Calling the IRS

“Thank you for contacting the IRS. How may I assist you today?”
“Yes, I received a bill from you, and I don’t believe I should have to pay this insane amount.”
“Ok, sir. May I please have your name and social security number.”
“Max Weston. 123-45-6789”
“Please give me a moment while I pull up that information.”
“Mr. Weston, did you work in 2023?”
“Yes, for one day.”
“I see here that we indeed sent you a bill.”
“I know. I have it right here in my hand.”
“Would you like to take care of that payment now, sir?”
“No! I do not feel I should have to pay.”
“But you just affirmed that you worked last year.”
“Again, I worked for one day.”
“Sir, if you work for one day, or two hundred days, does not make a difference. It’s the fact that you did work and were compensated for that work.”
“But you see, I wasn’t.”
“You weren’t compensated?”
“I was not.”
“But you filed a tax return and included your W-2 form.”
“Ah, that. My daughter jumped the gun and thought she was being nice.”
“Mr. Weston, did you sign the 1040 form?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Then you owe the United States Government for 2023.”
“How? I never received payment for that day.”
“Are you saying they didn’t pay you?”
“No, I’m saying I lost the check, so I was never paid.”
“Sir, as far as the Government is concerned,”
“Don’t say it. I didn’t get paid, and it’s not fair for you to ask for money that I never saw in the first place.”
“The employer filed a W-4, you filed your 1040. Whether you physically collected the payment falls on your shoulders. The IRS shows that you owe us money. How do you intend to pay?”
“Did you not understand what I just told you?”
“Yes, I understand you lost your paycheck, and I’m sorry to hear that. It doesn’t negate the fact that you still owe the IRS.”
“You do realize that makes no sense, right?”
“That’s not my call to make.”
“I don’t feel I should have to pay into the IRS when I was never paid to begin with.”
“Mr. Weston, interest begins to accrue tomorrow. Do you intend to pay what you owe?”
“Interest? On what?”
“You owe the government for the one day you worked. If you do not pay by the deadline, legally, we will start charging interest until the balance is paid in full.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“I understand your dilemma.”
“That’s good. So I am no longer obligated to pay,”
“That’s not what I’m saying. Just pay the money you owe and then you won’t be burdened with interest.”
“But I don’t feel that I should have to pay.”
“The US Government says you do.”
“Again,”
“Sir, can you pay the $5.43 or not?


WC: 489