MEET THE BARON

Five people sat around the blackjack table at the Majestic Casino: Granny Weatherbee, an eighty-year-old card sharp, who had been playing professionally for over fifty years, and won far more often than a sweet-looking little old lady should be capable of; Hershel Cravits, a forty-something businessman with grey-streaked black hair, and a nasty habit of chewing Havana cigars while gambling, since he was no longer allowed to smoke them in the casino. Also, the dealer, a smartly dressed black man whose name tag identified him as Anthony, plus Peter Spaulding a short, near dwarf with stringy blonde hair and a fiery temper when he was losing, which was frequently. Then there was the gorgeous, thirty-something redhead, Rusty, who had only been gambling at all, let alone at the Majestic for a little over four years.

Looking at Rusty, Anthony asked: "Should I hit you, Rusty?"

She looked down seeing that she had fifteen points and said: "If you don't deal me another card soon, Anthony, I'll hit you."

"And she has punched out bigger men than you, Anthony," said Granny Weatherbee with a chuckle.

He dealt her a seven of spades.

"Shit," she said throwing down her cards: "That's twenty-two, bust again."

Looking down at her poultry remaining chips, she said: "I'll need more credit."

"I'll have to call the manager to confirm it, ma'am," said Anthony.

"Are you new here?" asked Rusty.

"Yes, ma'am, my first day here. But I'll still have to call Mr. Boggles, the manager." He signalled for the manager who came across to the table.

"He wants to know if my credit is any good here," said Rusty.

"Yes, indeed, Rusty's credit is unlimited here," said Irvin Boggles. He signalled to the cashier: "Bring over a hundred thousand dollars worth of chips for Rusty, please Steffi."

"Right away, Mr. Boggles," said the cashier, a very tasty blonde in something akin to a bunny suit. But without the ears or cottontail. Grabbing a stack of chips, she raced across to the blackjack table, doing her best to avoid the male hands trying to pinch her bottom as she swayed past them.

"Here you go, Rusty," she said, carefully counting the chips out for the redhead.

"Thank you, Steffi," said the Redhead.

"Thank you Rust ..." She squealed and jumped as Hershel Cravits pinched her behind.

Covering her rear end, Steffi raced back to the safety of the cashier's cage as quickly as possible.

"That'll be enough of that!" advised Irvin Boggles. "You can look, but you can't touch."

"She was flaunting it," insisted Hershel.

"No she wasn't," said the Manager. He was tempted to have the businessman thrown out. But Cravits was what the casino called a good customer -- one who lost steadily. "Just watch it ... but don't touch it."

"Whatever you say," said Hershel.

"Can we get on with the game?" demanded Rusty.

"Of course, Rusty, my apologies," said Boggins fawning over the gorgeous redhead.

"All right, let's have another deal, Anthony."

"Right away, Miss Rusty," said Anthony. Not sure who she was, but he had never seen a Casino Manager fawn over a gambler before.

He dealt out three cards to each of the players.

Rusty picked up her cards and said: "Three nines. That would be a pretty good hand at poker. But at blackjack, it's a bust."

She threw down her cards and waited for the others to play out the hand.


An hour later Rusty had lost most of her hundred thousand dollars worth of chips and raised her hand to get the cashier's attention again.

"You're having a pretty bad night, luck-wise tonight, Miss Rusty. Don't you think you should quit before you lose too much?" advised Anthony.

"It's Mrs. Baron and I can never lose too much."

"Miss ... M ... Mrs. Baron?" asked Anthony, dropping his cards.

"That's right. And when I want your opinion, Anthony, I'll ask for it."

"Yes, of course, Mrs. Baron, ma'am." Realising now why the manager had fawned to her earlier.

Anthony started to raise his hand for Steffi to bring over more chips when there came the sound of sub-machinegun fire out in the hallway. Then three men all in black wearing hoodies dashed into the gaming room and gunned down the Manager plus five armed guards.

