Where Do Babies Come From?

Where do babies come from? Driving home from Pennsylvania a few years ago, my daughter and I were busy chatting when we happened to overhear this topic being discussed in the back seat by my two grandsons. Brian and Christopher, then ages four and five were deeply engrossed in conversation and didn’t seem to notice the two extra sets of ears in the car. I should mention that at the time I was driving down a steep mountain highway. To this day I have no idea what force prevented me from driving off the side of the road. My daughter and I eavesdropped on their explanation of the question posed earlier until our sides hurt and our eyes filled with tears of laughter.

Chris: “My Mom sure has a lot of scars from staples on her belly.”

Brian: “Why did she have staples in her belly?”

Chris: “From having babies. Your mom has them too, you should ask her to show them to you. They get them from being pregnant. The Doctor doesn’t want the baby to pop out of the belly so he staples it shut.”

Brian: “Babies don’t pop out of their bellies, Chris. They come out of their butts.”

With this my daughter Joey Lee turned her head and inquired: “Is that why we call you guys Shitheads?” At this point, I was laughing, but still in control of my emotions and the vehicle. Brian and Christopher groaned, then, shrugging their shoulders and rolling their eyes at my daughter, continued their conversation.

Chris: “No, that’s not where they come out of Brian.”

Brian: “Okay, if you’re so smart, where do they come out?”

Chris: “They come out their CHINA, or whatever you call that thing!”

That did it! I almost lost control of the car; I know I lost control of my bladder!