Circus Monkeys -- Chap 3 (R)

CIRCUS MONKEYS
Chapter 3

I woke up the next morning, stretching my hands high above my head and letting out a long groan before flopping back down on the bed. It was quiet all around me. I took the opportunity to lay flat on my back just to stare at the ceiling. I had slept in again. For the first time this year, it felt like I was really on summer vacation.

My eyes traced the cracks in the ceiling, and I sighed. Already the pain of losing my aunt was beginning to lose its edge. In a way it was hard to realize she was gone. It felt like I was just on vacation and any day now my Aunt would phone me and we would jabber like teenagers. The memories were always so bitter sweet.

Sun was streaming through the slight crack under my shades, creating a thin beam across the room. I couldn't believe it. Since my birthday, I had been all strung up. I was paranoid. But now, I felt content with my feelings and thoughts.

I curled under the sheet, wrapping its thin, comforting material around me. I let out a long sigh. Today, nothing could make me move from this spot. Nothing was going to pry me from this perfect, divine spot filled with joy and calm.

"Lory! Mallory!" Joshua's voice sounded through that tiny little crack at the bottom of the shade. "I know you're in there. I just heard you wake up!"

I groaned. It figured the one time I was content with where I was, someone was ready to disturb me. He didn't wait for my answer.

"Lory! Smell!" He cried. I could tell he was laughing. It was an odd request, but I decided to humor him. I drew in a long, deep breath.

...And I found the one thing that could move me from that spot.

"Cotton candy!" I shouted with a gasp. I propelled myself out of the bed. I let the shade fly open and smiled at Joshua through the screen. But my eyes weren't on him for long as they focused on the fog of sugar floating over the grounds.

"I'll be right there!" I said. I didn't bother to wait for his response.

I ran into the bathroom, knocking my head against the wall in the small space. It did nothing to deter me, however, as I splashed some water on my face and threw my hair back into a ponytail. In seconds I had climbed into some clothes and I was out the door. Who cares how I looked, there was sugar outside!

I was out the door in less than a minute and practically sprinting over to the cotton candy machine. Joshua was laughing, jogging right behind me. We were able to sucker the attendants to give us the concoctions of sugar for free.

"Come on, Henry. Whaddya say?"

I was convinced it was the alluring and seductive looks I kept throwing the attendant, Henry, that made him give it to us free of charge. But then an old clown walked up and got one for free as well. I guessed all circus workers were just 'valued members'. Joshua couldn't help rolling his eyes in my general direction. We walked away talking and laughing.

"I knew I would be able to get you out of bed somehow!" He said with a sly grin. I returned it.

"How did you guess I had such a sweet tooth?" I asked. He simply pointed to his head. I playfully pretended to stick my sugar in his hair, but he didn't even flinch. I guess he knew I wouldn't jeopardize the fluff like that.

We walked around the Big Top, joking and finishing our delight. It turns out Joshua was quite the witty guy and he certainly had a lot of adventures to talk about.

"How long have you been a part of the circus?" I asked, insanely curious. He literally had to stop walking and think in his head.

"It must be about 8 years now. I was in gynmanstics and dance until I was 10 and then I got caught up in the circus. I'm originally from California, but my mom and I moved up here with the opportunity came."

I shook my head, awed. "How did you ever decide to become part of the circus?! That just seems like something from fairy tales."

He grinned, his brown eyes flashing warmly. It wasn't hard to tell this was a topic he loved to talk about. "I'm not even really sure. It just kind of happened...I guess I was just really good at what I did from the start and it progressed from there. For a while I actually considered going into the olympics but that just wasn't the deal for me."

"Couldn't you still be a part of the olympics?" I pulled off another cloud of sugar and plopped it on my tongue, enjoying the melting sensation. I leaned up against a young tree, waiting for his answer.

He shrugged. "I guess it's possible, but that's not really want I want. I love the circus life." He gave me a wink. "Although I know that might be hard for some people to understand."

I cast my eyes down and scuffed my toe on the grass before taking my weight off the tree. "Yeah, yeah, I guess we just have two different situations."

We came around to the animals just as I licked the final bit off my cone and threw it into a nearby waste basket with a cover shaped like a pelican.

"Is Poppy around?" I asked. He replied with a simple shrug. We strolled over to see, and our thoughts of Poppy were instantly erased.

