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A husband forgets his wife's shopping list on his first-time shopping. |
The Shopping List "Aw, crap, I forgot the stupid grocery list at home. Whisper is going to hand me my butt in a sling if I call and have her read it off to me or send me a copy to my cell phone. Maybe she wouldn't know the difference if I ran home and said I forgot my wallet and grabbed the list. I could try that and be home-free. No, she knows I have it because she saw me pick it up." "I know. I help create the menus. I remember the meals. I can use the meals and get what we need by listing the ingredients. I'm sure that would work; that's what Whisper does when she forgets the list. It can't be that hard." "Tonight, we are having lasagna. I know there is meat in there. It is good meat, so it must be steak, probably ribeye. There is a tomato-like sauce. That would be ketchup. The big, long things are like spaghetti but bigger. She uses lots of spaghetti. I better get two boxes. We also have garlic bread. I know that's in the freezer section by the ice cream. Better pick some of that, too." "The next meal is my favorite besides steak and mushrooms. That sounds good. I'll pick that up for supper on Saturday. I better get two more ribeyes. Mushrooms should be in the butter aisle because that's what they are cooked in. I wonder if the mushrooms and butter are next to each other or if I need to look around the store?" "I still haven't got the ingredients for a pot roast with all the fixings. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. Whisper makes the best pot roast ever. I first need to get the pot roast meat. It's back to the meat counter." "Hello, it's me again. I need a decent piece of pot roast; 8 to 9 pounds would be about the right size." "Would you like a chuck roast, rump roast, or round roast?" "No, I wanted a pot roast. Do you carry those?" "Yeah, chuck, rump, or round. Which do you want?" "Pot. I want a pot roast." "Listen, a pot roast is the same as a chuck, rump, and round roast. It is just named differently. It's just a name for the same thing. There are three different meats, that's all. So, which do you want?" "The same thing, huh? Well then, I want the one my wife picks out." "OK. She likes to use the chuck roast. She uses the chuck roast, OK?" "She does? Well, if that is what she uses, then I'll take the biggest one you got." "Can you tell me where I can get the rest of the fixing for the roast? I need potatoes, carrots, onions, cabbage, and homemade gravy." "Start by looking in the produce section--the aisles with all the vegetables. Ask them where the gravy is located." "Thank you." "Look at all these vegetables and fruits. How am I ever going to find what I need here? Do we need apples or oranges for any meals? What about Kiwi? Is that a fruit or vegetable? Looks like a fuzzy green egg. There's one I know. A pineapple. Whisper's favorite drink is a Bay Breeze cocktail with pineapple and cranberry juice." "Back to supper. I need potatoes. There they are. I think a ten-pound bag will be enough for a couple of meals. A head of cabbage. Looks like lettuce. No, this looks like lettuce. Better get both; never know. Onions - onions - onions. Found them. A pound bag is enough. Now for carrots. 'What's up, Doc?' That always makes Whisper laugh. Humm. Baby carrots or full-size? Better get both. I'm unsure if she cuts them down to size or gets them small. I think that's it. Wait, what's that? Mushrooms! Here they are. Where's the butter? These aren't the type you eat with butter. They look the same. I am going to pick some up, just in case. I must swing around to the butter aisle and grab some plain butter to go with the mushrooms now. Good thing I found these non-butter mushrooms." "Let's see--one more meal for now. Something easy and simple. It will give Whisper the night off from cooking and cleaning up. Frozen pizza. They're quick, hardly messy, and if I get two, filling." Whisper will be so pleased. I did all this shopping without a list and without calling her. I bet she will let me do the shopping more often." 760 Words |