Too Much

Couldn't feel safe to simply be
Always something following me
Like the land into the sea
Worries were all I could see

So always on I had to be
Never relaxed, never free
Tomorrow a shadow looming ahead
Torturing my mind in yesterday's bed

When I close my weary eyes
Dances of nightmares give rise
To the mistakes I cannot undo
That might have made a difference to you

I am numb most of the time
Falling lower so I can climb
Out of my despairing petri dish
To give you all that you deserve and wish

Yet tomorrow does come and with it hope
A clean slate washed with the cleanest soap
The Christians watch and cry as I begin
To apply my strengths to the hell that I am in

A loss of innocence that cannot be replaced
Happened long before lines framed my face
I would rather walk alone than share my soul
If I have to be in the starring role

I never wrote for love, never felt the heartbreak within
Because before the start began, I always saw the end
I try to escape but I can't lose my mind
Everything feels too much, too much