Love, Drugs, and Magic

I don't have words to describe how it feels when I see her, she's beautiful of course, that much is evident as she leans against the wall outside the clearing, but that word doesn't even begin to encompass her.

Slender, strong fingers wrapping themselves loosely around her joint, we rolled them right before divination, the long blades of grass barely brushed against her thighs, wildflowers surrounded us here, we’d been coming here since I first met her, during orientation.

Academically she was a natural, of course, a prodigy when it came to magic, I couldn't help but be drawn to her, and Allie well, socially, she was a bit rough around the edges, I was worse of course, and I know that I've been staring a bit too long to be proper or friendly but then again I can't seem to care, not when she doesn't either, all bruting and quiet contemplation, never quite letting me inside her head, smoking alone. Again. It's our thing, she only smokes alone when she's angry or hiding something, she’s always hiding something.

I hate this part, the confrontation, the drama of it all, the bile turning in my stomach at the thought of it. Truth be told Callie might be the one person in the world that riles me up this way, the worst way, she does agitate or antagonize, at least then I might be able to tell what she's thinking.
the emptiness echoes and there is weight in her absences, and god it is unbearable, I never want to miss her, and yet somehow I always do.
I know she knows I'm here, I can hear the slight uptick in her heart at my presence, the goosebumps that raise on delicate silver skin, the silent smirk when I inevitably break our carefully calculated silence.

“How is it?” I say walking slowly as I make my way to her,

“Good,” she says then releases a long exhale, ghosts form haphazardly in the clouds of her smoke

“I thought so, considering I grew it” We'd spent six months just getting the soil right, why wouldn't she want to do this together?

“We grew it,” she says, her voice a whisper of the wind. She's far away, in her head in a place where no one can reach. I try to ignore my heart and maintain our distance.

exactly we.

“Whatever,"

"God, why are you doing this?”

“Dont fucking start Lace please.” there's anger in her voice but mostly, she sounds tired

“You said callie, you fucking said,”

“I know what I said,” she says now mostly through her joint, eyes locked onto me as she steps forward shrinking the space between us in some feeble attempt at calming me.

"So what you're just lying to me now is that it?" I say, leaning toward her with every breath

“Yeah, I’m.- sorry god no Lacey, I-”

Not good enough, “Fuck off.”

“Lace,” she says my name like a plea for restraint I'm not sure I possess anymore. The wolf inside me is warring to claw its way out of my body. I can feel the hum of blood as it rushes through my ears and down my throat. The itch of the change just underneath my skin, it’d be so much easier to run and hide then, behind the wolf, but I can't. Not with her, not ever with her.

“No, you said Allie, you're the one who said we grow it together, we’d smoke it together, you and me. This, us, smoking that’s our thing,” but she's touching me now, hands dwarfing mine, rubbing gentle, soothing circles into my palms as she looks at me like I'm the only thing she can see in the world, like, a confession.
As hard as I try to stop it, my anger begins to wane, argent eyes looking up at me, more sincerity than the dead sun. She's my best friend, the only person, in the world I could never stay mad at.