Prophecy

I know you don't know me, but I wanted to wish you a happy 17th birthday. And besides, I am you! And you are me, sort of. A part of me at least. Or maybe a part of who I am is better phrased.

I have some things to tell you about your journey of life. And I'm going to go straight for the jugular. Which, to be honest, probably won't make any difference in the decisions you make. You've always been self-assured in your heart and your brain. Certain they would guide you through life.

You have lofty ideals: love, always number one for you. We'll circle back to that one soon. Loyalty, empathy. You get close to your friends, don't you? Careful you don't lean on them too hard or without enough care for their boundaries and tolerances. Not all people want to wallow in emotion like you. Unconditional, forever, always. True of heart, true love, uncompromising. "I'd do anything."

These are all great attributes and virtues to put in a novel. But this is real life. People change.

You will change.

Impermanence permeates all existence. And you have a rigid, fragile belief system. Not that it isn't noble, but it isn't always possible in a world filled with change and impermanence. Try to start working on compassion towards change. When others change, when you change, when your circumstances change.

Why?

Because people will do what they do and tear at that idealistic world you want so badly to believe can be made manifest. You will hurt, you will feel pain, and let's face it, you like to wallow in your pain when it hits your heart. This isn't a Hemingway novel, man. You aren't meant to be a martyr, nor will you be a saint for that matter. Martyrs are for being in books and scriptures. You live in your here and now in a complex, sometimes unfair world. Fairy tales are great, but they're just that.

Okay, maybe I didn't go straight for the jugular, but now I will. You know that girl you're in love with? True love, perfect story, you against the world trying to prove to the universe that it can be true.

Scared so much that this world might not always be fair, that you and your ideals can and will be shattered. Your absolutes lay at your feet, broken. You against the world, huh?

Sorry, kid, it's life. It is by nature impermanent, as are all things in it. She'll do things, commit atrocities, that you never thought possible. So will you. When it happened to me, I could feel the fervor for life, a noble life, begin to bleed out from my heart. Take heed, child; taking the concept of impermanence on headfirst is taking on the world The very nature of life itself. You're an ignorant, arrogant fledgling. And by now you hate what I'm writing because you hate anyone who says it can't be done. But, doing absolutely anything to be right will cost you everything. You and I are not without our equal share in the blame for failing so miserably.

How does what I've told you, if you thought it was true, make you feel? It hurts, doesn't it?

Now, reflect on that part of you that likes to wallow in your pain. Many years later, your best friend will say of you, "Adam's favorite drug is his emotions".

And it's true! When life fails to adhere to your self-grandiose ideals, you will be battered with painful emotions. Pain.

You and I like to deal with our pain by anesthetizing it. Yes, you heard me right. What you're dabbling in now, you'll use to make emotional connections with later. You'll use it to suppress pain and use it to uncork pain and let it flow out of you. Emotions and memories and broken razor-sharp shards of ideals spilled out of veins and vomited out onto the floor.

You will wallow in it.

And you yourself will break your ideals. You will break laws. You will break rules. You will break your true love's heart. And you will be left with nothing but your pills, powders, bottles, and a path to wallow in.

I'm sorry the truth hurts.

You're a good guy, Adam. You just never learned to accept defeat and carry on.

Ideals are not bad. In fact, I like that about you. But while you show too much compassion to everyone else, you show so little to yourself. You also show so little compassion to the way life unfolds. You have no tolerance for life being unfair. Or people being unfair. But it will happen.

Try to be more compassionate with the circumstances of life. Try to meet changes with kindness. Be mindful of where your inner self is hurt by the impermanence of all things. And try to heal that hurt every day.

Enjoy the good. There will be spadefuls of it. Store it. Treasure it. And heal the bad. Be mindful of the present. You do have a tendency to live in your head.