Morning Train

Word Count: 998

Morning Train

One morning, Joe Lewis received a cryptic message on his cell phone. It read:

"Joe Lewis,

Your final status update is a week from tomorrow 6 a.m. in Limbo Station. To get to Limbo Station, please arrive at the Caltrans downtown SF station for a 4 a.m special train which will be marked ‘morning train.’ Note this is before the station normally opens at 5 a.m. It is a special train heading to Limbo, Hell, and Heaven destinations.

Since you have not yet had your status determination hearing, you will get off at the first destination, Limbo Station, and wait for your hearing. The train’s destination is Heaven Station, but most people get off at Limbo or Hell Station. Prepare an overnight bag. Tell no one where you are going. You may not be coming back so please put your affairs in order.

Present this case number to the demon functionary. The typical tip is 100 dollars, but they always demand more.

Joe Lewis
Human
Final status determination hearing 6 a.m. February,
Limbo Case number: jl551029577859620
Seat number: 76F"

Joe thought this was a weird joke but met with his lawyer to make sure his will was up to date. On the 9th, his phone rang at 3 a.m.

"Is this the human Joe Lewis?"

"Yes. Who are you?"

"Your Limbo Express Uber driver. I am outside. Please hurry. You cannot be late
for the train."

Joe grabbed his go bag, muttered good night to his wife, and went outside, still convinced it was some sort of joke. The driver was dressed in black and had a pan-ethnic look that could be almost any nationality.

Joe attempted to ask him questions, but the driver pointed at a sign:

"No questions, please. All will be explained at the station. Make sure you have your notice which was sent to your phone with you."

He got to the station and saw a large crowd milling around. He thought he knew who was going to Hell and who was going to Heaven. He saw an attendant, showed him his ticket, and paid him a tip.

The attendant snarled, "If you give me 500, I can get you on the Heaven Express."

"Sorry, that’s all I got."

He looked up at the next car, the Hell car, and saw lots of people who looked like they were celebrities. They seemed to be having a good time. The Heaven cabin was almost empty.

One of his cabin mates, Sandra, spoke up, "I would advise you not to go to the Hell car. Once you drink Hell liquor at the party, you may never return to Earth. They are all going to the other place. You do not want to go there, I assume."

She pointed out the partygoers, who ignored Joe and the passengers in the Limbo and Heaven trains. Many of them were infamous figures, including anti-vaxxer crusaders, bar owners, celebrities, corrupt politicians of both American
parties, including governors, representatives, senators, drug dealers, members of the British parliament and parliaments around the world, criminals, crooked cops, fake ne gangbangers, gangsta rappers, internet bloggers, idiots in both high and low places, "criminal lawyers," media darlings, pharma bros, scumbags, scoundrels, Wall Street executives, thugs, Italian, Korean, Japanese yakuza, and Vietnamese mafia figures.

"Have you been here before?"

"Yeah, I was given a reprieve and told to come back for another review. My name i

Sandra, by the way."

"Joe Lewis."

They chatted for a while, and the train took off. It soon entered a dark tunnel, went down a long, straight tunnel, and finally pulled into a train station. They got off the train and followed the crowds. There was a huge signboard that flashed names in multiple languages, including English, as there were quite a few Earth people milling around.

Some time later, a demon came over and gave them some breakfast—coffee hot as hell, fried eggs, and a burger. And decent coffee.

The demon hissed, "Finish your breakfast. Then follow me to your appointment with Mr. GR."

He followed the demon through the crowd and found himself in an office where the Grim Reaper, a giant humanoid dressed in a black suit with a demonic pan-ethnic look, could be almost any nationality but looked vaguely alien. He wore cool sunglasses and was looking at a computer screen.

The Grim Reaper barked out, "Your name?"

"Joe Lewis."

"DOB: 10-29-1955"

"POB: Oakland, California"

"Hmm, there seems to be some sort of computer mistake. Limbo is filled with bureaucrats and the red tape takes forever. The computer system is always crashing. What can you expect? Well, it is hard to get tech support in Heaven or Limbo; all the tech folks tend to go to Hell. You are not due here for another five years. I can send you back for five years. The next review is for real. My advice to you is to get your act together, quit drinking your life away. Invest in biomedical tech stocks, AI medical research stocks, and new body technology stocks—coming soon. And do the right thing."But what do I know? Then you will be back for Judgment Day. You all need to meet your creator on Judgment Day. That’s the date you learn your fate. Whether it will be Hell or Heaven is not up to me to decide. Afraid that’s beyond my pay
grade, beyond my jurisdiction, as I am just the Grim Reaper who is supposed to lead the dead on to their next life.

"Are you ready to return?"

"Sure."

Joseph Lewis woke up in bed next to his wife. He got up, turned on his computer, and read the following message:

"Mr. Joe, I hope you enjoyed your tour last night. We determined that it was not yet your time. Your friend, Sandra made it fine and sends her regards. The drinks are on her when you and your wife finally make it.

"Your friend,

Mr. GR the Grim Reaper."