Excerpt from "Destination Fear"

Triton flew through the windshield as it shattered into hundreds of pieces. His body rolled onto the dented hood and landed on top of the beads of shattered glass on the ground.






Chapter 0: Death
May 5th, 3:52p.m





Droplets of blood painted the shards of glass red. The shattered pieces stuck to his body. He felt winded, moaning and groaning, trying to pick himself up, but fell back to the ground. Making another attempt, his dizziness prevented him from standing.
Forcing himself, he grabbed the side of his car and guided his body off the ground, noticing the blood and shards of glass beneath him. He didn’t feel weak or pain, nor did the after result from the impact. A little shaken up and a little anxiety bothered him, but other than that, he felt calm. Brushing himself off, he noticed the front end of his car was connected to the front end of the other vehicle.
The police cruisers came to a stop, almost slamming into the two smashed cars. Officers jumped out of their cars, scattering everywhere, and one ran over to the bank robber’s car.
"Both cars are totaled,” said an officer.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no!” Triton panicked, pulling his hair. “My car! Goddamn my pathetic piece of shit life! Are you kidding me! This is such fucking bullshit!”” he pouted. Slamming his right foot on the ground, he was steamed with anger and frustration. “I don’t believe this goddamn shit! Fuck mother fucker! That’s the only car I have! What am I gonna do?! Shit!” he cried out with angry tears.
A crowd formed around his car, their mouths and eyes wide open from shock. Concerned words were spoken. "Is he OK?". “Is he breathing?”. “He’s not moving?”.
Noticing the blood-covered ground, he lifted his shirt to check his chest with his shaky hands but couldn’t identify a cut. Searching other areas of his body, pulling up his sleeves, checking his arms. Pulling up the pant legs, he checked his legs, but still, nothing. Not one wound, cut, scuff, or bruise could be found.
This made not one lick of sense to him. Blood surrounded the whole area and he couldn’t even figure out where it came from. An ambulance with flashing lights and a loud siren pulled up to the scene.
"I’m not this lucky!" he said, re-checking his body. “No way in hell!”
"You might have a point,” a voice spoke from behind him while he was rechecking his body. “I have seen people get right up and walk away from accidents before. That one could have waken up a dead man in a cemetery a mile away,” the voice spoke with laughter.
"Yeah, that’s for sure, as loud as it was," he said, turning to see a beautiful female standing behind him with a compassionate smile.
“Are you OK?” she asked.
“Uh, yeah, I think,” he answered, patting his body while looking at himself.
This girl looked like a hot punk rocker with long flowing black hair adorned with blue streaks on the left and right sides of her hair. She had on a black t-shirt with tears along the seams, a black transparent nylon long sleeve shirt underneath, a black skirt ending at her knees, black knee high socks, and black boots with silver skulls on the toes. These clothes brought out her bright blue eyes and light skin. She had a thin build and looked like she took care of herself.
"Are you with the EMT's?" he asked.
"No, I’m not exactly an emergency medical technician, but I am here to help you,” she said with a sunny smile. “My name is Mackenzie, but some people call me Mac.”
"I'm Triton.”
He stuck out his hand for her to shake, which was shaking like crazy. She stared at it for a moment, noticing the shaking before giving it a firm shake. Seeing him in this state made her feel sorry for him. Being shaken up by the accident, he was surprised that he wasn't mumbling, which he did in bad situations. Glancing at his car, the accident popped back into his mind.
“What am I going to do?!” he cried out with tears forming in his eyes. “I can’t afford another one!” he shouted, causing her to jump as her eyes bugged out.
“I, I, I’m really sorry, Triton,” she stuttered from the shock of his sudden outburst. “Are you OK though?” she asked in a sympathetic tone.
“I'm, I’m OK,” he answered, realizing he was screaming. “I’m so sorry I screamed,” he spoke in a lower tone.
“It’s OK, honey, really. I understand how upset you are.”
Taking a look at the antifreeze puddle on the ground, he noticed a body beside it. "Oh, what in the-?” he paused. “The other guy is hurt!" he panicked.
