Don't you know Who I Am?

Don't you know who I am?

I'm Thomas Delbert III

I was Captain of the Football team in in High School and played line defense in college.

Now, I work for a brokerage firm in New York City. Everyone knew that I would go really far and I did. Not like the losers I knew in school.

So I got to the office building this morning, and boarded the elevator. There were two other people in it. One was a fairly hot chick and the other was a dark man that I couldn't see very well. Anyway, I thought I'd talk to the babe, but then something clicked. I suddenly pictured her as a much fatter woman with braces on her teeth and thick glasses.

That's when I said, "Oh God!"

And that's when the other guy in the elevator spoke up. He said, "Excuse me! But I hate it when people confuse me with that guy..."

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* * *

Don't you know who I am? I'm Constance Lebraun, the famous pianist.

This morning, I had an appointment to speak with my agent , so I went to his office building and when I got on the elevator this morning, there were two men with me. One was a cocky looking jerk who was clearly giving me the eye. The other had a sort of dark appearance that I couldn't make out.

But when the cocky one opened his mouth and said, "Hello there, Gorgeous," I suddenly recognized him.

Back in High School, I had given a piano recital and I was nervous. I kept hitting the wrong keys. Then, I heard this boy in the back of the auditorium laughing and making loud woofing noises implying I was some sort of dog. I later learned that it was Tom Delbert, the Captain of the football team. But at the time, I just tried to hold back the tears and that made it harder to read the music so I hit more wrong notes and pretty soon the entire auditorium was laughing.

I remembered how I ran home that day in tears thinking that I was untalented, ugly, and that I would never amount to anything. . .

And that's when I noticed something else.

The other guy in the elevator looked kind of familiar too.
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* * *

Don't you know who I am?

You've probably heard bad things about me.

You probably don't know that I love music and helping awkward teenagers.

So when that girl, Connie, was sobbing in her room, I decided to pay her a visit. She seemed astonished to see me in her bedroom, but then they usually are.

I comforted her and told her that I was here to help. Then, I asked her what she really wanted. To be beautiful, to be a great pianist, or revenge on that boy.

She said that she'd like all three, but being a great pianist was the most important.

I approved of her choice and I told her that she would get the other two things too, but not as quickly. The next time she tried to play piano, she would find that she was quite good. Beauty would come more slowly over the next few years and revenge would only come at the very end.

Then, I reminded her that I still would have to charge her for this service eventually.

So, this morning was the very end. It was time for me to stop hiding my horns beneath my hat and my hooves beneath my shoes.

Time for the elevator to come crashing down with the three of us all in it.

And when that silly man, Thomas said, "Oh God!" I got annoyed.

Because I hate it when people confuse me with that guy.

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