Squealing Steffi ducked for cover under the cashier's counter.

One of the men, Lonny, the leader of the bandits walked across to the cashier's booth and hammered on the door, saying: "Open up, Hot Stuff."

"You won't shoot me, will you?" Steffi asked.

"Not on purpose, Hot Stuff, but if I have to shoot in the door, a ricochet might hit you."

Crawling across to the door, she let him in, then stood up.

"Where's the cash, Hot Stuff?"

She pointed to a black CMI - HG1 Homeguard Plus Safe.

"It has three different locking choices," she said, obviously impressed.

"As long as you know the one used so that you can unlock it for me."

"Yes sir," said Steffi, hurrying across to unlock the safe for him.

"I'm glad you didn't give me the usual bullshit!"

"Hey, it ain't my money," she said, "and having seen you kill Mr. Boggles, the Manager, I ain't gonna risk getting shot to protect someone else's money."

Hurriedly he emptied the cash, well over a million dollars, into a black satchel he was carrying, then he grabbed Steffi, pulled her close, then gave her a big kiss.

Looking her up and down he said: "I wish I had time to do more with you, Hot Stuff, you're one sweet dish. But I gotta run."

"Thank..." she said stopping to squeal as he pinched her bottom. Rubbing her backside, she said: "Why does everyone want to pinch my bottom."

"You have a very pinchable bottom, Hot Stuff," he said, running out into the gambling room. "Okay let's grab some hostages and get going."

"Why do we need hostages?" moaned Horace, a tall, thin, dumb-looking man.

"Because I'm the leader, and I say so," said Lonny. Going across to Rusty Baron's table he said: "All right these five will do."

"You're making a big mistake," warned Granny Weatherbee.

Pointing the Uzi at her he said, "Shut your trap you old bag, or I'll shut it for you."

"I'm just saying...." He cocked the Uzi and the old lady shut up.

"Okay, everybody up."

Anthony, Granny, Peter Spaulding, and Hershel Cravits all rose and followed after the robbers.

Walking across to Rusty, Lonny said: "You too, Gorgeous."

"You're making a big mistake..." she said, stopping as he grabbed her jaw and shouted:

"I said on your feet!"

"All right," she said. She shook her head as she stood up, as though she couldn't believe his stupidity.


Outside in the corridor, they took the elevator, which they already had set on manual, and went straight down to the basement, where their driver had a souped-up black van waiting for them.

"Everybody in," said Lonny sliding open the side door. When Rusty hesitated he pushed her by the backside, virtually hurling her headfirst into the van saying: "You too, gorgeous."

"Oh boy, is he ever in the shit now," said Granny Weatherbee to no one in particular, as she climbed into the van with help from Hershel Cravits and Peter Spaulding.

Just missing the security guard, a doddering old timer named Timmie, more by bad luck than by timing, the van zoomed up the ramp and was out into the street in seconds. Just before the guard received a phone call to lock off the ramp exit.

He pushed a red button and a steel security screen lowered from the roof at the top of the ramp, then auto-locked into place.

"That'll stop any robbers trying to escape," said the guard, unaware that they had already zoomed out.

Outside sirens roared as Victoria Police arrived, only minutes too late to catch the bandits.


An hour later, having checked the rest of the Casino, the cops were in the basement interviewing Timmie.

"So no one went out this way?" asked Sergeant Temms.

"Not after I got the phone call, no," said Timmie: "But half a dozen people piled into a black van and whooshed out just before I got the call."

"Oh, shit!" said Temms: "What kind of a van was it?"

"I told ya, a black one. Hell, I ain't Henry Ford, I'm no expert on vans. A van's a van as far as I'm concerned."

"Shit!" said the Sergeant hanging his head.

"Well, don't blame me. It was outta here before I got the call. I had no reason to pay special attention to it," insisted Timmie.

