The Mad Laird Strikes Again

The Mad Laird Strikes Again

996 words

Jason, a retired widower, white American man, 6 feet 2 inches living in Berkeley, had long wanted to do a walk about through the wilds of Scotland. He had long been fascinated with Scottish culture, being part Scot on his Mother's side of the family.

The day finally dawned. He would travel to Lynmouth and walk through the highland moors from Exmoor National Park through the towns of Knowstone, Morchard Bishop, and then through the Dartmoor National Park and end up in Ivybridge where he would take a bus and return to Inverness. He had worked this all out with a Self-Walking Tour company which would provide him with his equipment, food, maps and supplies, meet him in Ivybridge, and transport him back to Inverness. It was in the middle of the spring and the weather had been dismal but clearing up. Jason had budgeted 10 days for the trip, averaging 8.5 miles per day.

The guide, a friendly avuncular Scotsman with a big beer belly and a long flowing beard, ended by recounting the tale of the Mad Laird Ghost of the Highland Moors that delighted in killing innocent hikers. He said that the Ghost is an ancient, cursed creature that kills and eats the bodies of those he kills. No one knows where he came from or even what exactly he was. All they know is that he is active again after a hiatus of several years. Reports have it that he rides up in a fog on a horse. He is always dressed in an ancient laird's outfit and carries an axe and an old hunting rifle. He is always playing the bagpipes and you often will hear the bagpipes playing long before he appears. He always starts by asking where you are going and what your business is on his lands. Depending upon the story, sometimes he executes his victim by axing him, sometimes by shooting him and sometimes he lets them go after threatening them.

Everyone has a good laugh and Jason, in particular, does not believe the story. The authorities dismiss the mad Laird story but say instead that there are some ruffians and highway robbers living in the area that make their living robbing passersby along the lonely trails.

The next day Jason goes out after breakfast and finds the trail head just outside of town and starts walking. He walks by himself for several days, camping out by himself along the trail. There are several improved campsites scattered here and there and Jason manages to find them all right.

One morning he stops in Drewsteignton and decides to break his trip and spend the night. There is a room available at a local inn. He takes a long bath and goes to the local pub named the Mad Laird. The locals are up in arms, there has been a sighting of the Mad Laird and a hiker was found murdered.

Mid day he is walking through a thick forested upland and then emerges from the forest into a wide meadow. As he crossed the meadow a thick fog settles in and soon he is walking by flashlight and is having a hard time seeing the trail. It is cold and dark and he is chilled to the bone. Suddenly he hears the sounds of someone playing the bagpipes. The sound comes closer and then he sees a man dressed in an ancient Laird's custom on a horse. He is six feet seven inches tall, with a long black beard and long black hair. He has piercing blue eyes that are staring at him with a thousand-year-old stare of a maniac or a lunatic. Jason thought to himself, "Just some old man who drank too much whisky and is heading home to sleep"

The man on the horseback stops and looks at Jason and says,

"What are you? And what ye be doing on my lands without me permission? Speak up lad."

Jason, a bit nervous, responds, "I am an American tourist, and am taking a walking holiday. I did not know I was trespassing and if you let me pass I'll be on my way."

The old man on the horseback, barks out, " American, eh? That's what you ungrateful colonials are calling yourselves these days. Well, tell you what. If you can out drink me I will let you live. If not, I have to kill you. That's the deal, take it or leave it colonial."

Jason ponders his options and figures it would be easy as the old man was already drunk. Jason said, "Sure, but I don't have any whisky to offer."

The old man got off the horse, opened up a saddlebag, pulled out an unopened bottle of whisky, and handed it to Jason. Jason started drinking the whisky and hands it off to his host. They exchange bottles and drink mostly in silence. The old man is not very communicative and Jason figures it might be better to not say much as he doubts his host's mental health. Hours later, Jason, very drunk, is about to fall asleep, thinking that his companion has succumbed to the alcohol. The old man though is back in his horse and begins playing the bagpipes. The fog lifts revealing a full moon over the moors. Jason looks up and sees that the light of the full moon is going right through the old man's clothes and body.

Jason screams and jumps up and starts running. The Laird comes after him and raises his axe and Jason's body is found the next day, lying on the moor with his head cut off. Parts of his body had been hacked off and eaten. There was a smoldering fire with human bones in it. A body of whisky is left next to his body and there are horse hoof prints and human prints, some from a very large man, all around the body.
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An urban legend

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