He saw that the guy had on a black shirt and cargo pants, and he noticed the person’s light brown hair. Circling the body to get a closer look, he saw the person’s eyes were wide open, staring off into space. Blood tricked down the cheeks onto the person’s lips. The left eye was bruised shut.
“The guy’s dead!” he said. “Jesus! He needs help! Hey!” he screamed at the police officers investigating the scene. “We need help over here!”
Ignoring him, not one of them bothered looking in his direction, let alone acknowledging he needed help.
“Triton?” said Mac with a sad, but serious look.
This girl was beginning to freak him out with the way she remained so calm.
“Who are you anyway?” he asked. “And what did you mean when you said you were here to help me?”
An ambulance siren wailed distracting him from the conversation. The vehicle stopped and two paramedics jumped out, dashing over to the accident scene. A female paramedic went to kneel down beside the lifeless body to take a look. She took a thin silver flashlight and shined it in the person’s eyes.
"Excuse me, do you think I could get some help?" Triton asked, but she ignored him. "Excuse me, Miss?"
The paramedic checked the man’s pulse. She wrapped her fingers around the wrist, but no pulse. After no luck at finding one, she walked over to the ambulance. A blue Toyota pulled up beside her and an unidentified man stepped out.
He walked over to the body, bent down, and checked the guy’s pulse while holding a stethoscope to his upper chest. His black bag read, “Medical examiner”.
“Excuse me,” said Triton, making an attempt to get his attention, but he was ignored. “Hey! Hey, hey!” he waved his hands.
“Triton?” said Mac, but he ignored her, only focused on getting the medical examiner’s attention.
“Even in an accident, people ignore me,” he said, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I give up! I never have any luck! I must be a really bad person for the universe to hate me this much!”
"I ran his plates," said a female police officer, walking over to the scene with her hands tucked into her belt. "His name is Triton Miles," she said to the medical examiner, who continued to examine the body.
“That’s my name,” Triton pointed out with a chuckle.
“Woo doggy, what an accident,” said the one paramedic. “When they sent me over here, I couldn’t believe it.”
“I don’t know why they sent you here,” said the medical examiner. “The crash victim, Triton Miles, is DOA.”
"That’s still kind of funny that guy has the same name as me,” Triton laughed. “Ha, that’s uncanny really. He does kind of look like-" he paused, taking a closer look at the body as a confused generated on his face, and then he looked at Mac. With his mind baffled, he slowed down to think. Remembering the guy was wearing the same clothes as him, he glanced back at the body.
"Did you notice something?" Mac asked, staring into his eyes.
"That’s odd. He looks-” he paused, staring straight at the guy’s damaged face. “He has the same name as-” he paused again, putting a hand on his cheek. “Same clothes, same shoes, and he looks like me?” he muttered with confusion written all over his face, trying to put the pieces together.
A realization brought it all together, though he wasn’t sure what to believe. It was like looking in the mirror.
“Wait, no!” he shouted out with his eyes growing big. “That, that, that, that’s impossible!” he stuttered, looking at Mac. “No way in hell!”
"Triton, you died,” she frowned. “I’m sorry,” she said, giving him a sympathetic stare.
The shock made him a bit disoriented, his thoughts scattered. However, the recent events were coming together like jigsaw pieces close to completing the puzzle. As he looked again, he felt light-headed with his heart racing and a numb tingling sensation throughout his body, like the feeling of his foot falling asleep, but all over his body.
"This is a joke, right??? Of course, it’s a joke! Why wouldn’t it be? Right? Not a very funny joke! Am I, am I, am I making any sense? Am I?" he stuttered with his hands shaking, thinking to himself that he may be dreaming. “Maybe I’m dreaming. Yeah, I-”
“Everything is going to be OK,” she said, putting a hand on his back. "You just went through a traumatic event. Just relax and breath! Everything will be explained to you”. His hands continued to shake as his mind raced. “Shh, it’s OK,” she said, rubbing his back. “Shh, shh, you’re safe now,” she spoke in a comforting voice.