"Fair enough, old timer," said Temms as they went back upstairs. To one of his constables, he said: "Tessa, they say you only get what you pay for. So if casinos will cheap out and hire retired old farts, they can't complain if they're not up to the job."

"Yes, sir," said Tessa.


At the bandits' home just three streets away from the casino, they had tied all of the hostages to chairs. Except for the gorgeous redhead.

"How about you and me going upstairs for a bit of fun?" Lonny said to her.

"No thanks, I only do it with human beings. Not apes."

Lonny slapped her hard across the face, knocking Rusty off her feet.

"Is that so!" he shouted down at her.

"Oh boy, are you in the shit now," said Granny Weatherbee.

"Look, what is your problem, Granny?" demanded Lonny, rounding on her.

"That casino you robbed belongs to Robbie Baron."

"R...R...Robbie Baron?" he stammered: "The Robbie Baron."

"Aha," said Granny.

"The big-time gangster Robbie Baron."

"Aha."

"Who the press call the Baron of the Crime, the Baron of the Underworld?"

"That's right," said Granny. "But as they used to say in the campy 1960s Batman show, 'The worst is yet to come'. That redhead you made an unsubtle pass at, then slapped across the face happens to be Rusty Baron. Robbie Baron's new wife. His beloved wife."

"What are the chances that we could get away with killing Lonny, then releasing The Baron's wife, with the satchel full of money?" asked Terry. "Do you think Robbie would let us live and not hurt us too badly?"

"Hey, what're you mean killing me?" demanded Lonny.

"Well you're the one who threatened to shoot her, then pushed her roughly into the van," said Terry. "Then made a crude pass at her before slapping her in the face, when she called you an ape." Looking at Rusty, who had climbed back to feet while they were discussing her, he said: "Excuse me, Mrs. Baron, Ma'am, but what would our chances be?"

"Not very good," said Rusty honestly. "My husband doesn't believe in forgive, and he never forgets. He's been known to have men castrated, their testicles turned into a paste, which he has had on his breakfast toast. Then got friends of his in the triads to cut them into tiny pieces with samurai swords. All because they looked at me the wrong way."

"The ... the triads?" asked Terry. "The Baron has friends in the triads?"

"Many, he does a lot of business in the Orient. Most triad bosses in this country would do anything for my husband."

"We are so dead," said Horace, a third bandit. He eats men's nuts as a paste on toast."

"No, no, not anymore. I refused to kiss him for a week after he did that each time. So now he feeds the paste to his pet Japanese Fighting Fish."

"I don't know that that is much of an improvement," said Lonny in a panic.

"Importantly, don't panic or you might do something stupid, which will only get you in deeper," said Rusty.

"She's right," agreed Anthony.

"I don't know, I think they're already as good as dead," said Granny Weatherbee.

"You're not helping," said Terry.

"He's right," agreed Hershel Cravits.

"Maybe we should turn the news on and see if there's anything about us on it," suggested Peter Spaulding.

"Good idea," said Lonny turning on the television.

On the screen, beautiful sixty-year-old Lisa Nowland, regarded by many as just a gorgeous gossip columnist, was interviewing Robbie Baron. Also sixty-ish, but less good-looking than Lisa. He was tall, athletic, with immaculately cut raven hair wearing black slacks and a mustard coloured velvet jacket.

"Mr. Baron, you have a reputation for violence and mayhem," said Lisa, making Robbie look shocked. "Is it true that you've put a million-dollar hit out on the men who have robbed your casino and kidnapped your beautiful new wife?"

"What hit?" asked The Baron, acting shocked. "I'm not a gangster; I don't put out hits."

"Really?" asked Lisa, clearly unconvinced.

"I have offered a reward of one million dollars for information leading to their arrest and the release of my gorgeous wife, Rusty. If one, or all, of the kidnappers, should accidentally get killed in capturing them, that is hardly my fault."

"As I told you," said Rusty, "he's not very big on forgive and forget."

"We worked that out for ourselves," said Lonny.

