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This my life, this how I be, fuck y'all, just wanna be me |
Written late last night. Still under construction, welcome to my life Infiltration of the United Nations They gifted us all these reservations It's a muthafucka infinite bloody staycation Gotta pick another radio station We on a Spiral staircase going nowhere fast Not sure how much longer my will can last I'm stuck in time, bleeding out in rhyme Convicted of a bunch of made-up crimes Concocted by assholes who ain't got no spines Wanna crush me like a worthless bug, Then sweep my ashes underneath the rug They sit on their thrones, lookin' all smug Satisfied with their status as the ultimate thug They playin' the same tune everywhere And I'm not sure why I bother to care What's the fuckin' point of all that I share Gimme the gun, I'll do it myself Not lookin' for no trophies to put on my shelf Just wanna reach out and make people laugh 'Cause sometimes the pain just won't fuckin' pass Guess that's why I don't got no class My rhythm is skewed, my attitudes crass Got my own special brand of whoop yo' ass Just want people to know that they ain't alone So I write these words on my stupid cell phone But everything I write just feels like trash Caught up in a vortex of perpetual relapse And you fuckers just surround me, wantin' me to snap Out of my mind, take out my knife, Slit my wrists up, just a tiny slice, I'm just some old and used up ex-wife Got no volition of my own, Can't escape the call of tha microphone Leave a message at the tone I'm always sittin' at home alone Like Macaulay Culkin, I'm fuckin' ungracious But my life is not some Christmas vacation It's more National Lampoon, but nuthin is funny 'Cause I owe the credit unions a bunch of money And I'll never be able to pay it back So all I got is my boom bap rap crack So I'm stickin' my shit in a fucking rice sack Sell all I have, maybe I get some stacks Though it's mostly all just plastic crap Bought while I was trapped with the pack of rats who fucked me over behind my back Squeaking with glee while they smacked me up with their mumble rap tracks Gassin' me up, tryna shove me in the oven When all I ever did was show them all lovin' I'm not some nasty ass piece of shit I'm not some muthafuckin crazy chick Don't need to be committed as some mental patient I'm just tryna survive, don't wanna erase this I try so hard, I try to hide All my emotions deep inside I keep them buried a little while Then I walk another mile Try real hard to fake a smile Then a bomb drops down and I feel it all again The healing journey never fuckin' ends Just a vicious cycle where we all play pretend No such thing as a real fuckin' friend That doesn't exist in this stupid fuckin' city So welcome to my life, it's all reality And nothin' up here is actually free No such thing as realizing your dream We all gotta justify the way that we speak So slap on that label and call me a freak Pathetic little female, useless and weak Tie that bird up and duct tape her beak No one wanna hear that bitch fuckin' screech She a British cunt like Robin Leach Livin' the high life, how dare she try ta preach She don't know hardship, she didn't take a knee Don't matter 'bout her family tree Worthless cunt, we'll pepper her with bullets, then she'll see Sure her family got insurance for that Put a cap in her ass, stupid white trash Thinkin' she special, she wants a free pass She not good enough, her face we shall smash Well fuck it all I'll take the fall Walk down tha' hall Y'all be happy to see me crawl Blood soaked and naked Body full sprawl Shove my corpse in a bathroom stall But I don't fuckin care, Ain't got no flair, check the clothes that I wear My heart is bare, full of pain and despair Don't believe me? Check out my stare Look me in the muthafuckin eye I ain't bloody well afraid ta die I'm not Medusa, won't turn ya to stone But these pansy ass assholes won't leave me alone Making dumb jokes about rusty trombones Cryin' about coming from broken homes Mommy and daddy didn't love me enough They didn't buy me the latest and greatest stuff Boo hoo hoo, poor fuckin' me Didn't get all I wanted under the Christmas tree My mommy whacked me upside of my head But I'm not tellin' youse guys what I did and said Nah, I'm a cool fuckin' gangsta, check my street cred Look who I hang with, we cool like Club Med Collecting toys for the orphans, givin' them bread Not tellin' ya 'bout how I was a dumb fuckin' brat Tryna instigate shit and always talkin' smack Yeah, I'm just so fuckin cool, I'm down with the old-school I ride a muthafuckin Harley and I got a big-ass crew My ex-wife's a gold-diggin' bitch wearin' Converse shoes Spoiled little princess, rotten to the core Ya know how it is boys, these bitches be whores Yup, here I be, tryna live my fuckin' life Working at my job, payin' the price So very full of malice and sin, Nasty girl with a disgusting grin Someone should bust my fuckin' chin Whatever, take your best fuckin' shot I know I'm ugly and old, I never was hot And I barely feel much anymore It's what I deserve, to be cold and poor I'll keep working hard, but I won't conform I gotta be authentic, I can't perform These words I write, from my heart they are torn And I'm already dead inside of my head Y'all know my life from what you've read Between my lines, you will see I'll never have what anyone needs Why would anyone bother with me |