How to ace a job interview

I had just gotten fired from a traveling job selling furniture. I had followed my boss as we drove from Connecticut all the way to Arizona. driving like 16 hours a day for 2 days. Our job was in Phoenix, and we were checking into a hotel with about 6 hours to drive the next morning. I pissed the boss off so bad that night that she fired me the next morning. I stole $200 and her bag of weed while she showered and jumped in the car headed back to Charlotte. I crashed on a buddy's couch while I tried to figure out my next move. He worked for a commercial plumbing/pipefitting company and his boss had asked him to install the plumbing in a new house he was building. My buddy said I could be his helper on that job and after, maybe I could get hired on with his company. I wasn't keen on becoming a plumber, welder, or pipefitter, but I needed a job and quick, so I agreed. It was a two-day job, and the second day found my buddy crawling around underneath the house, and me sitting outside handing him whatever he needed through the small opening for the crawlspace. It was very dark in the crawl space and the ground was covered with huge sheets of black plastic. There was barely enough room for my buddy to get off his belly under there, so most of the time he was laying down and alligator crawling around. Suddenly, I heard him say "Holy shit!" and then it's just black plastic ruffling and him trying to crawl as fast as he can to get out. He literally shot out from under the house, and he was obviously distressed. "What's up Brett?" I asked him. "There's a big fucking snake in there under that plastic! I put my hand on it and felt it move!" I thought he was going to have a heart attack. He was breathing hard and shaking. "I can't go back under there man." "What kind of snake?" I asked. "I couldn't see it--it's too dark in there. But it's big man." Brett said. Then he repeated, "I can't go back under there." We were almost finished at this point, and it was like 4:30, so I tried to convince him to go in and finish up quick, but there was no way. Dude WAS NOT going back under that house. About this time, his boss Cecil, the head honcho for the whole company pulls up with his wife. He's expecting the job to be finished and has come to inspect and pay when Brett tells them about the snake. For about 10 minutes Brett, Cecil and his wife talk about the snake and how much they hate snakes, etc. Meanwhile, I want to get paid and go home. So, I say to them, let me go take a look. I shoot under the house before they can really start trying to talk me out of it. It is very dark, and the crawl space is huge. The only light is from the entrance hole, but from it I can see that the plastic is laid out in long sheets. at least 4 of them. I move slowly, feeling around the plastic with my hands. As I get farther from the entrance, the light fades and it is almost completely dark when I feel something slither away from under my hand. It felt big. Slowly I started guiding the slithering back towards the opening. It takes a few minutes to get it where I want it, but I steer it towards a seam between two plastic sheets. When it stuck its head out from under the plastic sheet, I grabbed it right behind the head. It was a big snake, and it wrapped around my arm all the way to my shoulder. I still couldn't see what kind it was, but I had it gripped securely. I started making my way towards the opening. Now the whole time I'm under there, the 3 outside are asking all kinds of questions, but I didn't answer. I worked my way to the opening, and I shoved my snake arm out first--all the way. I heard the old man's wife gasp, and I think she nearly fainted. I climbed out from under the house with a huge black snake covering one arm. I told the bossman Cecil that it was a black snake, and I would free it in a nearby grove of trees as black snakes keep rats and other pests away. When I came back, Cecil said, "We're starting a new job Monday. That new hospital in Monroe. You want a job?" I said, "Honestly sir I don't know the first thing about your line of work. I don't want to waste your time or money." Cecil said, "Hellfire son! You can catch snakes if you don't do nothing else!" So I started Monday. My job? I was supply manager. I had 6 semi-trailers full of copper and steel pipe and fittings, and a whole yard full of flanges, gas bottles, pipe, etc--everything a company would need to install all the plumbing in a hospital. I had two other guys that loaded a pickup and took whatever was needed to the jobsite. Great job for 6 months and never had to catch another snake.