Dericka Part 1: The Blind Date

Tyrus

I never knew what to expect during this blind date. I trusted my buddy to hook me up with a girl who would be kind, pretty, and normal. But I was wrong.

This girl was…something else. Okay, she was creepy. Weird. She had the eyes of bowling balls and the Cheshire Cat's smile from Alice in Wonderland. She wore a black lacy dress and stared at my soul as we sat across the table. I couldn't even hold a conversation with her without it being weird. She even ate like a pig. I'm not the type to criticize people's eating, but this girl was literally scarfing down her food like it was her business!

"So…" she started with her high-pitched voice. She continued devouring her food. "What do you like to do for fun?"

At least that question was normal.

"Uh…" I drummed against the table. "I like to play baseball and hockey."

"Ooh! Sports!" she squeaked. "I can go to every game you play. Every. Single. Game!" Her eyes grew bigger as she leaned forward.

"Y-yeah," I said as I leaned back. "I don't really play in a team. I just like to play sports with my buddies."

"Can I watch you play sometime?"

"Sure," I said hesitantly. "What do you like to do for fun?" A small part of me wished I didn't ask that question.

She thought for a moment, then gave me that comb-tooth smile. "I like to read Manga books and
watch Naruto. I love anime!"

"Oh, okay. That's-"

"I also like to fantasize about abducting people and locking them in a closet! Forever and ever!"

I started feeling even weirder. Should I even be sitting here with this girl?

"R-really?" I tried to keep my voice steady.

"Yeah! It's entertaining!" She giggled her loud giggle.

"Um…"

"What do you think about THAT?!"

I tried processing my thoughts. What should I think about that?

"Haha! You're funny. Good one."

Her smile faltered a bit. "What do you mean?"

"You got a good sense of humor. I'd love to fantasize about abducting people, too."

Her eyes widened bigger. "You do?!" She leaned against the table close.

"N-no! I was just-"

"I knew you and I were meant to be together! We could abduct people together and never let them leave! What do you think?"

This woman was truly disturbed. I had to get out of here.

"Uh..uh… I'm gonna… I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I got up slowly.

"How about I join you?" Her wide smile remained as she stood up.

"Nah, it's the men's."

"So?"

"I'll be back, okay?"

"Hurry back," she said, followed by a giggle.

I have to get out of here! I'm gonna kill my buddy when I see him!

Once I hit the bathroom, I opened the window and jumped out. I ran into my car and before I could open my door...

"Where do you think you're going?"

I slowly turned and there she was…right behind me. She was less than a few inches away from me.

How did she…?

“I-I-I…”

"You-you-you what? Trying to escape? Why? I was nice to you. Kind to you! Where are you going?"

Home. Away from you.

"I-uh…" I gotta think of a distraction. "Oh, look! A bunny rabbit."

Really, Tyrus?

She still gave me that menacing look.

"A-a puppy dog! A-"Forget it. I had to tell her the truth. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Listen, I believe deep down inside you're a nice girl. But this isn't working."

I tried to open my car door, but she blocked it.

"What do you mean this isn't working?" Her voice was filled with poison.

"I mean…" I swallowed. "I don't think we're right for each other."

"Of course we are! We're going to stay with each other forever and ever! And you're going to like it. We're going to get married and have a gazillion kids and YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT! GOT IT?!"

I couldn't do this. I had to say no.

"No, I'm sorry, but-"

Before I could utter another word, she screamed a scream so loud, so inhuman, I started feeling convinced that she wasn't even human herself.

After she stopped screaming, she stared at me with those dark eyes. "Now, will you go back inside so we can finish our date?"

"Uh-uh-uh, sure! Sure, I will."

"Good." She grabbed my arm, and as she dragged me back, I said to myself, "Help me!"

~

Right when I got into my car, I hit up my boy Andre on the phone. "Bro! What the heck is wrong with you?!" I said once he answered.

"What, man?" Andre asked.

"You hooked me up with some crazy chick! Why would you do that?"

"Look, Tyrus, she wouldn't stop pestering me to find her a date, so I went with you because I know you're single."

"Well, why wouldn't you find somebody else? She and I ain't got nothin' in common! And she's crazy!"

"Well…I don't know what to tell you, bro."

"Tell me sorry! Because that was the worst date EVER!"

"Fine, man." He shrugged. "I'm sorry. But you gotta admit. She's kinda cute."

"Cute?! CUTE?!" She ugly! What'chu mean?!"

"Look, bro. Do you want me to hook you up with another girl?"

"No! I'll find one myself."

"Okay, good luck with that."

"So, why does she act like that?"

"Act like what?"

"Act like she ain't got sense. You've been to school with her since kindergarten, right?"

"Right."

"Yeah, so what happened?"

"Well, it all started with…"

Author's note ▼

This story is solely based on a character from a YouTube skit. I fell in love with this character and decided to base this story on the character.

Also, characters with different points of view will describe their perspectives on this character. This is purely experimental and mainly meant for entertainment. I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for reading and let me know what you think!