Groundhog's Story

I’m the groundhog of the moment. The humans, partially concealed by the bushes, are looking in my direction. One of them sets up a tripod with a big mechanical eye, pointing it at me.
Can’t they leave me alone? All I want is to kick back in my hole for a little February R and R.
OK, not really. In truth I’m getting pretty antsy. There was already the January R and R. And December. I’m surprised I'm not talking to my shadow.
Besides, I love the limelight!
Hey, this could be my Hollywood break. Let’s see, how about. . .the Hogfather: "Come on by people, I'll make you a deal you can't refuse!"
No reaction. Oh, wait. Humans don’t do groundhog telepathy. Such a frustrating species. So removed from nature.
Hey, maybe that's what they're looking for. A groundhog guru to guide them back to the wisdom of nature. Who am I to refuse? I'll answer the calling and be benefactor of all animalkind. “Nevermore shall there be a hunting season on groundhogs!"
But I can't telepath that to them, can I?
Hey, I could use twigs and grass from my burrow to spell out my directives to the humans. I’ll go down and get them. Here I go. Bye, shadow!
What’s all that cheering? Six more weeks of winter? What’s that about? Once I get those twigs I’ll get those humans set straight.
----
Whew! Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel. The twigs are here, folks! Hey, where did all the humans go? First they want a guru. Then they vanish.
Oh well. Easy come, easy go. I guess I’ll snuggle up in my hole for a while. After all, the humans predicted six more weeks of winter. Who am I to question them?