Writer's cramp |
I have a large collection of elephants; carved wooden ones, blown glass specimen, ones sculpted from papier-mache, you name it I've got it. It started with one, a carved wooden jobbie inherited from my parents. I used to play with it as a child, consequentially the tusks had been removed for safety. I added a couple of examples bought at the antique fair; can't have Mum's getting lonely. Then the invasion started. What can we get Susan as a present? Oh, I know, an elephant. Soon every shelf was heaving under the weight of so many pachyderms. Some were slightly more imaginative, like my friend Anne and her cross-stitch (Of an elephant) I did like the delicate watercolour from my artist daughter, but some were monstrosities. It will be my birthday soon and I am wondering if I might, just once, get something other than an elephant. But I did not expect what came next. A loud clattering started up outside. I went to the window and looked out. Manoeuvring outside was a large flat bed lorry.. It had a built in crane and was carrying a very large crate. What the ... A guy jumped from the cab, clipboard in hand and headed to my door. "Happy Birthday to you ..." the guy sang at me, really out of tune. "Okay, you don't need to carry on." He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks love. This is a birthday present from Tony." Tony is my brother-in-law. He is a backpacker, travelling the world like some teenager on a gap year. He is 57. My thoughts about the large 'gift' were interrupted by the sound of trumpeting coming from within the crate. "Oh my God, he didn't!" I walked over to the lorry. I was greeted by a trunk poking through a hole in the side of the crate. "Hello gorgeous." "Where do you want it love?" "THE ZOO!" 317 WORDS |