Darkness Becomes Me

Needed to stop my heart from bleeding

At first, I didn't notice. Then I realized! I'm bleeding. My heart is bleeding. Again! It's been going on for so long. Still, I'm not used to it. I need to stop this bleeding. I can't sleep when it's bleeding. I'm so damn tired.



Lit the woody Mahogony candle. Slightly opened the window beside me. It's a cold, foggy night. Took a few deep breaths. Didn't work. Still bleeding.
I switched off the lights. Everything's pitch black. Sat on my bedroom floor on the soft, green rug. Closed my eyes. Sat still. Tried not to take deep breaths. With tightened and tense muscle, I kept waiting. Waiting for it to happen when I'd feel my mom's cold hand on my forehead, her anxious voice calling my father, "don't you see your daughter is sick? Why don't you call a doctor?!" --- Nah! Didn't happen. I shouldn't be sad though. It rarely happens. But I need to stop this damn bleeding. I'm so freaking tired!



As a last resort, I want outside. It was dark everywhere except a dim streetlight far away from my apartment. I walked. And walked. And walked. My feet felt exhausted. I stood by the lake. Calm, dark, water. So peaceful. I heard sudden screeching and rustling. Three birds started to fly toward me, then suddenly changed their flight path and started flying over the water. My heart wouldn't stop bleeding. I sensed a light, cool breeze over my face. The dark water. So peaceful. Maybe I can sleep at last? So, I embraced the darkness and its coolness. Darkness became me.