Teresa's beginning 2006

So i am asking you all to bear with me. I have tried telling this story too many times to count i will admit. I always end up speeding it up and missing key details or missing things i wanted to add. So here is my last try. Here it goes......

Teresa's life had not been easy in her short 17 years of age. She grew up in a loving home with both her mother and father, 5 siblings, lots of love and laughter. Teresa had been bullied relentlessly at school. The bullying had given her self esteem issues, trust issues, self body image issues, even confidence issues. She tried her best to avoid them but they were always there. The school "tried" everything but it came to a point that no one believed her anymore because she was by herself telling her truth and the bullies had more than person telling their "truth."
In 2006 Teresa was living in Alaska with her sister. Her mom had decided that she was into too much trouble in their home town and thought a fresh start would be best for her; so off to Alaska she flew. Teresa loved spending time with her sister Leilani and her niece Elizabeth. She had missed Leilani so much since she had left home to join the military. Truth be told she didnt get to see her niece Elizabeth or spend time with her that often before moving in with them. It was supposed to be a temporary stay, 5 short months but what felt to Teresa like forever.
2006 changed alot of things for Teresa. In April of that year, over easter weekend, she found out she was pregnant(6 months along already). Teresa didnt know she was expecting as she still got her aunt flo every month and showed no outwardly symptoms of expecting a baby. Teresa found out she conceived in October 2005. It was then she remembered, Teresa had went to a party with some friends, had one drink, and woke up the next day. No memory of what had happened the night before. Being the naive 17 year old she was, she thought simply she had maybe drank a little too much and fallen asleep. She couldnt be more wrong.
After finding out she was expecting Teresa was beside herself. She had no idea how to raise a baby, let alone herself. She was only 17!!! It was decided that her sister Leilani and her husband Paul would adopt the baby, and raise him as their own. Yes, Teresa was to have a little boy. Very quickly after Easter of that year she started preparing for the baby. She got a job working at Baskin Robbins on base, she started taking care of herself better, started to accept the fact of what her fate was to be.
In May, spring was in full swing. Teresa was working her job as best she could with her growing pregnant belly. Teresa did not celebrate mothers day with Leilani. She felt she didnt deserve to as she was technically a mother yes but she was preparing to give her baby up. That month Teresa went with Leilani and Elizabeth to pick up Paul from the airport. He was coming home from the Middle East after 6 long months. It was then while walking out to the vehicle afterwards that she was ackwardly introduced to Robert. Teresa would not remember this encounter but it would be brought up again later and thrown into her face.
After welcoming Paul home in may; before Teresa knew it, it was June. Her baby was due July 4th so she had only a month to get ready. Teresa had trouble accepting the fact that her first born would be adopted but she had comfort in knowing that the baby would be with a family member and not some stranger. Fathers day weekend rolled around and Teresa went with the whole family to a friends house for a bbq. During the bbq she was bombarded with uncomfortable questions, stares, ackward comments, and
derogatory comments.
It was that Tuesday after Fathers day, June 20th, Teresa woke up to a wet spot in bed. It looked like someone had accidentally spilled a glass of water, there was that little. Teresa thought she must have wet the bed as some pregnant women do. She got up, stripped the bed down, and started the laundry to get it clean. It was while Teresa was getting dressed that she felt herself still leaking, as if wetting her pants like a toddler. Teresa called Leilani who called Paul. Leilani couldnt get out of work so Paul came home to pick her up and take her to the doctor 25 miles away. After a quick check it was determined that Teresas water had broke. The day she was looking forward to and dreading at the same time was here. Her baby, who was safe and warm inside her 17 year old pregnant belly, was about to make his entrance into the world. Teresa went next door to the hospital and prepared to give birth.
After a grueling 26 hours of pain, epidurals, nurses, doctors, her sister Leilani being her birthing coach, keeping Teresas parents updatedl; Teresas baby boy was born. Teresa and Leilani had decided to name him after their father since this baby would be the first born Grandson. James Edward was born June 21 of that year. He came out screaming with a full head of jet black hair, long and skinny. Teresa couldnt believe it! Her baby was finally here, not safe and warm in her womb anymore. Teresa took one look at the perfection wrapped up in a swaddle blanket being placed into her loving arms, and knew she couldnt do it. Her heart broke but she could not do it. Teresa could not make the decision to give this perfect baby that was hers, to her sister. Teresa counted all 10 toes and 10 fingers, kissed his tiny button nose, smelled his hair, and held onto him. Tiny James was hers, and she was his. Teresa in the moment knew what pure love felt like.
