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Young girl says good-by forever to the mother she should have had. |
Lost Forever At the bus stop My worn through sneakers stop short of the covered bench Her bleached hair, short skirt and spiked heels tell her age better than the lines in her face I take a step closer She looks up Our hands tremble Mine holding out a child's card I've tried so hard to fill with love the one I'd made for Rachel, who'd given me life thirteen years before the one who's never loved me back Hers, smell of men and twisted dreams they reach for a gift from the daughter she should have had the one standing a heartbeat away Our eyes meet Mine fill with love for my should-have-been mother the one who would have read "Good Night Moon" to me as I waited for the one who never would have made me wait until I was seven and could read it to myself Hers fill with pain from bedtime stories forever left unread from a million hugs and kisses never given, and never received We cry Me for the life I've never been allowed to have with her my real life not the fake one, the make-believe one, the one I'll always remember She for her broken life that never should have been a life of abuse, a life of addiction, a life without love One that having me would have changed in every way We leave each other Me boarding the bus for home, wondering why my soul had been given to the child in Rachel's womb and not to the daughter she never had She clutching the card to her heart watching me go, watching my bus disappear into the traffic, forever lost. |