Through the WIndowsill

Couldn't sit back, couldn't sit still
And play in the light of a windowsill
I hide away in shadows deep
Along the edges I slowly creep
Just like then, I do it now
Even though it's far away
It still haunts me to this day.

So, I sang hymns to bring me peace
So I could hear their melodies
And wonder which one I should lease
It must be gentle and very strong
And make me feel like I belong
I want the sadness inside me
To fade away and set me free

I don't go out much at all
I've never been the type to call
I realize for me to be happy
I may need a little company
So now you know, you know it all
The flight I've flown and my great fall
When it comes to you,
I hide inside away from view
Not resisting, not making it right
I've been an easy opponent in a fight,
Like a flower in a gun, a bird in flight
A bullet used; a shell left behind
Some shards sharp some pieces blind
Of the damage left in kind

I haven't found the peace inside me
But I believe in divinity
I found my life is worth living for someone else
Never thought that I could be happy
Yet I hear the trumpets call from far away
A hymn returned to lift me up
A white dove that follows me
Bringing smiles and a bit of laughter
Even though the canary has not yet returned
From the blackened depths of the coal mine
I'm trapped inside as I glow
Diamonds just need a bit of shining
The growing I've done allows me to shine
Because I can see the light in the dark

I'm on my way, taking the steps
To bring laughter back that has been kept
Just ahead, just out of reach
And tears must fall before I breach
The barriers built so high
Soon I'll finally climb the great divide
And mount a horse to freedom ride
As today I still carry
A few shards of old injuries
But I can learn to throw away
All the darkness of inside me

I believe in possibilities
I believe someone's watching over me
Tomorrow brings a soft and gentle breeze
While the sunlight dances on my lap
Giving way to new opportunities
To become the present version of me
Yesterday cannot follow just to ruin
The thoughts inside that hold me
Down the devil's rabbit hole
I believe one day I will be free
Of my own silent memories
Perhaps they should be given
A truthful, triumphant voice
Even as I regain a choice
To live in yesterday's darkness,
Or break into the light, tomorrow's security