Eat some air today

She said it gently, but with her usual firm tone. She raised the empty spoon to my mouth and let it hover while I panicked about what to do.

"Stop being silly, girl. A little air's not going to hurt you. Now hurry up, I have other patients to feed"

I wanted to tell her that I'd eat my air later but I was afraid that she'd shove the spoon into my mouth as soon as I parted my lips, before I even got a syllable out. So instead I pushed her hand away and turned my head. I was painfully aware that I was behaving like a child.

"Come on, it's been 3 days and you haven't had a single molecule of air." Her face turned sombre "Listen to what I've just said and hear how silly that sounds."

Oh God, but I knew that. My face was hot from shame and tears and I felt the knot in my throat getting tighter.

"You need to practice eating the air. If you don't practice what will happen?"
I shied even further away and looked down.

"You die." She answered her own question. "Girl, you're already well on your way. What will your parents say. How will your younger sister feel. Her sister couldn't even eat one spoonful of air"

The thought of my sister having to bury me made me sick. I looked back at the nurse, who was still holding the spoon, and I opened my mouth. I opened it just a little. And my tears didn't stop falling.

The cold empty spoon felt like it filled my whole mouth and choked me. I could taste the metal and it felt like it erroded my tongue.

"There's a good girl! Chew... That's right. Chew just a bit more. Now that wasn't so difficult was it? Maybe next week we can actually put some yoghurt on the spoon and get some meat on your bones." She poked my ribs, teasing me. It hurt.

As she left to convince the next patient to eat something or other, I felt strangely proud. Today air. Next week yoghurt. And in a few short months I'll be chomping down solids without counting the calories. Then, I'll finally be out of this horrible ward.