Fear of Flying

Fear of Flying
By Marilyn Mackenzie
April 2, 2002

I'm not really afraid of flying. Not really. My faith in God gives me strength, even in situations that are less than comfortable. And, should some tragedy occur on a flight on which I'm a passenger, I pray that I would be able to show the same bravery as those who died on Sept. 11.

I was going to write about a visit I was making as a "Switzerland" person, a neutral party who had not yet decided whether my dad should be placed in a nursing home or be kept at home with mom. I will still write about the emotions evoked as I sat waiting at the airport, waiting to meet my new dad...the one who might not know me. Or the one who might be seeing cars race up and down the walls. But, as I sat at the airport ready to place my pen on the paper in front of me, other thoughts crept into my mind and shouted, "release me!" And so I did.

Over twenty years ago, a friend commented to me about the differences in traveling to the United States or to other countries. His travel experiences included adventures in South and Central America. And he told me of the sick feeling he got each time he entered airport terminals there, for there were armed guards and military personnel so much in evidence. I experienced that same sick feeling myself today.

Today was the first time I had traveled by air since Sept. 11. I first discovered that the normally cheaper off-site parking lot was almost as expensive as parking in the airport terminal garage. Why? They've had to increase security on the off-site lots.

Since there was little difference in money, I opted for the terminal parking garage. The contents of my car and trunk were searched before I could enter, by a sheriff’s deputy. There were two such deputies at my terminal, and a line of about ten cars gathered, waiting to be searched. No wonder they suggest arriving two hours early for flights. Still, I wasn't prepared for seeing armed National Guards at each entrance and walking around the terminal.

As I waited for my flight to be announced, tears welled in my eyes, tears for lives lost on Sept. 11 and tears for innocence lost and the feelings we all once had of peace, safety and security within the land of the U.S. I cried for peace now lost, and I cried because future generations will think that armed guards at airports have always been there. They'll never know the innocence we had and the security and peace we felt by just being citizens of this grand country.

I knew as our plane passed through the clouds, I would offer a prayer of thanks that my strength is in Him. I would probably have that feeling that I must continue witnessing so that others can find strength in the Lord as well.

I'm not really afraid of flying, but I am a bit chagrined.