Once Lost; Now Found

Gloria lay with the sheet pulled up to her chin. Immobile. Is this what became of her life? To be a punching bag for a brute of a man. Where had that sweet man she married gone?

All her dreams and hopes for her future were dashed the first time he had hit her. His cruel words chipped away at any hope she had of resurrecting them. They were dashed out to sea. Long gone. Barely remembered.

She was hopelessly lost. Losing this baby had been the last straw. She hadn't wanted to get pregnant. And when she had, she prayed something like this would happen. No child deserved to live this kind of life. Isolated and beaten. Made to feel worthless and useless.

She stared up at the ceiling. Tears pooled in her eyes. Her hands cradled her abdomen. She felt so utterly alone.

The room was silent except for the murmur of hospital sounds on the other side of the door. A moment of blissful peace.

Here in this moment, Gloria dared to feel safe.

Then the door opened, the hospital sounds rushed in and all flickerings of freedom and safety vanished. Gloria flinched as if she was waiting for a slap to collide with her skin. She quickly hid the reaction as her hands pressed into her midsection.

"Doc tells me you lost it," said the low voice.

The accusatory tone cut across Gloria's senses like nails on a chalkboard. She closed her eyes trying to hide from the man who glared down at her. She could feel his glare rather than see it.

It was a familiar look that seemed to pull his once handsome face into that of a monster. Alone like this, his look was one that seemed to be common place. Without looking, she knew his hands were tightened into fists. Rage boiled in him.

"Can't even hold onto a baby. What kind of woman are you?" The words were low. They grated over her nerves, leaving her feeling so exposed, raw and vulnerable. She longed to curl into a fetal position, but the pain of his abuse held her prone.

She tensed as the acid of his words burned into her skin.

"Fuckin' bitch. Can't do anything right." His voice seethed and hissed like a snake ready to strike. It sent a tremor of fear through her body. She hoped being in a public space would deter him from touching her, twisting her arm, flexing his own power.

Gloria squeezed her eyes tight fighting the sting of tears that threatened to flow.

"You did this -" he said, his voice very close to her now. She could smell the bourbon on his breath.

The door opened again and the sounds of the hospital pouring in seemed to act as a buffer. She heard him straighten up and step back and knew he had pulled his features into one of a concerned partner.

"Is she going to be okay, doctor?" he asked. His voice, now tender and sweet.

"She will be, but a loss like this, this late in her pregnancy will take time."

"Will we be able to have others?...."

"Yes. I see no reason she won't be able to make it to full term. She is healthy."

Gloria opened her eyes then and looked over at the doctor. "Is my mother coming?"

"Yes, the nurse said she called her."

Gloria kept her eyes on the doctor. Gary had shifted further back and she could feel his vile stare boring into her. He had refused to call her mother when she had asked. No, pleaded. That's why she had secretly asked the nurse.

She prayed the doctor would stay. Not leave her alone with Gary. Even from here she could feel the flames of his discontent. The raging cauldron threatened to boil over and spill its filth into the room.

After several moments, he asked, "When can she come home," Again his voice sounded sweet, full of concern. But she could hear the tension barely held back.

"I'd like to keep her in over night," the doctor said, looking into her face.

"That isn't the usual thing -"

"Nothing to worry about. Just routine tests just to make sure she is fine."

"But you said she was healthy. Can't we get out of here?" Some of the honey sweetness had left his voice. The tension was beginning to fray.
Gloria tensed and the doctor pressed his lips together.

"I'm going to have the nurse take you down for the tests." he told her, then turning to Gary, he said, "It won't take too long, Mr. Anderson."

As he spoke a big, burly nurse rolled a wheelchair into the room. "All ready for ya, Ms. Gloria. We're going to get you right fixed up."

"But..." Gary sputtered.

"You are welcome to wait here, Mr. Anderson. She won't be long." The nurse said sweetly.

The nurse helped Gloria out of the hospital bed and into the wheelchair. "Got everything ready for ya, Ms. Gloria."

Gloria nodded. She kept her gaze on the nurse and gave a weak smile to the doctor as they moved past.

"Shan't be long, sir." the nurse said as they headed out the door.

The nurse whisked the wheelchair down the hall and into the elevator before Gary could catch up.

Once the doors were firmly closed, the nurse said, "Your mother has a fresh set of clothes and the items you requested. She'll take you away from that brut. Get you safe."

"Thank you." Gloria said, her voice a rasp of pain.

She'd lost her baby and the guilt of that loss combined with the guilt of relief at having lost it made her tears ripple down her face.
"He won't touch you again." The nurse reassured her in soothing tones.

The tears tumbled out all the more at the nurse's kind tone.

She'd been lost. The baby had been lost and maybe, just maybe she could be found. Somewhere she could remember who she was and what her dreams were. All she needed to do was have a fresh start. This was her fresh start.

Six months later Gloria rushed over to her mother's house. Her skin was flushed and healthy as she bounded up the back steps of the porch.
"Mama," she called, unable to hide the excitement in her voice.

Her mother met her just inside the door whipping her hands on a towel before flipping it back over her shoulder.

"I got in, Mama. They accepted my application to the creative writing program."

"Oh, Gloria. That is the best news."

Her mother buzzed about fixing a pot of tea to celebrate.

They sat in the shade of the grove of trees. Gloria kicked off her shoes as she said, "I never thought I would ever go back to school...."

"You did the right thing, my girl. Just promise me, you will focus on your studies and not let some boy twist your mind into thinking he could be your world."

Gloria nodded solemnly before taking a sip of tea. "Never again, Mama. I promise. I put my whole heart into my studies. I will make you proud."

"You don't need to make me proud, I already am. You are my girl and I am glad you had the courage to step up and find yourself again."


Word count = 1229.