"Good Onny! Good Boy!" A man said, patting an elephant on its side. Joshua laughed aloud.

"Hey! Rupert!" He called and jogged forward, I followed but a little more uneasy. I had never been that close to an elephant before.

"Josh, my man!" Rupert said and pulled Joshua into a hug, chuckling. The man was tall and lanky, with large, round eyes. His chin jutted forward sharply but the smile upon his lips was geniune. His long, black hair was neatly trimmed and traced with white. Other men of his appearance might have intimidated me, but all I could feel was a cozy warmth radiating from his direction.

"Hey, I didn't know you guys were back! Why didn't anyone tell me?!" Joshua asked, patting the elephant on its side. Obviously, I was completely forgotten.

"I don't know, you should have been told. Yup, everyone's back for the summer! Including old Onny here." The man gazed lovingly at the elephant, but Joshua was now looking at only Rupert.

"Everyone? So...Tanya's back too?" He asked, I couldn't help catching a slightly different tone in his voice.

"Yes, Tanya too! The whole gang, including a few extras! You'll have to meet Bryon, he's about your age. This should be a fun summer!" He said and then looked over Joshua's shoulder. "Who is this? A new, young gymnast aiming to kick us old fogeys out of the game?" He winked at me. Joshua turned around, seeming to remember with a shock that I was still there.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I never introduced you two! Mallory, this is Rupert, he's just another circus guy that I know who's been traveling..." Joshua winked and continued. "Rupert, this is Mallory, she's living with her dad, Dan, here." I stepped forward to shake Rupert's hand.

"As for me being a gymnast, no way! It wasn't actually my choice to come here." I didn't say it with any bitterness, but it just seemed to come out wrong. I dropped the man's hand and lowered my eyes. Thankfully, Joshua was quick to shake off the awkwardness.

"And this is Onny, the elephant! A fine one indeed." Joshua motioned to the elephant. Rupert laughed.

"That's right! Would you like to take a ride?" He asked kindly. I froze. Take a ride? On the elephant?! I looked up to the top of the beast. Oh...

"I've never ridden an elephant before..." I started. I could practically see the evil thoughts being passed between Rupert and Joshua.

"There's nothing to worry about! He's as gentle as a lamb, a great big baby!" Rupert said and rubbed the leathery flank. I looked up at the elephant and couldn't help imagining an angry lamb and a crying baby. Both very unpleasant.

"I don't know..." I mumbled. Joshua put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll ride with you if you want. I've been on Onny tons of times!" He offered. I looked at him, them back to the elephant. It might be fun. I took a deep breath. If I was willing to go on rides at Six Flags I should be able to get on an elephant. There might not be any gaurentee or liability but - it could be fun.

"Ok! I'll do it, but only if you come up with me!" I beamed, "After all, it isn't like anything bad can happen! It's not my birthday." I laughed awkwardly at my sensitive joke and backed away as Rupert put Onny down on his knees.

It was a time trying to climb up on the elephant. It wasn't anything like a horse, which I have ridden before. Joshua got on after me, and then clicked at the elephant to raise him up.

And up.

And up.

Onny was smaller than some elephants, but I was still waiting for him to get all the way up, watching as the world receded.

This is amazing! Joshua had one hand placed lightly on the small of my back, just letting me know he was there. Onny started walking slowly, causing Josh and me to move dangerously back and forth. The top layer of the elephant's skin rolled gently taking us with it. The elephant had short hairs all over him as well, tickling the inside of my legs. I could feel myself moving as I hung on for dear life, the elephant's ears flapping across my legs. Joshua must have been able to feel the tension in my back.

"Are you doing all right?" Joshua asked in my ear. I turned around to look at him, surprised by the grin on my face. I knew it was the silliest smile ever, but I couldn't help it. It was so neat! It felt crazy to be riding an elephant, and in Wisconsin no less! Laughter escaped me again as Rupert led the elephant on.

"Where shall I lead you?" Rupert called up. Joshua and I answered the same.

"Everywhere!"

So he did. He led us close to the tents, and people saw us and came over, laughing. Everyone just seemed so happy! I smiled down from my perch, waving like a queen. I could hear Joshua laughing at me, his breath on the nape of my neck. His laughter only made my grin wider. I saw my father below and he looked up at me, beaming. I waved down to him and blew a kiss.

I just knew when I woke up that morning it would be different.

