Overnight Snack

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Overnight Snack

My alarm is set for 3 AM. But it’s on vibrate. Mousey got a new toy, and it works just fine. Can’t let that stupid furbag named Mouser hear me coming. And by the way, who decided ‘Mouser’ was a good name? Did anyone check with said Mouse? Nooo. So I don’t feel the least bit guilty sneaking about for a little overnight snack. That stupid bag of fur won’t hear me. No alarm to hear, fuzzy slippers on to soften the fall of tiny feet, the tail tied up so it won’t flop around. I think I’m all set. A little snooze and the hunt is on.

‘Burrr, burrr, burrr’
Wow. That’s louder than expected.

Sniff, sniff, snuffle, snort…“Hey mousey, you in there? Come on out and play. I heard your toy. It’s pretty loud. Think you can pull the wool over on ole’ Mouser? Huh? C’mon mousey, everyone’s asleep. Let’s you and me have some fun.”

A paw tried to enter my den. Nice try, puss. But wait, he grabbed a slipper.
“Hey you moth-eaten flea-bitten miserable excuse for a feline, give me back my slipper!”

I snuck a peek out the hole. Sure enough, he has my slipper on his ear. Rotten cat.

“Come on out and get it! Are you brave enough little mousey?”

“Now you give that back. Not fair. My feet get cold.”

“That’s because they are not nice and furry like mine.” A big green eye looks inside my private home. The nerve! “Where’s the other one? My other ear needs covered.” If cats could laugh, he just did. Evil.

“Tell you what, Mouser,” I swallowed back the dread as I say that name, “I’ll let you have half of what I find tonight if you give back my slipper.”

“I knew it! You were going hunting tonight. That’s why your new toy made so much noise. It was your alert.”

“You’re pretty smart for a silly cat. If you’re so smart, what am I going to find for us to eat tonight?”

There was a pause as that cat thought, or fell asleep. I wasn’t sure which.

“Well? What will I find?”

“Relax tiny tidbit, Mouser had to retrace his steps from tonight. Perhaps we can scare up some left-over potato chips near the big talking box, or some crackers near the other talking box or I think I smell cookies under Sally’s bed.”

My whiskers got all a swizzle with the thought of cookies. There hadn’t been cookies forgotten for days. Good job, Sally.

“Okay, well, we need a plan. You need to distract the dog thing while I go get the cookies.”

Again, a long pause. Did he fall asleep again?

“Well, I don’t know, little bit of trouble, why do I always have to take care of the barking animal?”

“Um, because, because, the barking dog thing loves you and lets you sleep with it. So go up to the dog thing, don’t let it bark. Love the dog thing, lick the dog thing like you do. And while the dog thing is distracted, I can grab a cookie.”

“Just one cookie?”

Good point. I must argue this a bit more. “I’m just a little hopeless mouse here, big furry purring cat. It’s all I can do to carry one cookie. I mean, I’ve been working on my muscles, but, you know, there is just so much one can do with these little hairless feet.”

“Then why don’t I do the cookie thing and you go lick the dog thing?”

“Because the barking dog thing has very big teeth and loves to eat little helpless hairless-feet mouseys. That’s why.”

“Oh, okay. Barking animal does like me better than he likes you. He’s always mad when he sees you.”

Now Mouser was seeing my side of the argument. “So, are we all set? I’ll go to Sally’s room and you’ll take care of the barking dog thing?”

“Well, will you save some of the cookie for me?”

“I will try. It depends on how much cookie I can bring back.”

“I can have barking dog help you.”

This whole plan was going sideways fast. Time to implement.

I ran to Sally’s room, grabbed one of the chocolate sugar wafers. Good thing they are light! I nibbled just a bit to be sure they were fresh. Back down the steps. Mouser was loving on the dog thing. I got to my house. Oops.

Suddenly Mouser and barking dog thing stood over me. I had miscalculated the size ratio of my entry way to the length and breadth of the cookie.

Meow! Bark! Bark! Bark!

We ran round and round, then people came running, then shouting. Then the door opened. Mouser and barking dog thing were put outside.

I grabbed the tiniest bit of brown sugar wafer I spied near the base of the giant cold food place. I ran inside my home and fell into my nest. A late night nibble at last.

W/C 833