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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Contest Entry · #2299589
Malaprops/Mondegreens entry for July 2023 (winner)
competition details

I look out the window, but I can't see the sky
'Cause the air pollution is ******* up my eyes


That caused me to sit up and pay attention. The air pollution is doing what to his eyes???

The Kinks were big in the sixties, but their heyday was a little early for me. I'd heard some of their stuff over the years though, so I got their greatest hits on a double CD. I sat there and listened as one hit followed another...and so we came to "Ape Man", a song about disillusionment with the modern world - overpopulation, war, pollution. That awful air pollution, doing unspeakable things to Ray Davies's eyes.

Re-listening to it several times didn't make it any better - that 1960's London pollution didn't take any prisoners. Fortunately we live in the age of the internet. A quick Google and the "official" lyrics were made clear.

I look out the window, but I can't see the sky
'Cause the air pollution is fogging up my eyes


Air pollution, smog, reduced visibility - fogs up your eyes. Yep - makes sense.

But I've listened to that track many times, dug up other recordings and videos on YouTube - and if I live to be 100 I'm never going to hear about air pollution "fogging" up his eyes. It's always doing something worse...much, much worse. No wonder he wanted to get out of the city and make like an ape-man.
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