Fight

Turmoil within struggles to come out of disorganized thoughts.

She walked among them, searching for peace, searching for calmness. Her noisy mind shouted shouldn't, wouldn't, and couldn't through and through. She didn't believe they could hold her down, but they did. Her thoughts kept her there, in the same place for years and years.
When she prayed for deliverance from them, they refused to leave. It seems they made a home there in her mind. They kept her from being productive, from flourishing to completing anything she tried to create.
Interrupted.
Like fronts clashing together, her thoughts fought, creating a storm with little resolve.
Then she learned. She had to will herself to control her thoughts. She argued within. She meditated without. She declared resolve. She broke the cycle, holding on to her routine and reminding herself what was important to her. She asked herself what she wanted.
When the thoughts responded, "Organization. Presence. Physicality."
She knew what she had to do. Bring them to life through words. Many characters were in her mind, but they faded like shadows when she allowed distraction and duty to prevail.
The secret: her routine. Writing every morning after bible study. Many authors have routines. The prolific ones do the same thing everyday so that they know where they are going.
Learning about self, and knowing self helps to create that routine.


I had so many things thrown at me. Now, I see writing as a necessity. It keeps my mind pensive. Keep the amyloids away. Menopause has given me liberty and a kickass attitude to do what I was meant to do. Write.