“I did this to myself!” he said, pacing around. “I didn’t have much to live for, hated my life, and now I’m being punished!” he cried out with tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Shh, it’s OK,” she said, rubbing his back. “Shh, shh, don’t cry.”
“How come you can see me and they can’t?” he asked, wiping the tears with the back of his hand.
“I’m a spiritual guide, Triton,” she explained. “You’re spiritual guide.”
“A spiritual-” he paused, losing his train of thought. “It doesn’t matter now. I’m so stupid,” he said, cupping his hands over his face, and crying into his hands. “I’m sorry I’m so upset.”
“Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for,” she said, pulling his right hand away from his face and squeezing it, trying to comfort him.
“This is such bullshit!” he said with anger in his voice. She could see his emotions were shifting around, and tried to listen to his concerns. “People never watch where they’re going!” he angrily stated, pointed to the other car. “Why were they in such a hurry?! Did they rob a bank or something?!” he joked angrily, waving his fists at the bank robber’s totaled car.
“Well, actually, Triton, they did,” she answered, staring at the two totaled cars. A confused look came upon his face. “They robbed the bank downtown and the police were chasing them.”
“Unbelievable!” he yelled, throwing his hands up with frustration all over his face. “This could only happen to a fucking loser like me!”
"Calm down, honey. You see that building there?" she asked, pointing behind him.
Across the street, a skyscraper stood a hundred stories high. He couldn’t see inside because the windows were tinted. Seeing this struck him as odd because he never noticed this building before.
"Yeah, I see it,” he said, wiping his tears. “Is that new? Never mind, what does it matter?”
"If follow me over there, I promise, all of your questions will be answered," she reassured him.
"I'm OK, really,” he said, glancing at the building with hesitation. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me, but I’m OK, uh, Mackenzie? Is it?”
"You and I both know that you’re far from OK.” The look of sympathy on her face seemed sincere to him, but his fear took away his trust. “If you follow me, I believe I can help you.”
“What are you? An angel?” he asked with confusion written all over his face.
She giggled and said, “No.” Feeling beyond confused, he didn’t know what to do. The thought of moving from that spot frightened him. With his skeptical attitude, this appeared different from everything anyone had ever told him about death or what happens after you die.
"Well, shouldn't there be a light and shouldn't my body be floating into the sky or something like that?" he asked, looking at the sky.
"Oh, so we’re doing this?” she laughed. This wasn’t the first time she met someone who thought they knew how the afterlife worked. “OK, Triton, let me explain something to you," she chuckled, looking into his eyes. "Death is different for every person."
"So, I’m not going to heaven? Is there a heaven? Am I really dead? I don’t deserve to go to heaven anyway. I’m a horrible person. I know I am," he rambled on, pacing.
“Triton?” She grabbed his arm, stopping the pacing. “Calm down. You are NOT a bad person. You are anxious, scared, and you’re shaking a lot,” she said, looking at him with worry. “I am here now. You are safe,” she spoke in a comforting voice with a straight face.
“What am I going to do?! I’m not going to heaven, am I?”
"Well, let me ask, do you believe that is where you go?" she asked.
"Well, maybe, I don’t even know. Religion is so confusing!”
"There you go!" she chuckled.
"So am I being punished because I’m unsure about what to believe?"
“No, Triton, you’re not being punished,” she said with a convincing smile. “It’s OK to be unsure of your beliefs. Everyone questions afterlife’s existence. Hell, as confusing as everyone on earth has made religion, fighting over what to believe and who to believe in, I can understand your confusion!” she chuckled.
Feeling frustrated, his patience wore thin. He wasn’t upset with her, but aggravated over the situation. Nothing made sense. Not believing any of this was happening, he kept hoping that he would awake in his own bed any second.
"So, where am I going then?” he asked.
"Your anxiety and fears always held you back from your accomplishments," she pointed out. “I’m here to guide you and help you find your courage. As I’ve said, I’m a spiritual guide, your spiritual guide.”
"I’ve never been good at anything, Mackenzie!" he said, cupping his hands over his face and crying.
Putting her hand on his shoulder, she watched him weep, understanding his pain. Feeling uncomfortable, he had trouble keeping his thoughts in order. He felt like such a failure, not accomplishing anything before he died.
