightly one-sided affair with a whiskey bottle, her eventual departure was much quicker then it should been.

After various security checks were carried out, we made our way out onto the runway.

Then came the safety instructions following any one of many possible failures on board,
I waited eagerly for a nubile attractive air hostess who as soon as our eyes met would fall for my obvious charm, sadly this being a more multimedia age, I was faced with having to convince a very attractive yet seemingly aloof young lady who could only address me via video tape. The high odds against my being able to do this made me just sit back and smile as I imagined various degrees of mild panic ensuing about the aircraft.

We were aloft and miraculously still gaining height. How is it that so much weight is held up in the air by a flimsy wing I will never understand? I should have paid more attention to my physics teacher I know.

On Terra Firma or is it Georga?

Finally we touched down and all those horrendous stories you hear about wings dropping off proved unfounded. I looked around the plane upon landing just to make sure.

I came through immigration and a very large official ask my reasons for a visit. Then on
to the baggage carousel. What a fairground ride that was! I was fortunate enough to be spending a few days around the convention with a very dear and welcome friend; one of stories own- Hawiianpeach. As I was making my way to baggage, I suddenly thought, "what if we miss each other?" Silly me, I should have known she would be faithfully waiting, but I must admit with her sense of direction I sometimes wonder how she found it. (Only joking Peach!)

Well, eventually my case decided that a life of independence didn't suit it and came crawling back to me for forgiveness. As I needed a change of clothing at some stage, I gave it willingly.

Off to Baltimore

After spending a day or two in Georgia with Peaches family, we went on to Baltimore via Delta Airlines.

This of course was a much shorter flight and more enjoyable thanks to pleasant company on the trip.

So both of us arrived at Baltimore to all its possibilities, "What would everyone be like" " would we be able to chat without our keyboards"?

We took a cab from the airport, and of course he just had to show us the scenic route didn't he?
Still eventually the Radisson Hotel was in sight.

We booked in grateful to be relived of lugging our cases, Peach was installed first as they seemed to pay more attention cleaning her room then mine. The rooms were just as the literature had shown very well fitted. So, then Peach and I had to test out the hotel food for the rest of you all, and it proved as good as we thought.

Then we met Story Master and Mistress (my aren't they young!!)Their dedication to this site and us is very refreshing and I’m now the proud owner of a bessie the cow look a like plus a super stories.com coffee mug which (slurp ...slurp) I use regularly. It was real exciting to meet everyone and some fitted my mental picture while others just proved how fuzzy my mind is at times.

Well eventually my room became ready with a little confusion as to my sharing partners first I was with Mr Ed then not, but luckily in the end all was fixed and I ended up with Mr Ed finally and Donald, a dear guy who I got to know very well.

So after getting settled and feeding ourselves we moved on to the first planned event the open mic........

Hi Mic are you open?

The first scheduled event of the weekend took place on Friday, with an open mic evening. The quality of some of the offerings was excellent, ranging from funny stories to songs with a dash of improvised comedy thrown in for good measure.

first a reading of dear Story Master from someone who knows all about him namely Story Mistress entitled "Dear Story Master" I can't begin to thank these guys enough for all their hard work YAH GUYS.

Then a novel item when was the last time you heard from a cow! well Bovine Bessie (or should I say Bessie's Representative was there. The Milkman (4) ) I now feel I know that cow intimately.

Next up was Donald Kaczynski a refreshing and funny guy who proved how versatile us stories folk are considering he left his notes behind and all his fun was ad libbed. Well-done Donald.

Elaine gave us her very best humour as only she could tell it. Thanks for speaking the truth with homespun fun. Her letters to Marcia was the best.

Rae Sharp gave a spirited version of "hero" from Spiderman. Look at those cobwebs.

Then David Lee Simmons brought audience participation as we all heard about Alice before she had her restaurant but when she found a rabbit!!

Cool Breeze was her most delightful self and a pure joy.

Then came a word from our sponsor or one of them at least (imagine He actually got paid to come and have fun) wow. St John gave an absorbing sociological thought rending item on "BUCK" It was a hoot.

then Pam and David knows didily metamorphosed into Sonny and Cher for a lip synch that proved Sonny lives once more.

Then there followed two items of poetry reading from John Ashen & Mark Bradley

and some singing from Minstrel, Pathrino and Zoo Duck, that venerable old duck who's been with this site from the start.

the final item, which proved a most excellent one to round up and finish the evening was a most entertaining real time Camp fire built around the true story of what gores on with Santa Claus. congratulations go to : The Dingo, Moni H, Pathrino, Miyon, devac, Mr ed, Rae Sharp, Syria, Cool Breeze and last but not least The milkman.

