Love Substitute

substituting lust for love, written in high school

When he puts me on a pedestal
I feel good about myself.
Yet when down I look I realize
it is really just a shelf.

A shelf for storing trinkets,
a space for keeping toys,
things used to entertain
hurt and stupid little boys.

He tells me that I'm his girl,
that others cannot touch-
but when it comes to caring
he does show it much.

It isn't that I love him,
or that I deeply care.
Still it hurts inside to know
that he'll just leave me here.

Until one day, when he gets bored
or when other romances fail,
that's the time he will creep back
just begging me for thrills.

Then I know I'll tell him,
"okay", "yes," and, "sure"
because deep down inside my heart
I know that I'm not cured.

I do not have the will
to refuse his selfish lust.
For this young woman, sadly,
to be needed is a must.

When I think of how he treats me
it makes me raving mad.
Still, in him I find a substitute
for the love I've never had.