10 April 2024

I applied for my New York City ID card on Monday. I hope they issue one to me as I can't even use the computers at the library without one. I don't have computer access to print off a resume and I have no way to try and get employment unless I walk around and hopefully someone will hire me to clean garbage or bus tables or something. I am receiving zero assistance from the government or from anywhere other than the shelter I am staying at which allows me to sleep on a cot in a room with about 8-10 other women. We all share one bathroom/shower. I am thankful for the cot and the shower as it's still pretty cold at night and there's no way in hell I am going without a shower for more than 24 hours. Sometimes, I shower twice a day even. I do all my own laundry and buy all my own food as the shelter serves food that I cannot tolerate.

My digestion has always been pretty sensitive and fucked up, likely due to not getting appropriate antibodies, enzymes and other factors from my birth mother after I was born. My mother was unable to breast feed me due to the medication she was taking so I was fed formula from day 1. I didn't get the important necessities from her colostrum or from breast milk, which is known to be a contributing factor in digestive issues. I guess I would have been removed from her right after being born as I was going to be given up for adoption, but my grandfather came to see me at the hospital and said, no way she is being given up for adoption... She's a Smith and she's coming home with us.

More notes on my ex-husband and the ring and marriage and relationship I never wanted to stay in:

I never had any love for the person I got married to. I was coerced into accepting the proposal and the marriage. I tried to leave the relationship multiple times before I got married, but he wouldn't let me go. He kept coercing me into "accepting him" and that stupid fucking diamond ring I didn't want anything to do with. I gave it to his friend Steve to return to him so it's not like I pawned it or kept it. I fucking hated the stupid ring when he opened that stupid box and asked me to marry him and I hated wearing it. I was super fucking happy to get it off my fucking finger as it felt like some sort of fucking noose or slave fucking chain saying I am property of some fucking idiot I fucking hate and have zero positive feelings for, and never did have any special or positive feelings for.

Anyhow, I really hope that New York City will issue me an ID card as I hope that I can somehow be employed legally if I have it. Other people have said you get benefits for it like discounts, but I don't care about that. I just want to be able to use the computer at the library and take books out. I don't have much money left from the legitimate property that I owned and sold. As I have been paying for nearly everything myself (the shelter did give me a comb, a couple bars of soap, and one sample size bottle of body wash and body lotion. I have also received a few sample sizes or toothpaste). I have bought my own toothbrush, shampoo, laundry soap, dryer sheets, q-tips, and other personal necessities. I have been purchasing my own food and drinks/coffee, which has been fairly pricey, but I am not allowed to bring in my own food to cook at the shelter. If I could at least do that, I would be able to save a lot of money. A whole pineapple is $2.99. I eat pineapple routinely as it helps my digestion as it contains bromelain

<aside>
I wrote about the benefits of pineapple in my Smashburger review on Google
https://goo.gl/maps/Y5hwMgMo1BBvceCL6

I write a lot of Google reviews on retailers, restaurants, and other businesses. Mostly all positive as I generally have positive experiences in most establishments and I really appreciate all the employees and the services/food/etc provided. Even when things and employees aren't "perfect" according to the flaming fucking dumpster shit pile of eerily similar/identical corporate standards, which seem to think they are very inclusive, diverse, and equitable where everyone belongs...

Also, I think there are a lot of hoity toity people who actually enjoy writing nasty reviews about employees and businesses. Some people think they are "worth more" than other people and/or are superior to other people and therefore deserve very special treatment when they walk into an establishment. Some people think that everyone should focus and dote on them because they have walked into the building and everything and everyone should stop what they are doing, ignore all the other customers/people, and focus on "their needs", like they are some sort of holy iconic figure or VIP.