The rest of the day went something like that, although without the elephant. I had fun roaming around and talking to the people I had been avoiding for all this time, ironic as that may be. Joshua made sure I learned everyone's name.

"This is Kaisa, one of our crew girls. It's not often you find a girl on crew, but Kaisa can handle it."

I held out my hand after Joshua's introduction, doing my best to smile pleasantly at the girl in front of me. I didn't have any doubt that she could handle it. She only came up to about my nose but what she lacked in height she made up for in width. She was almost double my size wide, but I had no doubt that a majority of it was muscle. She only seemed to be a good 5 years older than I was but her eyes seemed to tell years of trouble. Trouble that she was clearly having trouble letting go.

She tossed her head in a manner resembling a horse, flopping her short, massively curly hair away from her face. For a moment I thought she was going to offer her hand but instead she just brushed away even more dirty-blonde locks away from her eyes.

"So, you're Dan's kid."

I let my hand drop casually back to my side. Her obvious rejection had somehow made it feel twenty times heavier than it really was.

"That's right, I'm here for the summer."

She gave a grunt of acknowledgement and then, with a nod to Joshua, turned and stalked off. He shifted on his feet, visibily uncomfortable.

"Well, normally she's at least a little sociable..." He gave me a sheepish look. I quickly pressed my hand to my mouth to stifle my giggle. Even this sour Kaisa girl wasn't going to break my mood today.

"And I thought I was crabby!" My smile became wider only as Joshua laughed aloud to my joke. There was something invigorating about making that boy laugh.

"Come on, I have to do some practicing before the day is out. Will you come watch?" His eyes pleaded with mine. I felt a familiar gurgle in my stomach. Go watch him defy death at dizzying heights? That wasn't my cup of tea.

I considered declining but knew I couldn't. He had just made this one of the best days I've had in a really long time. I could only return the favor.

As I slowly nodded and those brown eyes with green flecks lit up, I knew I had done the right thing. I just didn't know if I would like it.

I followed him into the Big Top and he did his best to keep his tricks safe. I wouldn't let him go more than a few feet off the ground. Thankfully, that was enough for him to show me some really neat tricks. Once I stopped focusing on the danger aspect I started to appreciate what he was doing. It took serious guts.

I watched him until hunger started to set in and he informed me that he was going to have to seriously practice his routine - which meant going higher and no talking. I thought it would be the proper time to bow out.

"I had fun today. Thanks for letting me tag along with you."

Joshua laughed, rolling his eyes. "Tag along? Come on, I wouldn't have done any of those cool things if you weren't there next to me. I was tagging onto you as much as you were to me." He gave me a soft smile and I felt a pull in my stomach. He had a way of giving me wonderful comments with unquestionable ease.

I could only smile, lower my eyes, and walk away.

The day had gone by much too fast. I was surprised to exit the big tent and see the sun setting.

On a whim, I went over to the children's carosel to sit and reflect a little. The heat of the day still held to the air, but the humidity had gone down. I could see the fireflies dancing against the line of white pine trees on the far side of the circus. I hopped up on a cool, golden stallion. I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning against the candy striped pole.

So much had changed in the past few days - the past few weeks. I had never realized before how everything really could change in an instant - everything. Children always hear people tell them to cherish everything. You're supposed to take advantage of the good things you have while you still have them, because it really can be all gone in an instant. I always knew, from my mother's death, that something can be taken away from you. But even when that had happened, I still had the same life with my aunt where I could be comfortable.

Then when my aunt died, my life was all turned upside down. I not only lost her, but my friends, my house, and my entire style of living. I might still be in Wisconsin, but I might just as easily could have gone to Asia.

The funny thing was, for all my moping and doping I had done at the start and all the resentment I had felt for my father and his decisions, I realized I was lucky to be at the circus. I was around beautiful people who were doing a job they loved. A circus wasn't a career, it was a life. That took me seventeen years to figure it out.

I allowed myself to slide off the old metal horse and walked back to the trailer. Even with my revelation it was hard not to be mixed up. I had once heard that were twelve stages of the grieving process. I could take a guess that I was probably just barely past 'denial' - and that was just with my mother's death.

I brushed the thought away as I stepped into the trailer and kicked off my shoes. I was determined to go to sleep and simply think of the fun day I had just experienced.

And what a day it was.


"Circus Monkeys -- Chap 4"