"So if they get, let's say massacred, in capturing them, that will be entirely unintentional?" asked Lisa, pouting her sexiest cupid's bow-lipped pout.

"Absolutely," said Robbie Baron. Then to the TV screen: "If you're watching this, baby, I love you. And I'll do whatever I have to, to get you back alive and unharmed."

"Well that told us a whole lotta nothing," said Lonny, turning off the TV.

"Except that he's put a hit out on us," said Terry.

"And that he doesn't believe in forgive and forget," said Horace.

"It also gave me an idea of how to get you idiots out of this mess that you've got yourselves into," said Rusty.

"How?" asked Ronnie, the fourth robber.

"Well ... it involves kidnapping Lisa Nowland," said Rusty. "Who's with me on this?"

"Sounds good to me," said Horace, "she's almost as hot as you, Rusty. Almost."

"And you can touch her, without my husband killing you all."

"There is that too," admitted Ronnie.


Lisa Nowland was drying off her beautiful platinum blonde hair, with a white towel, having just stepped out of a hot shower.

She dropped her white towelling dressing gown on the floor and walked across to her huge walk-in wardrobe to select a seductive black teddy to wear. Wishing that she had someone to wear it for that night. Unaware that four new men were just about to walk into her life.

She slipped into pink fluffy slippers and headed toward the lounge room, also draped out in moocho pink, ready to settle in for an evening of back-to-back Reese Witherspoon movies.

She made herself a Pina colada, sat down, clicked on the DVD, took a sip, and then heard hammering at the front door.

"Who the Hell can that be?" she said: "When I was just settling down to an evening with my BFF, Reese."

Pausing the movie, she trotted down the corridor and decided not to put on her towelling dressing gown. Instead, she stood behind the door as she latched it, then opened it to ask: "Who is it?"

"Kidnappers," said Lonny.

"What...?" said Lisa.

Lonny kicked the door open, sending Lisa flying onto the floral carpet as the door whacked her in the forehead.

Picking her up, Lonny headed out to the van, saying: "Grab some of her stuff."

"What stuff?" asked Horace.

"Her clothing, dummy," said Ronnie: "We can't send her out to meet the Baron in just a teddy. No matter how sexy she looks in it."

They located her walk-in closet in her bedroom and started rummaging through it.

"What'll we take?" asked Horace.

"Don't ask me," said Terry: "I prefer helping women out of their clothing. Not helping them to dress."

"Just grab everything that we can fit into the van, not forgetting a few boxes of shoes," suggested Ronnie: "You know how women are with shoes?"

"Not really," said Horace: "Like most men, women have always been a bit of a mystery to me."


So, when Lisa finally woke up in the back of the van, she was almost asphyxiating in mountains of her own clothing.

"What the Hell's going on here?" she demanded.

"Boss's orders," said Lonny: "To grab you and take plenty of your clothing too."

"Who's your boss?" she asked: "Robbie Baron?"

"No, his wife, Rusty."

"Rusty Baron is your boss?" asked Lisa, unsure if she had heard correctly.

"Sort of," said Lonny, going on to explain exactly what had happened.

Unable to resist laughing she said: "You stole two million dollars from a casino, without knowing the Baron of the Underworld owned it? Then to make matters worse you kidnapped his wife, without even knowing who she was?"

"That about sums it up?" agreed Lonny.

"Ah ha-ha," that is the funniest thing I have ever heard," said Lisa, laughing hysterically: "You blokes are as good as dead already."

"Unless you can help us to get out of trouble."

"Why would I bother to do that?"

"Because we'll kill you if you don't."

No longer laughing, Lisa said: "All right you've got me convinced."


At their lair, Rusty said: "Lisa, you're going to see my husband to try to convince him to not murder these idiots who accidentally kidnapped me."

She waved her hand around and said: "And these other people too."

"I'm glad you didn't forget us, missy," said Granny Weatherbee.

