The Takeover

The Takeover by Scott Spence

I should have been suspicious from the outset. After all, I had upset my wife's uncle after running into his cherished Camaro while riding my bicycle as a kid. Even though it had been some sixty years ago, I never really felt he had forgiven me.

He had been gone for about thirty years, now. At some point, the uncle had acquired an African Gray Parrot. Before his passing, he had asked my wife to take the bird. The bird, Peetie, had come to love her and became a fixture in our home. She had left this world ten years ago; so Peetie had become my responsibility. Peetie and I moved into a retirement community; becoming very dependent on each other.

Initially, I had friends over to play cards; but Peetie became jealous. When he started cussing them out constantly and announcing to everyone the cards they were playing; they had stopped coming over. Now it was just Peetie and me.

Because this particular parrot species can talk so much and comprehend; we began to have conversations about almost everything. The life expectancy for this species of parrot was fifty to sixty years; being able to learn hundreds of words and phrases. He began to watch television with me and insisted on watching the Home Shopping Channel. His interests peaked when they began promoting devices to convert your home to a Smart Home.

At first it was simple enough; Alexa came into our home. Peetie convinced me that with other devices, voice commands could control the electrical appliances. The television, lighting, microwave, locks on the doors; almost everything. Next came a voice activated toilet; which I agree was easier for maintenance of Peetie. We even got a touch-activated faucet for the kitchen sink with water temperature controls.

Having become almost unable to walk, Peetie convinced me that a retrieval robot paired with a delivery- bin connected to the front door would allow packaged meals to be delivered. A special robotic arm was installed in the kitchen to open cabinets, open the microwave, and do simple meal preparations. The home became fully automatic and Peetie was quick to realize the new opportunities.

In the middle of the night, I would find him filling the kitchen sink with water for a bath. The toilet was constantly being voice-activated. A robotic vacuum cleaner was working at all hours under Peetie's direction. The police had stopped by on one evening to check on me because lights were flashing on and off in various rooms under Peetie's voice commands. Another occasion I got up after smelling popcorn which he had directed the robotic arm to prepare for him. He was sitting in the lounge chair watching Animal Planet on the television which had been turned on with voice-control.

"You know you love me." He would say in my wife's voice.

One morning a neighbor came over to complain that our robotic lawn mower had been mowing the yard in the middle of the night. Another deployment of a device under Peetie's direction. On top of that, Peetie began imitating the bark of an angry dog to get the man to leave the front door.

He was able to duplicate my voice exactly. Becoming addicted to The Shopping Channel, he was simply calling them on the telephone with Alexa's assistance and placing orders. Having memorized my charge card numbers, passwords, and mailing address; we began to receive packages of all types. Peetie liked various toys, hats, bedspreads, and costume jewelry.

The situation had reached a tipping point. Believe me, if you've ever had an argument with a parrot about their spending habits; it is not fun.

I was aware that my blood pressure had been on the rise. Probably the diet that Peetie had placed me on with food selections ordered in did not help.

The parcel delivery door opened and a package was dropped into the robotic retrieval basket. The humming mechanism promptly brought the package over to me at Peetie's voice command. Inside was a box of select pears from Harry & David Fruit Company in Oregon. I immediately knew who had ordered them.

" Don't they sell bird seed?" I yelled in frustration.

After that, I blacked out. It was two days later when I woke up in a hospital emergency room. Diagnosed with hypertension; someone had called 911 with what they assumed was my voice. I asked to make a call to my house and the telephone was answered by Peetie using voice control to Alexa.

" We will be here waiting for you when you get back." Peetie said.

Before the receiver was disconnected, I heard him say,"Alexa, turn on television; go to Home Shopping Channel."