"Triton, I promise, you’re not the only one that has ever felt that way,” she smiled. “Honestly though, I thought you would be more happy now.”
“Why?” Glancing into his eyes, she could see he was in enough pain, and she knew the next words she spoke would embarrass him, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.
“Well, as your spiritual guide, there is certain information I obtain, and well, I know about the suicide notes,” she said in a serious tone.
The serious look on her face intimidated him. He felt as if his privacy had been invaded. Not knowing what to think, he played dumb, hoping he could fool her.
“I never wrote any suicide notes,” he said with a small nervous chuckle.
“Yes, you did. It’s OK though. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Well, I just wrote them to get my feelings out.”
Three to four times a week, he would write a suicide note and picture himself dying. He kept a bottle of sleeping pills in the top drawer of his nightstand.
“It’s OK, Triton,” she said, squeezing his shoulder. “You can be honest with me. You tried to end your life by taking a bottle of sleeping pills four years ago. You didn’t take enough to kill yourself, but you did get sick.”
“I just, I-” he stuttered, feeling ashamed.
“And you almost made another attempt not long ago, but backed out.”
“How do you know all of this?” he asked, now feeling overwhelmed.
“I know enough to know that you need help,” she said with a sad look on her face. “If you follow me, that’s the first step at moving forward,” she said, pointing to the building. “Please trust me, Triton,” she said with a sincere stare.
Glancing at the building, he knew he had limited options. Hesitant, but terrified, he thought maybe he should follow her, and figured there’s not much else he could do. He followed her over. Holding the tinted glass door open, she signaled him to go inside first.
"I don't know about this,” he said with a hesitant look on his face.
“I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you, I promise,” she said, looking him in the eye.
Still hesitant, but curious, he caved, and walked through the door, knowing that she was the only person that could help him. He came to the conclusion that she appeared a nice and caring person, so maybe he should trust her for now. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep an eye on her.
The room was small with white walls. No pictures. No chairs. No decorations. Thirty feet straight ahead was an elevator with a potted fern on each side. The room had a quiet atmosphere and was narrow, ten feet between the walls to the left and right of him. The sounds of their feet hitting the gray tiled floor as they walked echoed.
"So, that paramedic couldn't hear me because I'm dead?" he asked.
"Yes, but you’re still here, and that’s all that matters, OK?" she said with a warm smile, pushing the button with the arrow going up.
"Where does the button with the arrow going down lead to?"
"Somewhere," she chuckled.
"Oh, it goes to the bad place?"
He felt stupid, thinking that should be the obvious answer, but then again, this is not the death he learned about. This didn’t feel much different than trying to interrupt the bible. Some details made sense, others, not one lick.
"It leads somewhere but nowhere you need to concern yourself with right now,” she winked, patting his shoulder and smiling.
"But it does lead to hell, right?" he grinned.
"Triton, please!" she chuckled.
"Alright, alright,” he laughed, feeling a little better.
The elevator doors opened.
"After you,” she said, pointing to the elevator.
Realizing he was using humor as a defense mechanism, he began to feel stupid, thinking he sounded as if he made no sense.
Staring inside the elevator, his hesitance kept his feet from entering. Fear had his body frozen. Mac could see his fearful reluctance, wrapped her fingers around his and assisted him inside. Her gentle touch eased his mind. The doors closed, and the mystery continued. Trembling with anxiety, he could feel the pins and needles flowing throughout his body. He figured if death is like this, there are going to be a lot of people with questions.
The button panel contained several numbers and letters. Symbols ran on the buttons underneath the numbers and letters panel. The numbers were listed, 0-9, and the letters went from A-Z. The symbols included # and *.
He wondered what was on each floor but of course, he knew this was no ordinary elevator, let alone no ordinary building. She pressed the number 7,4,2, which lit up. The elevator started its course. Wondering what was so significant about those numbers, he had to ask.
“Why seven, four, two?”
“Wow, you are quite a curious fellow, aren’t you?” she giggled.
“Yeah, I guess, sorry,” he said, feeling embarrassed.