"Have could I forget you, Granny," said Rusty sweetly. Then less sweetly: "Your loud mouth never closes long enough for me to forget you're here."

"How dare you! I am not a big mouth!"

"Yes, you are!" shouted Rusty, Lonny, and everyone else in the room, except Granny and Lisa.

"Don't you agree with me, Lisa?" asked Rusty.

"Only because I don't know the old battleaxe well enough to form an opinion."

"Fair enough," said Rusty.

"How dare you?" demanded Granny: "How old are you, Lisa?"

"Sixty. How old are you?"

"Sixty-eight."

Everyone looked from luscious Lisa to gruesome Granny, then gaped open-mouthed.

"You mean I'm gonna look like that in less than a decade?" asked Lisa: "I'd soon slash my own throat!"

"Give me a knife and I'll do it for you right now," said Granny.

"Okay, now while Lisa is going to see Robbie, I want Anthony, and Granny, so that we can get rid of her, to take the one-point-six million back to the casino with apologies from the idiots who stole it?"

"Why don't I just take the money with me to meet the baron?" asked Lisa.

After everyone but Lisa had finished laughing, Rusty said: "You honestly think that I would trust you with one-point-six million dollars of my husband's money?"

"Why not?' demanded the platinum blonde.

"Lisa, you are a lying, deceitful, self-serving bitch."

"And those are only her good points," said Lonny. Making Lisa glare at him, while everybody else laughed.

After blindfolding Lisa again, Horace and Ronnie took her back out to the van to meet the Baron. Then, after returning they went again with Anthony, the dealer, and Granny Weatherbee.

"Drop the old bag off near the casino, and be sure not to bring her back," said Rusty, seconded by Lonny and Terry. "Then go see how Lisa is getting on. Before going back to check on Anthony."

"Gotcha," said Horace as they headed out again.


They actually dropped off Granny Weatherbee a street away from the casino, then drove Anthony with the black satchel to within a block of the casino.

"Now let's go wait for Lisa," said Ronnie.

"Hopefully she doesn't try skipping out the back of the building," said Horace.

"Frankly, I wouldn't put it past her," said Ronnie: "Rusty was right about that blonde being lying, deceitful and self-serving."


Anthony was a couple of buildings away from the casino when he was approached by three men and one woman, all wearing hoodies and dark sunglasses.

"What ya got in the bag?" asked the woman, a redhead with a strong Irish brogue.

"Medical equipment, I'm a doctor," lied Anthony.

"Is that right now," said one of the men scratching at the left side of his face.

"Yes," insisted the dealer.

"Then how come you're wearing a name tag saying Anthony," asked the woman: "My doctor doesn't wear a name tag like that."

"It's a new..." began Anthony. Stopping as he was punched in the face by one of the men.

Opening the case, the man said: "Lord O Mighty, Colleen, there must be over a million bucks in here."

They started doing a fifth-rate version of Irish Country Dancing for a few seconds, before Colleen said: "We oughta get out of here, Declan."

"I think you're right, sis," he said, and the four of them turned around and started to run back down the street.

Until reaching Fisherman's Alley. Then they turned right into the alley and ran down to the family-sized tent at the end of the alley, which was a cul-de-sac. It had become a sort of a tent city over the last decade, as more and more people put up tents to live in, or lived in wooden packing crates abandoned by deliverymen years ago.

The Murphys' tent was the most impressive being able to hold up to six people in two different 'rooms'. The Murphys quickly grabbed up their few possessions worth taking with them. Then they ran back outside, racing up to the street again.

"Where to now?" asked Colleen.

"I'm tempted to say The Ritz," said Declan: "But even with this kinda moolah, it pays not to be spendthrifts. So let's settle for that two-star dump over in Orion Street."

"Sound fine to me," said another brother, Shamus.

"Me too," said the final Murphy, Shawn.

"Then let's go," said Colleen, and the four of them took off at a run.


At the hotel, two-star or not, the receptionist looked at the motley Murphys with obvious contempt.

