The Allover Tan

“What did you say? Are you out of your mind? I can’t and would not go if I could go there. Idiot!”

“Might I remind you, Robert, I am your boss. I OWN this company, remember? Besides, it’s not crazy, you can go there.”

“The second part applies!”

“What? What second part for gods sake, you do not make sense sometimes.”

“The part where I said, ‘and would not go if I could go there. Idiot!’ That part. I still refuse.”

“Look, Bob, we…”

“Oh, we’re dialed back to Bob now. Do I get a kiss on the cheek too? Maybe lips? Well… okay, but no tongue.”

“What? Tongue? What the hell are you talking about, Bob? I’m trying to GIVE you a paid vacation in a top resort and all you can do is argue? What’ll Irene say when she finds out you refused? She will be pissed!”

“Leave Irene out of it.”

“I can’t, she’s my sister and we share everything. She is my VP.”

“She is primarily my wife, so leave her out of this.”

“Can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I already told her. She’s excited and is already putting together her travel attire.”

“I’m going to kill you, Fred. If I survive, you won’t, I will find a very painful way to kill you and if I think I won’t survive what I just said applies and if I, buy some miracle, do survive what I said applies anyway.”

“That was a bit convoluted.”

“Screw you, Fred.”

“Listen, Bob, it’s not what your thinking. They’ve built a satellite that orbits inside Mercury’s and is shaded and cooled with new hardware that can withstand the heat. Every women in the system wants to go there. I found the developers several big-ticket investors and he’s comped me 4 passes. Joyce and I are going and we thought you and Irene would be perfect to travel with. Please, Bob?”

“Irene already knows so she and Joyce were going to have a,’little,’ look at a couple things? Right. I’d better transfer some money, this is going to cost me despite the passes.”

“Yeah, but think of the tan lines she’ll have and how grateful she’ll be.”

“You have a point there. Okay, what’s available for us while the women are getting killer tan lines.”

“Maybe no tan lines, I hear that’s possible too.”

“Okay, when do we leave?”

“Two weeks, the 28th, a Tuesday. And, they have this incredible low gravity golf course that I hear the professionals are clamoring to try. We’ll have a good time there and maybe I’ll finally beat you.”

“Maybe. We’ll see. Let’s go have a beer, everyone’s gone home.”

“I’m buying.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel guilty.”

“Is it working?”

“No.”

“Good, let’s go get that beer anyway.”