“Curiosity is medicine for the mind!” she smiled. “Keeps it active! Actually, the numbers get us to where we need to go.”
“So, the numbers have no significance?”
“Everything has significance,” she winked.
The way she used her words impressed him, though, at this point in time, he would have done anything to take his mind off his totaled car, including letting his mind wonder about the numbers on an elevator in the afterlife. He wasn’t sure why he even cared, now that he was dead, but the vehicle still meant something to him.
"You don't give straight answers, do you?" he chuckled.
"I do give straight answers,” she smiled. “They might not make sense to you at the moment, but they are straight, she grinned.”
"Yeah, I can see that,” he laughed. “I'm asking too many questions."
"No, not at all. Always hold on to that curiosity. It'll keep your mind in one place, and I’m glad to see laughing."
"My curiosity does make me sound weird," he sighed, feeling depressed again.
"You’re too hard on yourself!" she said with a warm smile. “Always remember you have it, and it makes you a unique person with a mind full of wonder!”
The elevator doors opened, revealing a lobby with two chairs on one side and a white sofa and love-seat on the other side. Pictures of different parts of the world and the universe hung on the white walls. Only one door existed in the room, which was the same color as the walls. The room looked like the lobby at the doctor’s office. The air smelled fresh and pure.
The elevator doors closed behind them and she guided him to the chairs. He felt unsure as to whether he should be nervous, scared, frustrated, excited, or a dozen other emotions that randomly and consistently ran through his mind, although, nervous and frightened were currently winning.
"What is this place?" he asked, looking around.
"Make yourself comfortable," she said, walking to the one and only door.
“Please don’t leave me!” he begged.
“Relax, Triton,” she laughed. “I won’t be long,” she said right before walking through the door and closing it behind her.
He felt as if she shrugged him off and tried putting it out of his head, knowing he had bigger problems. Taking a seat in the love-seat, his mind raced with thoughts of the accident, what happened afterward, meeting Mackenzie, and what other disasters the future would bring.
The door opened and an attractive middle-aged woman stood in the doorway. She wore a black dress that ended at her ankles, which made her green broach stand out on her gray cardigan. Her black hair in curls flowed down past her back. The outfit brought out her brown eyes.
"Triton, come in," she said in a British accent, signaling for him to follow her inside the room. Her accent reminded him of that one strict head mistress in a British movie. Intimidating as hell. To him, anyway. The poor guy felt as if he had been called to the principle’s office. Even that would have been less frightening than this. He followed her through the door, which led to an office. She pointed to two comfy-looking chairs. "Take a seat."
"OK,” he said, picking the one to his right.
The office looked the same size as the lobby. Pictures hung on the wall of different places on the earth, monuments from different countries, mountains, oceans, lakes, and cities. A large black laptop sat on her desk, along with an office phone with extension buttons and yellow lights, a small pile of folders and documents. The chair he sat in felt like a soft cloud. Though it relaxed him, the current situation had the word ‘Worry’ written all over it. The anxiety mixed with the excitement equaled panic. Due to his anxiousness, he waited in silence for her to speak.
"My name is Marion, Marion Sharp,” she politely smiled, extending her hand for him to shake.
“Nice, uh, nice to meet you,” he smiled back with nervousness in his voice, shaking her hand.
From the beginning he felt as if he had not been given any straight answers. He hoped that she could answer at least a couple.
"I'll be outside," said Mac, backing out of the room.
"Thank you, Mackenzie," she said as Mac closed the door. Marion took a seat next to him. Now that Mackenzie wasn’t around, he felt lost. Lost and alone. Not only that but also scared and confused. There were times that he hated not knowing what the future will bring. “As I said, my name is Marion, Marion Sharp. I am in charge of watching over the universe’s creations.”
“So, are you and Mackenzie um, angels?” he asked with hesitation, not wanting to sound stupid. Even thought he already asked this question, he wanted to hear what response this Marion lady would give.
“It’s not like I haven’t heard that one before,” she chuckled. “No, I’m a spirit who has been watching over you for quite sometime, and Mackenzie is a spiritual guide who will be sending you back to earth.”