"And how will sir be paying for his stay here?"

"With this," said Declan pulling a thick wad of hundred-dollar bills out of the black case.

"Holy shi..." began the receptionist, quickly changing it to: "Er, cash will do nicely, sir."

Counting out two hundred dollars he rang it up, and gave them their key, saying: "Suite 602, on the sixth floor."

"We realised it'd be on the sixth floor, dummy," said Declan, leading his family over to the elevator.

Glaring at them, the receptionist decided not to bother telling them that the elevator wasn't working.

After ten minutes Declan said: "Hey, dummy, is the lift working?"

"No, it's not."

"Then why the Hell didn't you tell us?"

"I'm a dummy, remember," said the receptionist petulantly.

"I'll say," said Colleen as they started to run up the staircase.

A few minutes later a repairman walked in and said: "I'm here to fix the lift."

The receptionist pointed at it, then grinned at the staircase, thinking: Who's the dummy now?


Over at the Baron's Mansion, Lisa was trying to convince him to forgive and forget the robbers.

"They're idiots," insisted Lisa: "As the Lord put it, forgive them for they know not what they do."

"Firstly, don't blaspheme, Jesus was talking about the bloody Romans for murdering him. Secondly, how would it look if I let these idiots off the hook?

"It'd look as if I was going soft. And in this business, I can't afford to have people think that I'm going soft."

"I could be very nice to you," said Lisa, giving him her most seductive, Cupid's bow pout.

Only to be slapped across the face.

"Get away from me, you floozy," said the Baron of Crime: "Why would I want to get friendly with you, when I've got a gorgeous wife like Rusty?"

Rubbing her face and pouting in agony this time, Lisa said: "So what am I, chopped kangaroo meat?"

"You're a looker," he admitted: "But you're no Rusty, she is one gorgeous broad."

If you ever see her again, thought Lisa. Hoping now that the kidnappers would gun down the redhead.


Outside the cast-iron gates of the mansion, Lisa found Horace and Ronnie waiting for her.

"Any luck?" they asked as she climbed back into the van.

"Not unless you count bad luck. He really does not believe in forgive and forget."

"All right, let's go pick up Anthony," instructed Ronnie.


At the casino, they saw Anthony, looking the worse for wear being helped to his feet by the concierge.

"What happened?" asked Lisa, as they all climbed out of the car.

"Four creeps mugged me and stole the mon ... the satchel," said Anthony.

"That's okay, mate," Ronnie said to the concierge: "He's a friend of ours, we'll look after him."

They put Anthony into the back of the van with Lisa, then drove back to their hideout.


Inside the house, Anthony told Rusty and the others what had happened.

"Did you get a look at them?" asked Rusty.

"No, but the woman had red hair, one of the men kept scratching the left side of his face as though he had eczema or something. And they all spoke with broad Irish brogues."

"The Murphys," Rusty said: "Let's go get them."

"You don't think that you're coming with us?" asked Lonny.

"Of course I am," said Rusty: "You blokes are the muscle, but I'm the brains. You couldn't handle it without me."


Ten minutes later they drove down Fisherman's Alley and stopped outside the Murphys' family-sized tent...

Only to find a new family living there.

"Who the Hell are you lot?" asked Rusty: "And what are you doing in the Murphys' tent."

"We live here now," said a man named Joshua. "The Murphys came into some money and moved up-market."

"You wouldn't happen to know where?" asked Lonny.

"I suspect in the Orion Hotel on Orion Street."

"You call that flea pit, moving up-market?"

"It is compared to this rats' nest."

"Well, thanks," said Rusty as she leapt into the cabin of the van with Horace and Lonny. Forcing Terry and Ronnie to get into the back of the van.


At the Orion Hotel, Rusty said: "We need to know in which room the Murphy family is staying?"

"Sorry, madam, but we cannot give out that kind of information," insisted the desk clerk.