That actually reminds me of the time when I had been really sick for a couple weeks with some sort of bad flu. I was working at Broadmead Village Vet Clinic at 777 Royal Oak Dr in Victoria, BC at the time. I went to.the doctor after a few days as I wasn't improving and my lungs sounded like shit. I had my own stethoscope at the time because I was a vet tech who had recently graduated so I bought myself one off of Amazon as a gift to myself for making it through school and successfully graduating and passing the VTNE with flying colors.
<aside>
During the 2 weeks away from work, I binge watched almost every episode and season of Grey's Anatomy. I was so sick I couldn't read or do much of anything so I literally just made a bed on the floor and watched that through the Shaw cable tv box thing that was "essential" for my ex-husband to have. He simply can't live without watching his stupid sitcoms and "reality" TV shows like survivor. He likes pawn stars and motorcycle shows too. I never watched much TV beyond that. Oh, and sometimes I binge watched star trek and csi too when I couldn't sleep because his snoring was so loud.
<end aside>

Anyhow, my lungs sounded very raspy upon exhalation/expiration, so I made an appt with the doctor nearby on Goldstream Ave. I told him my symptoms and let him know what I thought my lungs, trachea, and bronchial area sounded like. He listened to my lungs and stuff and agreed with what I told him. He said he couldn't tell me for sure if it was fungal, viral, or bacterial without further testing, which was not necessary because I wasn't in serious condition or anything, but he offered antibiotics. I said yes as I didn't want to risk a secondary infection developing and was comfortable taking the antibiotics without further testing as I very rarely take systemic antibiotics (or non-systemic antibiotics). The risk was low and the potential benefit was very good, so we both agreed that a course of antibiotics would be good. Can't remember which ones... think they were from the fluoroquinolones, but it was years ago now (probably 2017) so I really can't say for sure.

Anyhow, the antibiotics and bed rest helped me to feel better. I stayed in touch with work about my progress with my flu/chest infection. I think I was off for nearly 2 weeks. The day I went back, we were quite busy and we had a locum vet in, Dr JH (I think those were her initials) doing cat spays/neutered. I was assisting with those and with a golden retriever who had eaten a tennis ball that was lodged in his stomach... I think just above the pylori sphincter?

Anyhow, I was not feeling good and told Dr Elizabeth Wilson, the owner of the clinic, that I was feeling dizzy and was worried that I was going to faint. I asked for a stool to sit on because I was scrubbed in and fully gowned and gloved and helping to manually retract the surgical site and hold onto part of the dogs digestive tract while the vet was suturing. I was brought a stool by Marissa Covantes
(who they kept employed illegally when her permanent residency or whatever you call it expired in 2017. Sara Duncan signed the controlled drug log for her and I'm pretty sure they forged my initials as well to "keep it all looking legitimate for inspectors and such". Also, they used her to do most of the vet tech stuff and demoted me to just being an assistantand doing clean up work, for no reason, after I graduated from TRU and passed my VTNE and was officially a Registered Vet Tech. They also had to pay Marissa under the table during this time, which was in 2017. Not sure exactly which months, but it was that year for sure.)

and I kept telling the vet that I was going to faint and I repeatedly asked if it was OK to let go of the piece of stomach she was suturing. I had to hold on because I knew if I dropped it into the body cavity, it could cause potential contamination and sepsis so I pushed myself hard to stay standing and hold on until she was done suturing. Finally, she said she was done and I could let go. I let go of the dogs stomach and proceeded to fall backwards as I was starting to lose consciousness from being so hot under the gown and bright lights and after being off sick with the flu/lung infection where I hadn't even been able to walk to the bathroom without getting out of breath. Anyhow, the locum vet, Dr JH, thankfully caught me before I hit the floor and laid me down gently. I was very appreciative as I otherwise would have hit my head and back on the surgery room floor.

Dr Wilson told her (Dr JH–Jillian Harrison, I think was how you spell her name) off about bothering to catch me as she said that she should have stepped in to help her with the dogs surgery and let me drop to the floor. That was what was important, the dog on the table. Let the human hit the floor and potentially suffer injury or a concussion. What a nice sweet proper British vet, eh? Oh, I mean what a proper fucking cunt. Her and her little former scottish Bobby with the very caring cat "rescue" business she runs out of the vet.