Shielded against Life

Shielded against Life revised

Though, you are not here close to know who I am today;

Inside, I still do not feel that you are all that far away.

I can sit embraced in my protective lover's circle;

But, I feel so alone as I am denied love's miracle.

I feel the fear and the pressure I know as despair;

But, I do not trust her to really understand and care.

I was open to love's embrace once in my life;

But, that love was twisted and bled me like a knife.

Now I shield myself without knowing how;

I haven't found the key to drop the protective shroud.

The abuse is gone from my life, yet still very much here;

All I want is for the remembered past to be gone so I can feel my love so near.


Revised June 15, 2014: I added punctuation as recommended by JenP; I also compressed line 8 with a word change. You can still read the original--first draft poem below to see the changes made.


Shielded against Life

Though, you are not here close to know who I am today

Inside, I still do not feel that you are all that far away

I can sit embraced in my protective lover's circle

But, I feel so alone as I am denied love's miracle

I feel the fear and the pressure I know as despair

But, I do not trust her to really understand and care

I was open to love's embrace once in my life

But, that love was twisted so that it bled me like a knife

Now I shield myself without knowing how

I haven't found the key to drop the protective shroud

The abuse is gone from my life yet still very much here

All I want is for the remembered past to be gone so I can feel my love so near


February 12, 2002