Man Found With A Live Turtle By TSA

999 words

Man Found With A Live Turtle Concealed In His Pants By TSA

Sam Metcalf, a burley Black TSA veteran, thought he had seen it all in his 30-year career until he met Tommy and Joey Turtle as they became known.

It started out as a routine stop.

Tommy Turtle went through the line, but there was something strange in his pants pocket. When they patted him down they found a live turtle who popped out of his pants and glared at Mr. Metcalf as he fell to the ground and tried to move on. Mr. Metcalf ,taken a back, said,

“What’s your name?”

“Tommy Turtle.”

“I see and Mr, Turtle, why do you have a turtle in your pants pocket?”

“Joey the turtle is my emotional support animal. I have a doctors note.” he said handing the agent a piece of paper from the vet who owned the store that sold Tommy his more than 50 turtles.

The letter read,

“Tomy Turtle is suffering from a delusional belief that turtles are secret alien invaders and they communicate with him throuh telepathic messages. Tommy believes he needs to travel with his turtles, who are watching out for him and keeping out of harms way. Tommy is delusional but he does have a emotional need to travel with his turtle bodyguard so please let him through with his pet turtle, Joey. Joey is an emotional support animal per the definition of emotional support animals which is not limited to dogs and cats but can include other animals including turtles for example. BTW, Tommy Turtle is otherwise harmless and not on drugs.”


Mr. Metcalf said,

“Sir, I have to consult with the higher ups. Please have a seat. It may take a few minutes.”

Mr. Metcalf found Tom Jones, the shift agent in charge of the TSA screening line,.having his usual cup of coffee in the back office, watching the camera feed showing the TSA receiving lines.

“Tom, you won’t believe this.” And handed him the note.

Tom laughed, said,

“Well, that is the weirdest thing all day. I knew it would be a weird day, being the Blood Red moon night, after all. Oh well, let’s ask ChatGPT to verify that turtles can be on the list of emotional support animals.”

The answer came back

──────────────────────────────
SUMMARY OF TSA/DOT REGULATIONS
ON EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMALS
1. Service Animal Definition and Emotional Support Animals:
Under the Air Carrier Access Act (ACAA), the final rule (effective since December 2020) defines a service animal as a dog that is individually trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of a person with a disability. The rule expressly states that animals other than dogs—including emotional support animals, comfort animals, companionship animals, and animals in training—are not considered service animals. As a result, airlines are no longer required to allow emotional support animals free of charge or in the aircraft cabin; instead, they are treated under the airline’s pet travel policies.

2. Documentation Requirements:

For service animals (i.e. dogs meeting the definition), airlines may require a U.S. DOT form attesting to the animal’s health, behavior, and training—for example, on flights lasting eight or more hours. In contrast, because emotional support animals are not recognized as service animals under the federal rule, any documentation (typically an Emotional Support Animal Letter from a licensed mental health professional) is determined by the airline and is not governed by the DOT requirements.

3. Eligible Animals and the Case of Turtles:

Since only dogs that are individually trained qualify as service animals under federal regulation, animals such as cats, rabbits, or turtles do not fall under the definition. Although an individual may have a licensed professional designate a pet (even a turtle) as an emotional support animal for purposes such as housing or, in some cases, travel under an airline’s pet policy, no federal mandate requires airlines to accommodate these animals in the cabin. In short, a turtle is not “on the list” for the protections afforded to service animals.
──────────────────────────────
VERBATIM TEXT FROM THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION

(As provided in the DOT materials on service animals under the final rule)

"Under the Air Carrier Access Act (ACAA), a service animal means a dog, regardless of breed or type, that is individually trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of a qualified individual with a disability, including a physical, sensory, psychiatric, intellectual, or other mental disability. Animal species other than dogs, emotional support animals, comfort animals, companionship animals, and service animals in training are not service animals."

Tom stoped, and said,

“Well, to sum up, only dogs are on the list, and, turtles are not, and can be banned. Let’s tell Tommy the bad news but offer to take his turtle home and give to your daughter who has fish and turtles herself, and offer to house sit the turtle until he returns. That will be good PR otherwise, well you know how sensitive people can be about these issues.”

Tom went out with Sam, and Sam, told Tommy the bad news.

“We are sorry, but we checked the regs. Turtles are not listed as emotional support animals, only dogs are on the list, and the airline does not consider turtles to be ESA either. So you have to leave the turtle behind. But don’t worry, my daughter likes animals and will take good care of it.”

“Can I have it back after my trip?”

“Sure. here’s my address and phone number.”

“Okay. Joey says that you have a good heart and your daughter as well and neither of us are anti-turtleites, so I accept the condition. I will be back in about two weeks. And just for the record, I can not travel with turtles on planes, right?”

“Yep. Well have a good day. You better hurry along you still have time.”

And Tommy ran off, Joey looked at Sam and tried to show his gratitude but Sam.,unlike Tommy, did not get the telepathic message.

The End


NEW PROMPT DUE 17 hours 24 minutes 56 seconds
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I used “Man found with a live turtle concealed in his pants by TSA at a New Jersey airport”

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