Breakfast and dancing

So Saturday Morning arrived and with it came all manner of food in a full breakfast. Anything from Strawberries to Bacon and scrambled eggs, why I bet if I'd have looked real hard I'd have found me some okra!!

Following a nice relaxed breakfast the rest of the day until early evening was our own. Some went off to the town of Baltimore in a sea of orange shirts all emblazoned with the name of stories these intrepid diplomats set off on the travels.

Peach, who had been displaying keyboard twitch went off with John Ashedon to find a pay by minute terminal to access her Internet. They returned later with huge grins and a happy contented look upon their faces. It's a lot to ask us stories folk to go a whole weekend Internet less isn't it?

I waited for Peach who wanted to see the harbour, while I was waiting, I and a somewhat fetching T-shirt with Stories.com all across my middle. Travelled about the hotel floors and managed to pick up at least 4 people all of whom asked " So what’s Stories.com about then?"

I wouldn't let them leave until I had a sworn document signed in blood that they would check out the site. So I guess you might say I became a born again Stories.com Evangelist. Any full time openings on that front SM?

Sadly, Peach managed to leave some medication behind and as I thought didn't look in a fit state to go a-wondering We eventually decided it would be far better to try to get this sorted out. I called her family for some information while she had a much-needed snooze. We finally got this sorted out. but just had to leave the harbour till later.

Anyway after all this it was nearly time to get ready for the award meal and celebration

dance the night away
With a hopeful heart we went through into the ballroom.

Our table had what you need to enjoy a meal, good food, enjoyable conversation and very pleasant company.

We were very well served in all areas, then the evening moved into the presentation of awards and some kind words.

The awardicons ranged from the first ten attendee’s, to the farthest attendee’s via the oldest member. Our newest member T-bird got an award too.

The other awards went to our most enthusiastic member _guess who? Cool breeze

dear Cat woman was the best creative Assistant
and an award was presented from Story Mistress to Story Master for all the work in holding this place together.

Following some words of thanks from a number of attendee’s we danced until 11.

During the evening a number of us took advantage to check out the auction items and what a talented group we have here at stories don't we? Items ranging from cow stalls to some lovely laid out poems graced the hall.

I should like to mention that the rumor that some of our ladies got mooned was entirely due to an adjacent wedding shower on the mezzanine floor. Many hitherto non-smokers suddenly took up the habit just to see the "sights"

As the dance ended it was far to early to stop so like good little stories.com folk we headed to the bar.

Peach reluctantly but quite correctly as it happened didn't seem to trust our ability to find the harbor and return in good time. However After a little persuasion off we went

The harbor at night was I found the best way to shop, and it was lovely to look out across the bay at night amongst the night life.

Then the walk back to the hotel, and of course being a knight we got back in one piece and only some 30 mins outside our deadline.

Back at the hotel, heading for my room I intercepted Mr. ed heading the opposite way and I just had to follow him didn't I and that’s how I found out that you dont play Wannabee or her daughter at cards at 4 am but that's a whole different story isn't it?


My flights too early

Sadly timing isn't always how I'd like it to be, and I guess Sunday was in fact one of those times.
Now if only Delta Airlines had realised the importance of events going on at the Radisson Plaza Lord Baltimore hotel, I feel sure that they would have completely altered their entire schedules, making hundreds of people wait while we attended the Auction of the year. However they didn't so that’s how come we were sitting on an airplane instead of bidding at an auction.

It was such a shame to as so many of the items reflected so much talent. The three that stand out to me were

the devil's good deed by Donald Kaczynski - I love stories with a little twist in the tail.

Anticipating a website convention by Jonette Larrew- and before you say I'm biased let me say I believe this poem manages to convey a sense of excitement at the meeting of us all and at the same time manages to capture the fact that this place is more like family then family.

Bovine Bessie wastebasket donated by the milkman- Lets face it anything made by a cow has got to be worth a mention.

So I'm just sorry I missed snapping up a bargain or two and also adding to the fund for the next convention to be held on August 14-17 2003. I love to say see you there but I might just have to make 2004 instead. One things for sure you haven't seen the last of me YET.

Before I finally take my leave I must say a humongous (I’m English we spell funny) no Donald I said SPELL, ANYWAY WHERE WAS I ... AWH yes a big thanks to a few of the sponsors who helped make all this possible. Folk like

infinity Publishing -ask about POD
Fax Express Inc.
InetU Inc- providers of Dedicated Servers

I only have one question left, if you weren’t there why not? You missed a great time.

Please try, try, tryyyyyyyyyyyy to be there in 2003.

If you think you've read most of this in my Journal about the weekend, you are indeed correct but I hope Story Master /Mistress dont mind my cobbling the entries together in this way. If it doesen't become clear from the reading of this, I should like to thank Story Master & Mistress for all their incredible hard work in putting such an event together. And last but not least all of you guys for being so much fun to be with.