A Poem About Walmart

Blasts of random radio noise can be detected while still circling for a parking spot
"Everybody and their grandmother is here today" I grumble
As I squeeze my car in between the bulging cart corral
And the Kia Soul parked over the line
Once inside, I'm enveloped by a crush of harried scurrying customers
And a cacophony of unnecessary music and chatter descending
From high powered bass speakers suspended from the twenty foot ceiling
I dodge an overloaded cart manned by a multitasking mom and check my list
Against the hopelessly disorganized shelves:
My favorite coffee - sold out.
Basic bread - price hiked by thirty percent.
AM OJ - there's a virus decimating the Florida orange groves, dontcha know?
Where's the French onion dip? Oh, that was discontinued due to Covid.
Fresh produce? Looks like it was grown in a nuclear waste site.
School supplies? Needles in a scholastic haystack.
I spend ninety minutes tiring myself out, trekking up and down endless aisles
Stuffed with dazzling overpriced merchandise I'll never want or need
I watch as an old man stops his cart to bend over
And pick up a bag of marshmallows
Which had magically jumped off the shelf in front of him.
Then, I wait in line, putting their WiFi to good use.
The self checkout gobbles my money and stubbornly jams
and I wait fifteen more minutes for the CSM to bring me two fifty in change.
At least they don't weigh what you bag anymore -
*UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA*
Good grief.
I push my heavy laden cart through the lot
Narrowly avoid getting run over
Load everything into the car
Wait ten minutes at the light to make a left
Navigate a five mile long traffic jam through a construction site
And then remember -

I was supposed to buy milk.

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