Three's a Crowd

I heard this quote a while ago,
It went something like this: “My mental illness will always be the third party in all of my relationships.” And I think it perfectly encapsulates the fear I have of relationships. My mental illness will always be the third member. My partner will never truly have me. I will home an infesting parasite they’ll swear they tolerate. But I will be sent packing at the brink of insanity. I have been told my entire life that I am too much. That I have been too extreme. Too mean and detached. And yet I’ve always felt like the opposite; overflowing with emotions. Nonetheless, I am too much for the people who love me and too much for the people who despise me. I have never wanted to overwhelm or burden someone so how can I ask someone to do that willingly for me?
I will relapse, pace back and forth, and grow. But where will they be in the midst of all of this? Continuously caught in the crossfire. I don’t want anyone to consider loving me as a sacrifice. I will bleed out of the floor before I send anyone to war for me.