First Days

First Days

First days are always going to be the toughest, never fully knowing exactly what to expect. A wave of emotions just crashes over you. Feeling ecstatic one moment, heart pumping in excitement and a huge smile from ear to ear. The next thing you know you’re sweating bullets, sweat drip-dripping down your face like a faucet, heart thumping so loud against your chest it sounds like ringing in your ears. Legs and hands shaking uncontrollably. We’re never fully aware of what’ll happen on our first day. It could change your life forever, or maybe just be a regular Sunday morning. What I didn’t know was that my first day at dance was going to be a day to remember.

Not fully knowing what to expect, I both eagerly and anxiously walked into my dance studio. Seeing the place for the first time gave me a rush of euphoria. Seeing the other kids play with one another with their laughter cutting through the air, like the sound of a church’s bell on a quiet afternoon. My Cheshire cat grin once more returned to my face. But when I stepped foot in the classroom, my heart stopped for seconds. My smile drooped a little but lingered, but my stomach dropped all the way to the ground. Everyone looked at me and beads of sweat started pouring down my face. Everyone looked like a professional, dancing since the age of 2. They stared so intensely. Each step I took, more beads of sweat trickled down my already timid face. My legs were shaking so intensely, it looked like I was trying to walk during an earthquake. I was lucky to be able to walk to the class because of how unstable I was.

It was at his time when I took my first dance class. Not even focusing on trying to have fun, my objective was to do my absolute best. I hit every move, beat and struck every pose, or so I thought. Barely smiling or having a pleasant facial expression. You could see my every ounce of concentration. As soon as we were let out for a water break, I practically inhaled my water. Gasping for air while sitting down. As I start walking back into class, that’s when reality hits me. All the other students were staring at me so intensely with the eyes of an owl who’s ready to swoop in and make the final kill. I started getting really timorous, knees shaking underneath me and shoulders tensed high up.

We were now halfway through the class. For the first time in a long time, I felt the motivation to do the absolute best that I could. But then I heard girls talking about me. They murmured under their breath to one another saying “Oh, she’s so bad,” and “She’ll never become a real dancer like us,” My face turned as red as a cinnabar. Embarrassed, I dashed out of the class. Tears blurring through my eyes and running down my face. I felt like I was falling into a dark abyss. Falling forever without ever having a grip on something. Feeling like I was worth nothing. My eyes were damp from the words they left. Felt like I could do nothing right. Suddenly, warm arms wrapped around me. I couldn’t see who or what it was, still stuck in my own dark abyss. But when I felt the arms wrap around, a tiny gleam of light revealed itself. I pushed toward it. Each step I took, the light got more and more blinding. I woke up back to reality, realizing I still had my class to take. The feeling still sinking inside of me. After wiping away my tears, I dreadfully walked back into class. I was tired, embarrassed and downhearted. Seconds felt like hours, creeping slowly. But then, I remembered something.

All of a sudden, my adolescent brain pushed those negative thoughts away. It was really hard to bury them down away, it was as if you were trying to move a mountain. But all you have to do is ignore those comments. For the rest of class, I pushed and kept pushing until the class was over. Thinking only positive things and telling myself that I could do anything. But what I kept repeating over to myself in class was,

“Nothing ever comes easy, you must work to achieve your goal. You may fail countless times, but you must persevere
through it. You never fail until you give up.”-Gil Yoo(My Grandpa)

This thought kept me going even in the toughest of times. I was able to go through class and I ended up loving it. Present day and I’m still dancing. I'm currently on pointe and in all of the advanced classes. I'm on my dance competitive team and ballet production. I do a variety of classes that ranges from contemporary to ballet to tap to hip-hop and more. Who knew one simple class of dance could result to an everlasting passion for it. A self-conscious, awkward girl turned into a hard working dancer. First days are days that I always dread but are also days I look forward to. To this day, I reminisce upon my first day of dance and think about all the possible outcomes. But I’m also glad, glad that I pushed myself and kept persevering even through hard times. This is something that I tell myself constantly. I’m known for my hard work, dedication and perseverance. Persevering is really important, not just to me but everyone else as well. So never give up, think positive and try your hardest no matter the circumstances. This is for all of the people out there who need it.

Note:
Hello! This is Ash, once again. This is now my fourth piece of work that I'm posting on writing.com and I'm getting mixed feelings about. Not sure if it's good or not but I'm not saying it's horrible. I joined writing.com on November 26, 2023. So about 14 days ago, 2 weeks. I've mostly looked around and reviewed other people's work and I found every single one incredible. So if you're reading this, I want you to know that your writing is absolutely amazing! Please don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sure, there might be some points in time where you find your work okay but know, stories aren't made overnight. Work continuously progresses and gets better. Besides, is there really such thing as "bad writing". When we were younger, all those writing you've written have had you improve so much up to this point. So the next time you're reading a piece of your writing and think it's not the best, come back to this, make a mental note or have someone else tell you how good of a writer you are. We are human(well I hope we/you are at least) and we always strive to improve. So coming from a random person on the internet,
YOU ARE AMAZING AND YOUR WRITINGS ARE SPECTACULAR.
Also, if you could give me feedback on my writing, that could be stellar. Anyways, I want to thank you so much for reading my work. I don't think people understand how good it makes me feel to know that people put time and effort into their day to read and maybe give feedback on my writings. As a 12-17 year old, it just makes me way too happy. Like I'm grinning from ear to ear like a Chesire Cat. So out of more than 7 billion people in this world, somehow out of all the countless of writings on this website, you came to mine and this makes me so grateful. And to read your feedback is so uplifting. Now I know I'm getting too sappy, but actually, thank you so so much.

Signing off,
Ash