Lin and Rosie

Lin and Rosie

I could not imagine our friendship would ever run into a snag so big it was beyond repair, Lindsey thought. She had written and sent the text to Rosemary. The one that told her this was just not working out for her. It sounded so awful and ice cold. Lin shot baskets aimlessly at her small trash can with the spent tear-soaked tissues. At day’s end, she would have literally blown through two additional boxes of tissues. That made it worse.

"I should have bought stock in the Kleenex Corporation," she joked to Rosie the last time she used up a box when she was upset. With that thought, she could not stop the floodgates from opening. She collapsed on top of her comforter falling right to sleep.

When she woke up, she grabbed her cell phone. She pressed the speed dial to reach Rosemary. Her friendship meant a lot more to her than she realized. Her call was forwarded to voice mail. She sounded pitiful trying to speak normally. The tears flowed. Rosie's recorded sweet and loving voice made her long to speak to her again. Her voicemail message, starting with “Hi, you have reached Rosemary,” brought back fabulous memories. The wet tears now covered her face, and chin, and began to rain down on her chest. “I should have bought stock in Kleenex a few weeks ago,” she said to her silent phone.

They met online several years ago. It was an instant, magnetic pull she had reaching Lindsey through cyberspace. Lin left a private message during a live online event. That is all it took. Lin and Rosie chatted every morning, every day, for three years. It was as routine as brushing their teeth. In each friendship, there is a giver and a receiver. Lin lavished her new friend with lovely things. Lotions and lavender. Groceries and nickknacks. In return, Rosie would chat on endlessly about faeries and music all while she injected "honey" and "sweetie" It was hard to let her go each day. She was adoring and adorable.

As usual, the words turned darker explaining her latest physical ailments. Lin could not believe how much pain one person could endure. She not only gave her time listening to Rosie’s woes, but she also gave her the things she may mention she desired. If Rosie mentioned she did not have enough money for groceries, Lin would fire up her laptop to transfer funds. Rosie’s latest passion was playing mah-jongg. She happened to mention which set of mah-jongg tiles she would buy for herself when she could afford it. Lin had that specific set sent out via overnight delivery. Her phone unexpectedly began playing Fur Elise, Rosie's ringtone! She clicked on the green incoming call indicator immediately.

“I got your letter, honey. What is this all about? Why have you blocked me from everywhere, sweetie? You can’t do this anymore, you said. You can’t do what, sugar? Be my friend? You can't mean that!" She stopped to take a breath.

“Rosie, thank God. I looked for you everywhere. I can't find you anywhere."

“You blocked me, sweetheart. What nonsense! You said you were ill and quote, out of your mind, unquote. I think that is malarkey. You want me to forgive you for saying you are exhausted keeping me for a friend?

“But it’s tr…”

Rosie interrupted going on a rampage of words, scolding Lin. She said she would never understand. How could Lin do this to her? Lin stopped listening.

Rosie's now wailing voice was irritating. She wanted to tell her to just shut up, listen, and be her friend. Enough with the woe-is-me talk. Her mind wandered back to the fourth of July. She was texting with Rosie. Watching the amazing fireworks displays on TV. Her head was spinning while pictures of the sky bursting with colors played on. Rosie was being Rosie. With her southern drawl, she was calling Lin honey and sweetheart. Something snapped. It was Lin's heart that twanged.

Alas, she knew she was in love with Rosie. Beyond friendship, she wanted to be with her. Really BE with her. That is why she sent the message. She wanted to get off the fast track. LIn's hints and suggestive talk for the last months went unnoticed. The previous week, Rosie mentioned she went to a get-together with her girlfriends. A new person showed up, a friend of her friend.

“Can you believe she hit on me, Lin?"

“Oh my gosh, you’re kidding!"

“Seriously, sweetie, she did and my skin crawled."

Red flag! No way she could tell her beloved Rosie how she felt. Beyond that, she desired her in a way that was taboo in Lin's world. Her thoughts fantasized what how she would love her. Her long jet-black hair, beautiful green eyes, and her bronze skin were hard to resist. She said she was hit upon and did not like it one bit.

Rosie continued with her tirade. Lin listened a bit longer then clicked the red disconnect circle. Let it be, she thought. Shut it off, zip it, nip it, and forget it. She would carry the secret with her, to comfort her through the heartache that would surely follow.

"Did you know? You must have suspected. It is the truth," she whispered into the phone's speaker. "I will always love you, Rosie".