After being discharged from the hospital, bringing tiny James home, life catapulted into a fast pace. Teresa was still working so there was getting back to work, babysitters, sleepless nights, bottles, diapers, etc...Everything that comes with having a newborn in the house. Leilani and Paul helped out with little James. They helped Teresa with late night feedings, diaper changes, expenses, and everything in between. Teresa was so very grateful for their help.
July 9th that year Teresas life would change forever and she didnt even know it. Teresa was at work at Baskin Robbins when Robert came in. He ordered a mint chocolate chip brownie sunday. He was in his fatigue uniform. It was a sunday and he had just gotten off of weekend duty. After Teresa made him his order, she noticed he went and sat down by himself in the food court. The lobby was empty, no one was around, and Teresa couldnt help but feel sorry for him sitting their by himself. So Teresa wiped down the counters, washed her hands, and walked over to Robert. Sure, he wasnt the most attractive person in the world, but something about him drew her in. Teresa greeted him and asked to sit down. Robert readily agreed. After talking for a half hour Teresa found him to be charming. She barely knew the guy but wanted to know him more.
At closing time Robert was still there. He turned to leave while Teresa started her closing duties. She blurted out, "what are you doing in a about an hour?" Robert looked at her, sighed, and said "nothing why?" Teresa thought about it for a minute, and asked him if he wanted to hang out after work. Robert readily agreed. Teresa wasnt sure what he knew about her. All she knew about him was what he had told her and that he worked in the same building as her sister. An hour later, Teresa was off work, walking out the back door, about to walk home and clean up to hang out with Robert. It was then she walked out and saw Robert there. He was talking on his cell phone standing next to his truck. When he noticed her, he quickly hung up his phone and said hi. Teresa let him know she had walked to work and was planning on walking home. Robert offered to walk with her home. Teresa thought this was ackward but agreed. After all, they were on a military base, she had never felt safer.
While walking home from work with Robert; Teresa found out alot. She found out that he knew her age, about her son, her circumstances, all of it. Apparently she was the talk of the work shop and she never knew it! After walking home, he waited outside for her while she took a 2 minute shower, got dressed. Teresa on impulse grabbed baby james and put him in his car seat after changing him and making a bottle. Teresa walked outside with James in his carseat, attached to his stroller. She immediatley thought Robert would not want to spend time with her after she saw the look on his face when she walked out with baby James. Teresa felt it was right to let Robert know what he was getting himself into if he wanted to continue spending time with her.
That night, July 9th summer night in Alaska, Teresa went for a walk with her baby in a stroller, and Robert around base. They talked about everything from siblings, to jobs, to parents, to families, where they were both from, and everything else in between. With the Alaska summers staying sunlight round the clock it was hard to judge how late it was. Turns out they ended up walking and talking for 3 hours, and sitting at her sisters house talking for 3 more. Before Teresa knew it, it was 3am. They stayed up all night talking!!
After letting Robert know he should probably get back to his dorm, Teresa walked him to the front door. After ackward teenage hugs, and good byes, Robert kissed Teresa for the first time. Teresa was shocked. She was not expecting it, and let alone thought he would even like her.
From there, Robert and Teresa were inseperable. They spent every waking moment when not at work, together. They made sure to have baby James with them so as not to put it all on Leilani and Paul. On the evening of July 23rd, while out for a evening walk, Robert asked Teresa what she thought about marriage. Teresa stopped dead in her tracks. She wasnt ready for that, wasnt even sure if she felt that way about Robert, it had only been 2 weeks of dating!! Teresa explained that she wanted marriage some day, but wasnt sure if that some day, was in fact that day. Robert went on to explain that their were rumors going around the work shop that we were already engaged. People also kept commenting how funny it would be for him to marry Leilani's little sister. After talking it over, running the scenarios through her head, thinking of her future with her son and the fact that he would need a father figure, Teresa thought why not? So when Robert asked again, "why dont we get married?" Teresa was thinking this isnt romantic, there is no bended knee proposal, no ring, just a question. Teresa knew she didnt love Robert at that moment but felt she could grow to love him. She felt terrible for thinking that way but she was left with two options, 1) continue living with her sister feeling like a burden and no future ahead of her or 2) marry this somewhat decent guy whos not the most attractive, but loves her and her baby. Robert had a job, income, stability, a vehicle, no criminal record. Teresa thought okay why not number 2 option and agreeed.
She had no idea that agreeing to marry Robert, agreeing to have a future with him, agreeing to spending her life with him, would grow to be one of her biggest regrets in life.



More to follow later....