“Wait a tick, I have to go back to that corrupt dangerous place???” he asked with a shocked look on his face.
“Yes, Triton,” she answered with a small chuckle.
“But why?”
“You aren’t ready to move on.” A baffled look appeared on his face. “The ones on earth that struggle to make everyday decisions, become paralyzed by their own fears, who let their struggles hold them back in life... I feel their pain, their suffering, their tears, their hunger, I feel what’s in their hearts… in this case, your heart. I then pass these feelings off to a spiritual guide. Yours is Mackenzie. Her job as spiritual guide is to decide what is best for you… in this case again, she has decided to send you back to earth. Once you return, she and I work together on assisting you, though she’s more of a field person, and I’m more of an office person.”
“This is going to suck major ass!” he said, feeling frustrated. “I must say, that sounds exhausting feeling what others feel.”
“You have no idea, Triton,” she chuckled.
“Am I going back a ghost?”
“No, the spirit never dies. Every living thing in the universe is created, every living thing lives, and every living thing dies. When death finds those living things, those living things still live on… in the afterlife because they are a creation. Creations can die, but never be destroyed.”
"That makes sense, but what’s going to happen to me exactly?" he asked with his body shaking. “You said I’m going back to earth, but then what?”
"I'll explain,” she smiled. She noticed his hands shaking. “Are you OK?” she asked with a concerned look.
“Yeah, just a little anxiety,” he answered.
“I understand,” she said in a comforting voice. “Because of your anxiety, social interactions have always been a challenge, indecisiveness made it impossible for you to make simple choices, and crippling anxiety prevented you from acting.”
“Yeah, that’s me,” he chuckled. “Doctor ‘No Social Interactions’, Mr. Indecisiveness, and King Crippling anxiety,” he laughed.
“Yes,” she laughed with him. “And you’ve earned all of those tittles.”
What she said made sense but accepting the current situation was difficult for him. Dying and now this? He tried to get as many answers as possible. With other people he felt like a burden asking questions, but he no problem making an exception this time, asking as many questions as his mind conjured up.
“Can I ask you a question, Triton?” she asked, looking directly into his eyes.
He knew whenever a person said his name like that when asking “Can I ask you a question?”, he knew the question would be a serious one.
“Uh, sure,” he said.
“When you made your suicide attempt a few years ago, did you believe you had nothing worth living for?” she asked, looking him in the eye with sadness in her eyes.
This question made him feel uncomfortable. For certain, the girl knew everything about him, and it gave him the creeps.
“I don’t really know,” he answered as his face turned red with embarrassment.
“Sometimes when people struggle in life, they are under the impression they are out of options and the only solution for them is to end their life.”
“I guess I did think that.” He shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what else to say.
“The life you ran away from could have been one containing wonderful experiences. Not every single moment could have been wonderful, but some at least. That’s what life is though... risks! You opted out on living. You lost out on the pleasure from new experiences, some at which would have been amazing experiences, plus you were always afraid to take the first step or make the next move.”
She knew what kind of person he had become. Shy, backwards, nervous, and scared. In his opinion, she wasn't wrong about any of this.
"That sounds about right," he chuckled.
Figuring there’s no point in denying it, admitting it would make more sense.
“You could have had a successful career, fallen in love with someone right for you, and you could have made more friends, decent friends, and not the kind you had in the past that used you and took advantage of your kindness.”
“I don’t deserve a life like that,” he said, looking down at his hands, feeling worthless.
“Yes, you do, Triton! Mackenzie will be sending you back to earth to learn how to face obstacles, take on difficult challenges, and face fear… kind of like a learning experience. Everything from the social anxiety to the most debilitating fears."
“I don’t know if I can do this,” he said with panic forming in his heart as his heart rate increased.
“This experience will be a life-changing one. You’ll learn how to live, accept happiness when it’s offered to you, enjoy every moment handed to you, and every experience will help your spirit grow flourish.”
Every horrid thought entered his mind. I’m going to get killed again. What if someone shoots me? I could get my throat slit. I’m going to get shot. A manic could even pull my teeth out one by one. Over and over again, his mind conjured up the most disturbing thoughts.
“Am I being reborn?!” he asked with a worried look. “I don't want to go through that again!"
"No, no, that's not it," she chuckled. “Relax!”
Now beyond overthinking, he felt a panic attack emerging. He tried pulling his thoughts together but the confusion kept taking over is brain.
"If I'm not being reborn, how am I going back?"
"You will go back to earth as you are now, same body, same person. Once you have learned how to face your fears, conqueror obstacles courageously, and restore complete faith in yourself, you move on to the next chapter. Easy as pie!”
“So, what happens after I’m done? I mean where do I move on to?"
"Baby steps! You don't need to concern yourself with that right now. This anxiety has crippled you long enough. You cannot be happy living like this. I know I wouldn’t be!”"
Returning to earth sounded like an utter nightmare. Every emotion and feeling paced around inside him. Fear. Frustration. Anger. Anxiety. Worry. Helplessness. Hopelessness. Sadness. Excitement. Anxiousness. All crammed together.
"I’m still not understand this,” he said in a confused voice. “If I'm not being reborn or returning as a ghost, how am I returning exactly?”
"Uh, well,” she chuckled. “Well, you’ll return in your spirit form, but you’ll also look like your everyday, normal self," she explained. "You will look like person, eat like a person, go to the bathroom like a person, and even talk to the TV like a person,” she laughed. “You will do all the normal and unusual things that people do. You will look like you do now, your own beautiful, brown hair, blue-eyed self,” she said with a kind smile.
“Oh, I think I understand now,” he said, blushing from her compliment, though he wasn’t sure if he should take it as a compliment, thinking she may be using it to prove a point. "I'm starting to feel a bit, uh-" he paused, moaning. It felt as if every emotion was coursing through his body at the same time.
“Anxious? Scared? Worried? All the above?"
"Yeah,” he chucked. “How did you know?"
"Because you’re ready," she said with a bright smile. His eyes watched as she walked to the door and signaling for Mac. "He's ready, Mackenzie!" she yelled out the door.
“Wait! Now???” he asked with his jaw dropped. “I don’t think I can do this?”
“It’s OK, Triton,” she said, handing him off to Mac, who grabbed his arm. “Returning to earth, the worse challenge that you will have to worry about facing is-” she paused, grinning. “You!”
“Follow me" said Mac.
“Good luck, Triton,” Marion said cheerfully before heading back inside her office and closing the door.
He followed Mac to the elevator. Hoping that this was all a dream, he tried to stay calm and kept telling himself that he would wake up any moment now. Until then, he convinced himself to go with the flow.
“So, do I call you Mackenzie or Mac?” he asked.
“Whatever you want to call me,” she chuckled. “Some people call me Mackenzie, other’s Mac. I’m not particular. To be honest, there was this one girl who started calling me Mac, and that’s what got it started, but I have no preference.”
“OK, just wondering. Um is Marion your boss or something?” he asked with curiosity on his face.
“No, she’s in charge of keeping an eye on the ones like yourself, who let their fears take over,” she answered. “Once that person dies, she sends them to me. My job is to send you back to earth and guide you spiritually.”
She pressed the arrow button that pointed down. The elevator door opened. "Ready?" she smiled, winking twice.
He felt far from ready though. Knowing that he barely survived on earth the first time, he dreaded the fact that he had to go back. Feeling sick to his stomach, he didn’t want to return at all.
"I’m not sure about this," he said in an uncertain voice.
"It’s OK,” she smiled, patting his back. “I’ll be with you.”
"You will?"
"Yes, Triton, as I said, I’m your spiritual guide. I’ll be walking you through this every step of the way. You will never have to worry about being alone ever again,” she said with a warm smile. “All you have to do, honey, is put in the work and I will help you figure the rest out." She noticed the him staring at the elevator with fear on his face, shaking. "Don’t worry,” she smiled, caressing his shoulder. “I know you’re scared, but it’s OK to be scared! You will figure it out as you go along! Now, it's time.” she grabbed his arm and walked him into the elevator. She pressed the ’Ground’ button and backed out of the elevator. “Please don’t worry!”