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Rated: 13+ · Assignment · Contest · #2317277
Which judge is quitting?
Recently, it has come to my attention that one of the seven judges in
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The Writer's Cramp Open in new Window. (13+)
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#333655 by Sophurky Author IconMail Icon
is contemplating quitting.being a judge, but I do not know which. I thought that I would attempt to figure it out by briefly looking at their portfolios.

First, there is Bianca . Well, why would she quit judging? To spend more time knitting? No, I don't think we need to worry about her.

Second we havewinklett.I don't think this one is going to quit. They may have said they're going to quit, but it's almost certainly an exaggeration.

Third, there is L_P. This guy is obsessed with abreviations: LP, BICHOK etc. You know, buddy if you quit judging this contest and get a job in the real world, people are going to expect you to use whole words, so no. I don't think this one is going to quit.

Fourth, we have Lilli 🧿 ☕. Honestly, not much to say about this one. Her handle intrigued me, but it turns out it's just a reference to Game of Thrones. Aside from that, she considers herself a "novice at best". Someone so mediocre probably has nothing better to do than judge our contest, so not a problem.

Fifth, we have Robert Waltz. Good lord! This guy is obsessed with alcohol. But he also enjoys anything else that is "incredibly easy and instantly gratifying." In other words, judging this contest.

Sixth, we have ♥noVember tHiNg♥. Um. . .Is this judge a cow? And they call me "weirdone"? Well, I think we're okay here, because why would a cow quit judging this contest? Why would a cow start judgting this contest in the first place?

Seventh, we haveSophurky. This must be the one. She's got this quote:

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman.

She must want to spend more time on whatever makes her come alive.

Look, Sophie, the world may need people who have come alive, but this isn't the world. It's a writing contest. And it needs judges not people who have come alive. So quit worrying about what makes you come alive, sit down, and judge this contest.

369 words

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