Rusty nodded toward Horace, who grabbed the desk clerk and pulled him up onto the reception desk.

"Allow me to repeat," said the redhead: "What room is the Murphy family in?"

"Room 602," said the clerk handing her the key. "You're in luck, the lifts have just been repaired. The Murphys had to run up six flights of steps."

"Horace, stay here and watch him," ordered Rusty, going across to unplug the phone, which she took with her: "Now I've got a weapon too."


"Room service,' called Rusty, knocking on the door to room 602.

"We don't want any bloody room service,' said Declan Murphy.

"I offer very special room service to handsome Irish gentlemen," said Rusty.


"Jesus and Mary," said Declan, racing across to open the door.

"Surprise," said Rusty, whacking him in the face with the phone.

"What the?" said Sheila as the other Murphys raced for their guns.

Rusty stepped into the room, and then Lonny shot off a short burst with his Uzi. Just enough to frighten the Murphys into freezing.

"Over into the corner," said Rusty and the three Murphys rushed to obey. Pointing at Declan, she said to Terry: "Stand on his back, in case he wakes up and tries to stand."

As Terry did as instructed, Rusty said to the Murphys: "I believe you have something that belongs to my husband?"

"One point six million somethings in fact," said Ronnie.

"It's still in the case," said Colleen pointing in the general direction, without looking around.

"I hope you don't mind if I count it. It's not that I don't trust you," said Rusty, making Terry and the others laugh.

Emptying the case onto the sofa, she slowly counted it to make sure that there was still one point six million dollars. Then placing it back into the satchel, she stood well away from the Murphys and said:

"All right, kill them."

"What?" asked Colleen turning round as Lonny and Ronnie gunned down the three Murphys.

Then as Declan began to awaken, Rusty said: "Take care of him too, Terry."

Standing off Declan, Terry opened fire with his Uzi.

"Well, that's a good job, well done," said Rusty.

"You still haven't found a way to get us off the hook with the Baron yet," said Lonny.

"Yes, I have," said the gorgeous redhead going on to relate it to them.

"Hey that might work," said Lonny, clearly impressed.

"But first we need to waste the sarky reception clerk downstairs."

"With pleasure," said Terry.


So they went downstairs and eliminated the reception clerk, then Rusty said: "Right, Terry, Horace, Ronnie drive the van around to collect Lisa and the others. We need everybody here for my plan to work."


Half an hour later they were all in the apartment with Hershel Cravits and Peter Spaulding looking ill at the sight of the four gunned down Murphys. Lisa on the other hand was taking pictures with her mobile phone, ready for that night's exclusive news story.

"Wait till the station sees these," she said: "Call me an aging hack, will they?"

Rusty quickly told them the plan, then said: "Should we take Lisa home first?"

"Why, I'm good at remembering lines. I make them up all the time."

"Yes, I figured that's where you got most of your scoops from."

"Oh pooh," said the platinum blonde.

Rusty went across to the phone to ring her husband, only to find that with the reception phone unplugged, none of the hotel phones were working.

"Who's got a mobile phone?" asked Rusty. Then taking Lisa's phone from her, she rang her husband and told him the good news:

"That's right honey, some blokes at the hotel figured something was up and broke into the apartment and gunned down the Murphys."


"Those scumbag Murphys were the ones who broke into my casino, and kidnapped you, honey?" asked Robbie Baron, cuddling up to his gorgeous wife, twenty minutes later.

"That's right baby," she said snuggling up to him: "And Lonny and his friends put their own lives at risk to save us all."

"Put 'er there mate," said Robbie Baron. Then seeing the black satchel, he went over to it, opened it up, and said: "On second thoughts, I'll put 'er there." Handing Lonny the satchel.

"For us?" asked Lonny.

"A reward for saving my gorgeous lady."

"And we all lived happily ever after," said Rusty.

"Jeez, corny much," said Lisa, making them all laugh.

THE END
© Copyright 2023 Philip Roberts
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia