Taste of Heartache

And just like that. I feel the heartbreak all over again. A violent storm of vivid memories rips through the kingdom as I rebuild it. I have no grasp to understand you; not a million years or a million trees could supply enough time or material to accurately detail the pain you have caused me. I am floating in the abyss of nothing, and I have found my footing in the black ink. You found me and used me like a tool to save yourself. I was your means to your end. I helped you, and when you felt I was used up, you got rid of me. A horror story you remember me as. But I remember you as everything, my love. The sun, the moon, the stars, and the in-between. Not the furthest reaches of space nor the deepest parts of the ocean could my tears not fill. I am beyond hurt and beyond my own mortal coil. I am a third person observing my pain, unclear of why it hurts me so badly. I am trapped on the mountaintop, still holding onto my black petunia. Even as your petals wilt and dry out, I am found with nothing in my lungs, and my body is freezing. Please help, please kill me. I fear nothing more than this. I feared nothing more than this. I knew you were no good, but I listened not. For the fire inside burned brighter than the fire around me. My hope, in its fragile attempt, wounded itself. My body is created in the flames that kept it light. I healed before; I can heal again, but this time I have to change. You cursed evil thing. I gave you all I had, and in my face, you spit and tore at the flesh that clung on. My blood pooling to the muscle and congealing as I scream. I am being toyed with by some unkind thing. A lesson taught by a ruthless teacher. I hate you. You have no right to treat me the way you have. I did nothing to you. I hurt you in no way. Your poison offers no antidote, viper. Just because you save the snake does not mean it won't bite you. Your sweet words have turned into thorns that wrap my body, binding flesh to branch. I grow roots in my misery as I water my legs with tears that roll down my face. I become your tree, and the fruits will bear a beautiful thing that will only be sin for you. The snake will chase you to bite, but the tree will be what harms you. I will damn you to my existence. But I fear you have already done that yourself, darling. You will realize with time what you are becoming. I know your taste and smell like a dog; I can follow it to your future. If only you loved me like I thought you did. I know now that it was just hopeful. You said that no matter what anyone told me, I had a beautiful soul. Now you have removed me from your life and speak badly of me. So was I ever truly beautiful, or were my doubts of your sweet words fair? I was your obedient dog, and you kicked me till I coughed up blood. Now I stare down the barrel of your gun. Your eyes cold behind the sights. You lulled me, seduced, tricked me, made me feel so safe that I never thought you'd leave, let alone hurt me. Heartbreak is one thing; hatred is another. You have turned my love into both. Watch me drink this poison you've made of my insides.