A Letter To God

Dear Jesus,

Why are people so rigid and cruel? People that I have done nothing too, people that don't even know me, and never took the time to know me, judge me, hurt me, and go out of their way to cause me pain. What is it about me that is so powerful that whatever I do or say, even if it has nothing in the world to do with them, they judge? "Good Morning" cannot even be spoken to them without receiving a sneer, or a ill-spoken word behind my back in return.

I used to think it was because I was a woman in a man's world. Because I was a good cop, and some men weren't ready for good female cops....but I don't believe that is it at all. I believe that on the surface that is what they would claim, but it runs much deeper than that. I believe that it is because I am saved...and they are not. I believe that the demonic things that have attached themselves to these people, look into my eyes, and see you. I no longer believe my fight is with the man in the flesh, but rather the devil in the spirit. I know Lord that when they mock me, they have first mocked you. I know too Lord that I should pray for them and not hate them.

Why is it so hard to do such a simple thing Jesus? My heart wants to do what is right in your eyes, but it does hurt and anger me so; the things they do. It makes no difference to them that I have never done anything to them, or anything in general, to warrant the treatment I receive...Is that how it was like with you, when you were on this Earth? I can't even compare that, You were perfect....still are perfect. I am very far from that, but still I did nothing to them to generate this hate they have within. Is it hate from the devil for you?

Please Jesus, help me to not hate them. Please help heal the hurt, and forgive them through me. Please Lord, love them through me, so that despite their actions, I can still see them on the street, smile, and say "Good Morning". Lord, bless them and lead them to You, Jesus, so that their eyes may be opened and their ears may be unstopped.

I can't wait until your return Lord. I hope I get to be caught up in the clouds with you. In heaven, with you, none of this will have ever even mattered. But, it feels like such a war down here. Jesus, keep me fighting on your side. Don't let me get so caught up with hurt, that I fight in a way that is not pleasing to you. I want to fight as you would Lord, with love and prayer and intercession. I want to be a General in your Army, and I want my fight to be in the spiritual realm, not with flesh and blood.

I love you more than I hurt; so you can erase the pain. I care more for what you think Jesus, then what they think; so I can remember to do the right thing instead of the easy thing. But, strengthen me Lord so I do not falter. Cover me in your blood so that I do not fail. Help me to stand fast by sending others to hold me when I cannot hold myself. And when others are not available, please, grab my hand and help me. I can do nothing by myself Lord, but I can do all things through you when you strengthen me. Give me your Joy Lord, for my strength, so that I can laugh instead of cry. Give me wisdom and discernment, so that I know how to stay on the narrow path, and am not tricked by the devil. Bless those that hurt me, and keep your hand always upon me.

I love you Jesus. I'm glad you are always there to listen, but I wish I could see you. I know you are coming soon, and I am excited about that. Please write back so that I am encouraged. Love forever and always, Me.