These Trials

Chapter 1: Never Too Late

I always ask myself ‘Where am I?’ As the sun is bleeding tears through the sky. With this nightmare that has turned real. So I say a little prayer as I say “Goodbye my love. After the end is where we'll meet.” seems to lose meaning causing me to question the future ahead and after death there is no silence. Even from the dead. My name is Eli Hawke and after the dramatic shift in my life caused me to question everything and everyone now that the events of the dead rising , making me wonder if there is even a future anymore.

That same question hits me as I remember having to put my girlfriend down due to her being bitten and we knew she would turn. The world seems to shift with each new place we visit. At night I always look at the locket that had the pictures of us from before. Ever on I continue around this carousel of agony that strains my heart from losing my beloved.

After what felt like forever we make it back to the ruins that we made our home. A ruined mall with a huge rusted unused crane sits unmoving is used as a watch tower from any dangers the outside can hold. I get out of the van. “Anything out there?” A guy asks but I just shrug and hand over a backpack of what I found. “Not much on my end, but that hospital wasn't entirely bad, but we lost four people including my girlfriend Judy Rose.”

Ian, the guy I handed my bag to just stands there. “You mean there was death and you guys still stayed out that whole week.” I just turned around still kind of angry. “Ask the know-it-all leader of the scouts. Carson why we did. We should've come back once Tyler was bit the first day. We’d saved three others but he didn't want to come back until we got supplies from Pine View Estates which was the closest military checkpoint that got overrun from before this all happened.” I say as Ian starts to yell at Carson.

I just made my way to the food court where some people stay scattered. “Hey, Eli. Looks like you had a shit week.” I just scoff as I see Veronica say as she grabs her notepad. “What will it be today?” I just pointed at some eggs and biscuits that were on the makeshift menu. “And a whiskey on ice. I need to forget about the last scouting mission we were on. Desperately.”

“What happened Eli? Was it that bad?” Veronica asks as she hands over a tall glass with some ice filled to the brim of a brown liquid that smelled strong of alcohol. “A small group snook up on us the last day and my girl Judy came with got bitten. Before we left she begged me to put her down and she didn't want to turn. So I shot her. That was a couple of days ago. I wanted to beat and even kill Carson myself, but didn't want to be exiled.” I explain taking a good little slug from the whiskey. Veronica listened, “Been pretty numb since. Ben, Carly, Keith, and Judy…It was horrible.” I say and Veronica just leaves the bottle.

It was a little bit of silence as I slowly eat my food. I keep getting visions of Judy's smile. I have been thinking about ways to keep her memories alive and I would take that coldness from her eyes, but her last words to me still echo, “If you love me, let me die.” Those words seared right into my memory. It wasn't too long when Ian walks up. “Sorry about your loss, kid.” I just glare at him, “Carson says they were being reckless, but Frank said they weren't. I'm going to bring this up to Mari and Riese. He's broken too many rules of scouting safely.”

“I don't care about that anymore.” I say as I swallow my biscuit. “I just want to be left alone.” I say taking another big drink out of my glass. “I'm mad at Carson, even wanted to kill him myself. Even if he didn't kill my love. His choices did.” I say refilling the glass and Ian grabs the bottle.

“Well trying to find the answer inside of a bottle will just lead to dumb decisions. I know it hurts, but she wouldn't want to see you like this.” Ian says as he places the bottle near Veronica who took the bottle and placed it on the shelf behind her.

“What do you care? She's gone, the last connection I had from before all of this. Most my crew died my parents, my sister. A man named Richard. A girl named October, a kid named Tyler. Vernin. Now the scouting party and my love.” I explain feeling tears running down my face. “This fucking sucks.” I say as Ian pats my back.

“Life doesn't have to suck. These trials make us who we are. They help heal our scars and we just move along and hope that life doesn't take a shit on your journey.” Ian says as he gives me a weak smile. “People make us who we are whether they came from before the turn or after. Some are forged from regret while other saved us.” I just look at Ian and finally break the silence on my end.

“Maybe I need to move myself. Try to get out of this darkness.” I say as Ian looks at me with confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

Veronica leans near us as I take the last bite of my food. “I think he means leave and figure things out.” I just nod my head since I couldn't find the words myself. “Yeah…” I say as I finish my drink.

“You know it's not safe out there. If you leave there is a chance you won't come back.” Ian says with concern, tinging his voice.

“Honestly I don't care. Judy was my everything. She was the one who found this spot about a year or two ago.” I say, “Everything around here just reminds me of her and I seem to can't stop thinking about her.” I say and I can see Veronica glance at Ian.

“Just stay for a couple of days before you make that decision.” Ian says as Veronica give me some water. “If you decide to leave. I can come with you. So you are not alone.” I just give him a scoff as I just lean into my hands looking at the picture of Judy and I when we were kids inside of a mall photo booth.

“She's a cute girl.” Ian says and I just give a weak smile. “She was more than cute. She was my one and only. When we first met I tripped and scared her and she dropped her coffee on me. It was a rocky start since we were just kids in school.” I say as I remember that day like it was yesterday.

“Sounds like a love story that I used to read.” Veronica says as she rubs my hand. I just chuckle, “Yeah. It was really fun. I remember this day. It was a year after we met…It felt like it was a life time ago. Even more so since all this bullshit happened.” I said as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“Look, hun. I'm sure she's still out there and like Ian said, She wouldn't want to see you like this. Judy would want you to survive for her sake. I knew her pretty well, and when we worked she wouldn't stop talking about you.” Veronica said as I remember when we got here we were finally able to sleep without worry.

“Yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't want to see me looking like a mess.” I say mostly to myself feeling buzzed and disgusting.

“No she wouldn't, but you can keep her memory strong.” Veronica grabs my plate and cup. “Survive, and make life worth living by doing what you could while she's still in here.” She tapped my chest indicating my heart. I just smile and finally after a while of talking about memories I find myself heading back to my room.

“Maybe this is a dream, maybe nothing else is real.” I say as I lay down seeing the night of Crane Town. “Everything will change…” I say to myself as I begin to let the world fade to black.